Blood. Breath. Belonging.
This week I'm thrilled to be talking with two of my besties, Rachel Sizemore and Kit Murray Maloney, on the power of Community and Collaboration.
We've been leaning into support with each other, and wanted to expand that in a bigger way. We've teamed up to create a space for connection, ritual, community, and belonging. Listen in as we share how the modalities of yoni steaming, breathwork, and pleasure practices have transformed our lives, and how we are coming together to support others in the process.
(Complete transcript below)
In this episode you'll discover
If you feel the call to explore this work more deeply, you're invited to join us in Blood Breath and Belonging HERE.
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Join in the discussion on this episode and more in my free Facebook Group, Find Your Feminine Fire HERE.
Amanda Testa (00:02):
Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a Sex ,Love and Relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex love and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome. Hello everyone. And welcome. And I am just beyond lit up today because I am going to be talking with my dear friends and sisters, Rachel Sizemore and Kit Murray Maloney. And we are gathered here today because we are feeling called that, especially in times like this, something that I personally have found, so healing and supportive and I can't get enough of these days is circle community support. And so I know for myself, I am finding new ways to lean into that since it can't always be the way we want it to look right now with COVID, we have to be creative, right? So we are cooking up a delicious, delicious circle, and we are here to share more out that and why we felt called to do this and why, especially now this is the time this is the time to lean in. So welcome. Welcome everyone.
Amanda Testa (01:23):
And so, as we get started, I'd love to just start with, you know, if maybe Kit, if you want to start just sharing a little bit about, about you. And I know if you've been listening to this podcast for awhile, you probably are familiar with, body Rachel and Kit. Cause they've both been on the show and they're dear friends, also very strong advocates for sexuality, for healing, for wholeness. And so we really are very aligned in our missions.
Kit Murray Maloney (01:49):
Thank you so much for that. Yeah. I was thinking, I love this podcast so much I'm an avid listener and I'm an avid participant in many ways. So thank you for having me back and thank you and Rachel for the three of us stepping into this container of Blood breath and belonging and bringing it to life. And so soon. My name is Kit. Um've been in the world of health and wellness for two decades now, and I've been in my own journey of exploration around what that means when it comes to embodiment, sexuality, pleasure, and living in communion with one cycle. And that evolution has taken me on a journey with business ventures as well. So one entrepreneurial activity I've had is all about celebrating women's sexual pleasure for healing and safety and empowerment. And that work then transitioned into a new venture. That's about one year old and she's such a darling and actually it's her birthday on her first circle of blood breath and belongings so we might neet to bring her a little cupcake or something. So Kitara Is that venture. And, um is a venture to support connecting to our cycles through ancient practice of vaginal steaming., An so through Kitara we provide products, information and community around using vaginal steaming to heal our womb space, to drop into connection to the second chackra to that healing and all that, that encompasses, um ch of course is pleasure, which of course facing the negative, if not the very commonality trauma that we hold there and being in that balance of receptivity and release that I think is so beautifully mirrored in our cycles as we walk this earth as many body people. Um, my, my role in this, issupporting the entire container and co-creating with each of you and with all the women who step into Blood, Breath and Belonging that I am leading the blood aspect, ofthis circle and am very honored and delighted to do so.
Amanda Testa (04:00):
Yay. Thank you so much Kit. And now over to you, Rachel Sizemore, Rachel, can you share?
Rachel Sizemore (04:07):
Yes. I'd love to I'm so, so happy to be here. I think I was maybe on like the very first episode I interviewed you, I think.
Amanda Testa (04:14):
Yes. I think you're right. Yeah, you did.
Rachel Sizemore (04:17):
I know that was a really fun interview to do. Yes. So I'm Rachel and aligned with these two lovely ladies in my devotion to the yoni bodied people to sexuality, to expansion, I am a breathwork healer and an embodiment intimacy, mindfulness coach, mentor, being flowing and evolving as we all are. And the piece that I'm going to be bringing to our group is breath work. And as I'm sure we'll, we'll get into these modalities. As, as Kit was sharing, I was like, Ooh, let's talk yoni steaming, can we share our experiences? And we could do the same for breath work. I know we've all practiced a lot of that as well. But the idea being that the breath is our life force, the breath. Literally we cannot survive without in, you know, after a few minutes. And generally we go around breathing shallowly, anxious, tight, and there's a real magic when we invite more oxygen into our bodies, especially when we do it in circle for allowing us to drop in, to feel what needs to be felt to get in touch with our bodies again, to get in touch with our heart. And there's so much play with breath work and especially in circle. And I know that just given the whole energy of Blood Breath, Belonging, we'll also be bringing in delight and enjoyment with, with our experience with the breath. So I'm excited for that as well.
