With Amanda Testa 

When a relationship ends, your identity shifts, or life simply doesn't look the way you thought it would, it can feel like you've lost your spark. Your desire. Your joy. Even your sense of who you are.

And in a world that's constantly telling us to heal faster, move on, and reinvent ourselves, what if the most powerful thing we could do is actually slow down and honor the darkness?

In this deeply nourishing episode of the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast, I'm welcoming back author, coach, and teacher LiYana Silver, whose new book, Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce: The Radical Road Through Breaking, Awakening, and Self-Reclamation, offers a beautiful and compassionate roadmap through life's most challenging transitions.

We're exploring what it really means to move through a "dark night of the soul" without rushing to fix yourself or make everything okay.

From navigating divorce and heartbreak to the profound identity shifts of perimenopause and midlife, LiYana shares why these challenging seasons aren't necessarily signs that something has gone wrong. They can also become powerful invitations to reconnect with your deepest wisdom, your boundaries, and the parts of yourself that have been waiting to come home.

And perhaps my favorite reminder from this conversation? Your feminine fire doesn't disappear during the dark times. Sometimes it's simply an ember, waiting to be gently tended.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

+The five phases of the dark night of the soul and how understanding where you are can bring compassion and hope to even the hardest seasons.

+The surprising power of "lying fallow" and why allowing yourself to rest, rather than constantly pushing toward healing or reinvention, can open the door to profound transformation.

+Why midlife and perimenopause can bring everything to the surface, including unmet needs, changing identities, and relationship patterns that no longer feel sustainable.

+How anger can become a fierce protector of your worth, helping you reconnect with healthy boundaries, your desires, and what's truly precious to you.

+The parts of ourselves we unknowingly abandon in relationships, and how heartbreak can become an opportunity for self-reclamation.

+Simple, nourishing ways to rekindle your feminine fire, even when you're exhausted, grieving, or don't feel motivated to do anything.

+How to truly support someone going through heartbreak, without trying to fix their pain or rush them toward the other side.

A Few of My Favorite Takeaways

One of the things I loved most about this conversation is LiYana's invitation to stop treating life's hardest seasons as problems we need to solve as quickly as possible.

Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is allow ourselves to be exactly where we are.

Whether that's taking a few extra minutes between appointments, saying no to another obligation, feeling the sunshine on your skin, or simply allowing yourself to grieve what has been lost.

These seemingly small moments matter.

We also dive into one of my favorite concepts from LiYana's work: anger as the fierce protection of the precious.

What if, instead of judging your anger or pushing it away, you got curious about what it's trying to protect?

What if underneath that anger is a part of you that's finally saying, "I matter, too"?

There is so much wisdom available when we learn to listen to ourselves in this way.

If you're moving through divorce, heartbreak, a major relationship transition, or simply finding that the old ways of living and loving no longer fit, this conversation is an invitation to give yourself some grace.

You don't have to have it all figured out.

You don't have to rush your healing.

And you certainly don't have to abandon yourself to get through it.

Your fire is still there, even if right now it's just a tiny ember.

Episode Timestamps

00:00 – When life falls apart: welcoming LiYana Silver

02:00 – Why the dark night of the soul isn't a punishment

04:30 – How to get through the days when simply functioning feels impossible

07:30 – The beautiful practice of lying fallow and letting yourself rest

11:40 – The myth of Inanna and reclaiming the parts of ourselves we've lost

14:00 – The five phases of the dark night: initiation, dissolution, excavation, reimagining, and emerging

23:00 – Divorce, perimenopause, and the powerful transformations of midlife

29:30 – Anger as the fierce protection of what is precious

34:30 – Why your feminine fire never truly disappears

38:30 – Resources for navigating heartbreak and supporting someone you love

Connect with LiYana Silver

Explore LiYana's new book, Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce, and access her free Heartbreak Transformation Map, which walks you through the five phases of the dark night with supportive practices.

liyanasilver.com/wakingup

If this episode touched your heart, please share it with someone navigating a challenging season of life. Sometimes simply knowing we're not alone can make all the difference.

And if you're ready to reconnect with your own sensuality, desire, and feminine fire, I'd love to support you.

Get my free Sensuality Activation at amandatesta.com/thegoods.

Here's to honoring every season of our lives, even the dark ones, and remembering that our fire is always there, waiting for us to find our way back.

With love,
Amanda

My name is Amanda Testa, and I'm a Sex, Love, and Relationship Expert + Trauma Resolution Guide.

My goal is to support you to heal your relationship to your sexuality so you can eliminate shame and guilt, own your sexy confidence, feel like a Goddess/Goddex in your skin, and have the deeply connected relationships you desire.

My unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method™ combines the latest in neuroscience and somatic healing with ancient practices to facilitate rapid and lasting transformation. 
I'm also a Mama to a spunky 12 year old,  Wife to my sexy hubs, and lover of outdoor adventure and live music. 


I believe deep in my soul is that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. 

I believe your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality.

When we own our sexual power our pleasure and creativity flourishes.  Our confidence and body image soars.

Our relationships deepen.

And when you can connect to that power in yourself, it’s life-changing.

If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk! Click to book a free call to see if we’re a fit.

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