Finding Rhythms of Support
In Stressful Times
with Amanda Testa
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired and exhausted at all the collective chaos and want to feel more vitality and empowered safety, then listen in to this week's episode.
In this week’s pod I’m talking about the power of surrender, and creating routines to tend to your needs so you can move into fall feeling less stressed, and more turned on.
Complete Transcript available below.
In this episode you'll discover
Amanda Testa is a World Changing Witch, + A Pleasure Revolutionary, who is passionate about supporting you to have the deeply connected relationships of your dreams, to live free of shame and full of confidence, energy, and orgasmic joy.
As a sex, love and relationship coach and trauma resolution guide, her mission is to support you to take up all the space, to show all of your authentic self, and to shine, shine, shine in all your perfectly imperfect glory.
JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.
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Amanda Testa (00:15):
If you're feeling overwhelmed and just really getting tired of all the chaos in the world, wanting to feel more vitality and empowered safety in the midst of all the struggles. That we are collectively experiencing then listen in. In this week's podcast, I'm talking about the power of surrender and creating routines to tend to your needs. So you can move into fall feeling less stressed and more turned on. And this is your host, Amanda Testa. I know from so many conversations that I've had recently, there is a bit of exhaustion I'm feeling, a collective feeling of exhaustion. At just, the continual tragedies we are experiencing on this human plane. And yes, it's normal to be feeling all the feels right now. And I know for myself on top of everything as well, dealing with personal healing and recovery from my broken ankle and just really having to surrender to that process that it can be a challenging thing, especially when we are wired in a certain way.
Amanda Testa (01:21):
Right. And I know for myself, I typically am one, it likes to go, go, go and do, and be outside and be playing with my dog and spending time out nature. And because of my injury, I've been a little bit grounded, so to speak. And fought it at first for sure. You know, I was upset and I cried. And then I started to surrender to the, "what is" that's right. And trying to find the depth and potency of the experience that I was in. And I think when it comes to surrender, that is a big key is realizing that we don't have control. And I know we like to think we do, but we really, we don't have control over much. Right. We can do all. We can to create a sense of security and wellbeing for ourselves, but we really in the big picture don't have control.
Amanda Testa (02:12):
So what can feel helpful though, in those experiences where you're feeling overwhelmed, where you're feeling, I don't even know what I could do to help, or I don't even know I'm just shutting down because it's all too much, that there are some things that you can do to kind of reconnect to that vitality within yourself. And I want to share a little bit about that today. Something too, that I think can be interesting. I shared about this a few months ago on the podcast around how to have a more orgasmic summer and the different ingredients of orgasm and surrender being a big one, being a big part of that, right? Surrendering to the unknown, to that depth of expansion. And as we are moving into fall, I think this can be a beautiful time to kind of look at our routines, our rituals, and where things are working and where they might not be, because one of the things that can really support our health is to create those predictability cycles.
Amanda Testa (03:15):
And yes, we can't control things in the big picture, but when we can create rituals and routines that support us, it can help us feel more grounded. And I think right now that can be such a powerful thing. And especially with fall and this season of change coming upon us, it's not quite fall yet, but almost that, you know, the back to school time, if you have kids that can feel for me, it's always just kind of this refresh. I just noticed this time of harvest and gratitude and shifting gears, and can also feel kind of celebratory a little bit when you have that time to yourself again, after the kids go back to school, and I'm going to share a little bit about one of the archetypes I love from one of my mentors, Rachael Maddox, and you might have be, have listened to our episodes before when she talks about, you know, kind of her Rebloom method, and as a ReBloom certified coach as well,
Amanda Testa (04:11):
I really love archetypes because I think there's such a, something we can all connect to. Right? Even in last week's podcast, we talked about the archetype of the unicorn and I like this archetype of the groundskeeper for this time of year and the blueprint, So basically when it comes to the groundskeeper, when it comes to these archetypes, there's certain imprints, traumatic imprints that happen in our life. That can cause us to have a hard time. I mean, there are certain blueprints that happen that we're just born with, right? We have these blueprints of health within us, but then what happens in our life can leave traumatic imprints that make it hard to really live into that health. And so what we want to do is we want to breathe life into the health, into that blueprint so that you can feel more whole and that you can, you know, bring this process of Reblooming into vitality and pleasure and all the goodness that life has to offer.