Amanda Testa (05:50):
I'm so thrilled. And you know, one of the things we also talked about is how, especially when things get hard and crazy taking the time to take care of yourself, it's so important. And I know we spoke to this around, you know, wanting something that feels easy and doable and connect you to your aliveness and yourself. And that's why each of us bring a different aspect of embodiment to offer. And it's not like something that you have to do, anything you show up and receive. And however it unfolds is how it needs to be. I think that's what I love about having a practice of taking care of yourself. Sensual self care is I love to call it and I will be leading a pleasure based Sensual Self care practice. So whether that means you show up and you just take a nap, whether that means you show up and you dive a fully into the practice, obviously, you know, the sexuality piece I think is so huge.
Amanda Testa (06:42):
And I think what people sometimes get intimidated by is what that looks like. And what I'm just here to say is everything is always an invitation and there's always options for you to participate at whatever level feels doable for you. And it's really about you showing up and tuning into what you need and making sure you get that for yourself in some way. And I think sometimes even just showing up and being held in the space, you don't even have to do anything and you get so much from it, right? Especially now with all that's going on in the craziness. It's like we have all the things coming up and moving into 2021 is having support and feeling held and feeling like you can just show up and deepen and connect to yourself and that's all you have to do. Or you just show up or, you know, just knowing you can take what you want from it.
Amanda Testa (07:25):
And there's going to be such an opportunity for depth and connection. And I just feel so excited about it. Cause I know for myself, I was wanting something like this, which is why we all three had this calling. And it was so funny. Cause one morning we're like, I've been thinking about this and I drew this card around collaboration and I love what it says. It says collaboration brings more sweetness into my life and into the world. And I love that. And so thrilled to be doing this and to be able to receive and to give and to support one another and the world in so doing.
Rachel Sizemore (07:57):
I love what you're touching on here, Amanda. And it just like even want to tease it out further that like we're so intentionally creating a space for you to connect with you and connect with others. This isn't a place where you need to read or watch videos or catch up or learn. And granted those spaces are great and sometimes we want to learn, but generally we're like maybe in a, in a time of life where we're overconsuming information potentially, and this feels like an offering a circle that's really about, Hey, how do we create loving community and come together in this time? And also each one of our modalities is intentionally going to be held for you to connect in with you. So over this busy time where we're going to have holidays, we're going to have the start of the new year. Generally. It's really easy to be up and, you know, taking care of family and work stuff and getting gifts and all that stuff. And this circle is intended to be a space for you to drop, to pause, to let all of those other concerns fall away and be you be with you And be, be witnessed and witness others in the living space.
Amanda Testa (09:00):
Yes. Okay. Kit, Would you like to add something there as well?
Kit Murray Maloney (09:04):
Oh, I just, I'm loving all of it. I love what we're putting out there and feeling into the group. That's joining us and to expand on what Rachel is saying. You know, we talked a lot about how this is really a container of an experience. And so we've all done many courses and we love that. And you gain so much from that, but this is a group that's coming together to have an individual and shared experience with one another through these three modalities. And it just struck me in talking, the three of us have known each other for a long time now. And there has been a time on each of our paths where we were hesitant, skeptical, nervous, anxious about the very modality that we are now stepping into guiding others through. And so no matter where you are on your awareness of what is breath work, don't I breathe all day?
Kit Murray Maloney (09:56):
What the heck is Yoni steaming? We can get into that a little more detail. And what are these pleasure practices about, you know, what does it mean this nap that I can take or this Jade Egg insertion, you know, that seems like quite a range of possibilities. And so we're also here to hold space for that inquiry and for that curiosity. So I think a thread throughout our years together as individuals and as a triad has been allowing ourselves to follow where these pains of curiosity have been felt even if not, especially at the frustration of our logical minds. So, so if you're listening and this is the invitation is to check in with the ping of curiosity and to allow that to maybe take the driver's seat and this inquiry around whether or not it's the aligned fit for you to join us in this experience.
Amanda Testa (10:56):
You know, one thing that you mentioned that just for some reason, pinged this in me, is that kind of, what is this all about? And, you know, I think for many people out there, and I know many of you listening, there is a connection to a practice that supports you, whatever that may be. And sometimes we just want a space where we can just go practice and I have yet to see the studio exist, which I hopefully will one day, or you can go in and do these types of practices in person, obviously right now with COVID we can't necessarily do that anyway. So this is an opportunity to know, like you would go to the gym, like you would go to a yoga class yet these opportunities for this type of work, it's, it's different. It's a little deeper, but you know, people always ask, well, why, if I have an hour, would I do something like this when I could go to the gym or take a walk or wha tnot, and what I want to share around that, and I would love to, for you to, to share that's what I found in my own experience.
Amanda Testa (11:46):
And in that of my clients and the women that I work with is that there is something about connecting in a group where you have a shared intention that just magnifies it as well as when you do these deeper practices where you're really just connecting with yourself. It's not like you have a specific goal. You're just allowing what is to be, and to process through you is the most rejuvenating healing thing. And so you can, you know, it's not like necessarily where you go and do a specific class that you have to go do the specific things like yes, there's guidance and there's instruction and you get to make it your own, which I think is so beautiful and doing it in a group, just expands the support and the connection and having that feeling like we're not in this alone, right? We're not in this alone.
Amanda Testa (12:29):
We have support. We are around people that have similar goals and dreams and love doing this type of stuff as well. Like that's the thing I love is just being able to do the deeper things, right? The deeper, the stuff that's super fun. So I'd love to hear you to also share your perspective on the embodiment practice and like how this has impacted your life. Like why it feels like such a priority that you make time for and enjoy. It's not like it feels like a, to do, it's like an enjoyment to do.
Rachel Sizemore (12:58):
I can share first. Gosh, embodiment practice circling. It's also good. So I'm the breath work healer. And, and I've been on my breathwork journey for years now and done a daily practice for a long time taken weeks off from my practice. And currently I've been practicing every day and the breath work has been keeping me sane and healthy at moments where like where I live right now, it's hard to get vegetables I'm living in Mexico currently. It's the summer. It's a little bit tricky. So like other parts of my health routine are challenging right now, but breathwork has been this constant. And it, it, as I said, just taps me into my body, to my aliveness, like quiets. My extremely busy mind seems to never shut up except for when I'm doing or after breath work. Not that it always works by the way, mind's are pretty intense, but, but so the practice of doing the breath has been so beautiful and doing it in circle and doing it on my own.
Rachel Sizemore (13:53):
And I, and I want to offer that space for you to experience that. And I will admit to doing very few self-pleasure practices lately, not none but very few. And I have not yni steamed. I have not steamed my yoni since June since I moved to Mexico. So I actually would have been end of may. And these are two practices that I love that have been hugely healing for me, connecting with my Yoni, steaming, pleasure, all of it. And I find it to be challenging to do on my own. And probably most of you listening can relate because we have seasons with things and I don't judge or blame myself for that. But I'm really excited for having this space held because there is something really powerful about having a space holder, a healer who's going to hold the energetic container for you to show up to, for you to be loving to yourself, for you to be conscious. These are the things that we're going to do as, as the healers in space.
Rachel Sizemore (14:52):
And I say, healer is a space holder. So it's like being in that dance for the, I have a regular practice and yeah, like I, I embody and also like I need these kind of communal spaces and to be led in the areas where I have maybe more resistance or just have taken a pause and I'm looking forward to starting again.
Amanda Testa (15:13):
Kit Murray Maloney (15:14):
Yeah, I too was cognizant around today in preparation for gathering to speak to this around just how natural the resistance to healing is. And so these modalities, all three of them have been the conduits for my greatest healing. And I am a quote unquote trained kind of what I was gonna say, expert. That's just sounding odd, but I'm trained in all three of them, right?
Kit Murray Maloney (15:46):
And some other ones and just feeling how amazing it will be as Rachel saying, to be held by somebody else. Who's, who's in the energetic of that healing practice at this time. And it is all fluid. And for me, Yoni, steaming is a medicine I'm putting out into the world and that carries an energetic with it. That's incredibly important for me at this time in my life breath work and pleasure practices have, as I say, also been a result of my greatest healing. And yet there's some sort of resistance thats happening because I'm in resistance to both, even as I dance with them and I incorporate them in when I can and all the rest of it. But when Amanda reached out to Rachel and, I just, I think a couple of days ago, cause when the alignment happens, things just fall into place so quickly that I was such a yes, to being part of the circle, part of the experience in each facets of it because I not in a, Oh right.