Amanda Testa (05:13):
When it comes to the Groundskeeper, the blueprint of health in the groundskeeper, that innate goodness that we all have access to, is vitality and empowered safety. So within that, you are devoting regular care for your health, your wellbeing, your thriving, you know, really taking time to prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental and spiritual wellbeing. And you're also, you know, making care to keep yourself at safe distances, from things that are unhealthy, you know, maybe there's behaviors or people or situations that you are doing a good job of keeping safe distance from, right? And you also have a vitality that enables you to be fully you, be your authentic, full self you are able to share who you are fully and being able to transform environments around you with that health, the more healthy you are, the more that it spreads around you. And you're able to, you transform the environment around you into one of more health, more prosperity, more peace.
Amanda Testa (06:20):
And we can all use that in this world, especially today. And so what happens, you know, often throughout our lives, as we can have these imprints, these things that can happen to us emotional or physical violence that can cause that blueprint to feel far away sometimes. So if you've had any of that history, then you can possibly respond in a couple of ways, right? There's kind of the way our nervous system responds, is typically one of two ways. And the hypo response is kind of when you shut down or feeling more kind of numb, right? So maybe you'll find yourself moving towards addictive behavior around food or alcohol or cannabis or technology or Netflix or all those things, perhaps it's even bypassing pain and focusing only on what feels good, maybe a little spiritual bypassing thereperhaps even dropping down into depression or illness, or perhaps clinging into relationships that might not be as healthy for you.
Amanda Testa (07:21):
And also just really internalizing that violence towards yourself. That would be kind of that hypo response to that imprint of emotional or physical violence. And alternatively, we could be on the other end of the spectrum, the hyper response where it's more like we have these high energy outbursts, maybe you have outbursts of anger and you don't know where they come from, or aggression or frustration having extreme highs and lows, you know, perhaps carelessness you know, taking in this cycles of external violence, taking it out on others, you know, perhaps you are more angry, perhaps there's more yelling and things of that nature and really what you can do to help bring yourself back into that healthy vitality, that healthy empowered safety, where you're taking care of yourself. And you're really making sure needs are met is by kind of looking at your rituals and routines periodically.
Amanda Testa (08:23):
I love to do this quarterly at least because I notice for myself things change, right? And our needs change as we move through life and the year. And so really looking at your day-to-day experience and kind of weeding and watering, if you will attending to the fertile ground that you need and noticing what needs to be taken out, what needs to be moved around. And I think this is such a beautiful practice because often just taking that time to look throughout your day and say, okay, in the morning when I wake up, what kind of things are going well, what kind of practices, what kind of things do I do in the morning that feel really good? That make me feel good. That make me feel, you know, like I'm taking care of myself. That make me feel healthy. That make me feel whole and remember, and remembering to continue to do those things.
Amanda Testa (09:13):
And then maybe on the other hand, what are some things that I'm doing that aren't healthy like today I was not making a very healthy choice and I immediately got on my phone. I was trying to look something up that I was, I don't remember dreaming about next thing ou know, I'm Facebooking. And so no. Okay. That is not a very healthy thing for me. So I, I need to weed that out of my morning or I need to pull that behavior out of my morning. And don't do that when I first wake up, I'm also noticing, you know, in your environment, maybe things need to be changed and cleaned up. Maybe some decluttering, maybe some rearranging, maybe some freshening in your physical space, right. Perhaps any kind of, of environment or relationship that might not be serving you maybe needs to be, be looked at.
Amanda Testa (09:55):
Right. And also noticing what might you could add in right where you could water some more where some other really healthy practices you could put into your morning, right? Maybe it's drinking a glass of water before you get it a bed. Maybe it's hugging your loved one that's in the bed with you. Maybe it is taking a moment to just connect with your own body. Maybe it is, you know, just saying something loving and kind to yourself, right. It can be anything, but it's just going throughout your day and noticing what's working, what's not, and that is such a powerful practice. I know it can seem so simple, but it can really be transformational because we could create these cycles of predictability that help our nervous system to relax, especially when it feels overwhelming when it feels hard. And this so connects to our overall sexuality as well, because when we are in a place of overwhelm or chaos or shut down or whatever it might be, we're not going to be able to access those pleasurable states, right.
Amanda Testa (10:58):
It's really hard to feel pleasure or to want to engage in pleasurable activity when you're totally numbed out. And so when you can take the time to look at your, look at your day, look at your month, look at your week, whatever it might be and really tune into what are the things that encourage me to feel good about myself? What are the things that help me feel vital? What are the things that make me feel safe and doing more of those things, you build up that foundation of resilience and feeling good. And it can be starting in the smallest way is because that builds and builds and builds. And then you feel more capacity to be, oh yeah, you know what I do want to be out and about? I do want to spend time with my lover. I do want to enjoy some delicious, you know, sun on my skin, whatever it might be, but we have to kind of build that health and our bodies and our systems to reach those higher levels of pleasure.
Amanda Testa (12:04):
And when you're having a hard time, that can feel challenging. So if that's, you know that's okay and we go through cycles, as I've mentioned, numerous times here on this podcast, we go through cycles and it can be very normal to be in a winter. We're very normal to be however you are. And also knowing when that kind of feels like it's an extended period where you might want to look at some ways to invite more help then right. And sometimes we can't do it alone. I know for myself, some of the things that are really key for me are spending time with my community, spending time with friends, doing things that make me feel good, being around people that make me smile and that I love right. Spending time outdoors as much as possible, feeling the sun on my skin. And that's been challenging too, because we have really terrible air quality right now.
Amanda Testa (12:55):
And so he could probably hear it in my nose. I'm very stuffy and it's been giving me a headache. It's so thick with smoke outside. It's hard to breathe. So also being aware of when things pop in that keep you from doing your normal rituals, what you can do to shift, because that's another aspect of surrender, right? When things don't go our way, when things are out of our control, what do you do in that case? Right. So for me, what is it it's wearing a mask when I'm outside. So I can feel less pollutants going into my body. It is, you know, instead of spending as much time outside as I I'd like and spending a little more time inside, but I'm making up for that need of connection, which I get through nature by petting my dog or snuggling with my family. And to me that still gives me that connection, that I'm looking for something outside of myself to connect to.
Amanda Testa (13:53):
And sometimes we really need that external. We need something outside of us to attune, to, to feel good. And so if this is something that is intriguing for you, I actually am going to be hosting a mini retreat on creating fertile ground where we're going to go a little more deeply into this practice and really learning for you, what you need to support yourself. And that is going to be coming up on September 25th. So be on the lookout, if you want to learn more, make sure you're on my email list. I'll be sending out more about that. Or I'll also post it in the show notes here. And just, I'm curious as you listen, even just now, as you tune into for yourself, maybe something has stood out right now, maybe something has stood out like, yeah, you know what? I know these are some things that are doing in by day that I need to perhaps shift.
Amanda Testa (14:58):
And I love this beautiful affirmation around this archetype of the groundskeeper. And so I'm going to read it and you can just let it land. However, it feels most resonant in your system. And if you feel like it, you can repeat after me or just noticing how it feels to hear these words. I am fertile ground. I am fertile ground. I tend to all of me, I tend to all of me, I move myself where I need to be. I weed and water accordingly. I am empowered safety. I am so alive. And just noticing how that feels to receive and that possibility of that healthy blueprint of vitality and empowered safety and making that commitment to yourself to devote regular care for all the parts of you.
Amanda Testa (16:16):
And also knowing it's totally normal that we have different responses to life because it is, it's a, it's a, a journey and really there's no goal at the end. It's just, how can I make the most of what is presented to me so that I can live a pleasurable life so that I can enjoy my family and my friends, my body, my feminine fire, my sexuality, and I really feel everything. Everything is important, right? All that we do. And the little things add up. So thank you for listening and I will look forward to seeing you next week.