Kit Murray Maloney (16:50):
I need to get back into myself, pleasure machine, Oh shit, breathwork, need to do it,but I haven't done it. Those flashed through my mind, but it was really more of a like, Oh yes, I just want to come and be supported in this devotion and have pre carved out this space to be with other women who are also connecting to themselves in this deep, deep way that doesn't have this linear answer of where were you before? And now what has, have you quote, unquote achieved after like maybe going to the gym might do, if you're wearing a watch that calculates your steps taken and calories burned and such, and this is just such a different invitation one in which that I certainly am craving and that we're calling in the others who are craving the intimacy that can happen through looking at the resistance and thinking, yeah, I see you. And I do know that this is really where my heart is leading me towards and that's does matter. And that's usually my journey sort of back to and around the practices that meant so much to me.
Amanda Testa (17:57):
Yeah. And I also will say to that too. I think what you mentioned around the resistance is so, so key. Cause we all have that. And also, you know, when we were talking about who we envision here, it's exactly, as you say, it's just, you want to come and deepen your practice. You wants to come and just be in celebrate being, you know, together with other people and to really feel that holding and know that going to show up exactly as you are. And that's awesome. And it's not going to be overwhelming. You know, it's about three times a month. So super easy and doable, especially now with all that's going on. As you mentioned, Rachel too, with all the, sometimes it seems like there's a lot happening around this time of year. Yet making this time for yourself will help have you feel supported.
Amanda Testa (18:40):
And the more we have that stronger base of support, the more resourced we are, so to speak, then the more we can handle the waves that come, the more we can support the people we love, the more that we have, right. The more capacity. So I think that to feel so key right now, because especially with all this going on, we need to feel resourced. We need to take care of ourselves and it doesn't have to be a hard thing. Like you mentioned, it's not like I haven't done this and I need to do it. It's more like, yeah, this is an invitation to show up for myself and have accountability in that. And that feels really good. Yeah. Yeah. And feel free to, to share too. Cause I want this to be kind of a conversation because this is, you know, it's fun. We were just laughing so hard before we even started. Like, there's also fun too.
Kit Murray Maloney (19:33):
It's not serious. I mean, I I'm. So with you, I think that what comes through for me with these practices in particular is the inevitable mind game of, is there time? Is this going to matter enough? And every single time it is wonderful and expansive. And that doesn't mean that there's always a direct, you know, we're probably the first people to say, there's not a certainty to any experience and any practice, whether it's yoga, running, taking a bath, all these things that feel really good and can have these huge impacts on your life. It doesn't happen every time. So I'm not like making a guarantee. What I do feel is, is the truth for me is that when we allow ourselves to drop into our body, there's an expansion and that expansion ripples through, into my days and that shifts my whole dynamic and the way I walked through how I treatt myself and how I treat the people around me.
Kit Murray Maloney (20:39):
And when I hear myself say these words, it's like, what is more important than all of that? So, yeah. And I think I don't want to be vague either. And when I say like, these are the biggest healing modalities in my life, like I think I would like to invite some more specificity to that dialogue. I mean, these are the practices that I credit with healing decades long held sexual trauma and abuse with healing my relationship, very problematic attached relationship to alcohol for decades. With healing, self forgiveness around a termination of a pregnancy, I mean big life things. I look to these practices and feel and embodied. Thank you. So as much as it is wonderful and beautiful and delightful is the deep fucking work that we're talking about as well.
Rachel Sizemore (21:35):
And so true Kit, thank you so much for sharing those things. And I think Amanda and I both have our list of things, these practicesheal and move and, and yeah, I mean, there's, there's been moments for me where, where I've cried over my, you know, over my Yoni steaming pot, or I've, I've felt completely numb through a pleasure practice and those, those moments could definitely happen. And I think this is like a beautiful moment maybe to talk a little bit more about the modality specifically, cause I know certainly for self pleasure, but definitely for Yoni steaming before I started was like, wait, wait, wait, tell me again, hold on. I'm going to need a third rundown. And it was very for me, high activation energy to start because it feels very, and I don't know if you guys have talked about it on the podcast already, but I think dropping in a little bit on it because it is a little bit new and different or not new as you might explain, but new in our, in our collective consciousness right now. And it's just so freaking Epic.
Amanda Testa (22:33):
Right. I think that's a good idea. And maybe, you know, each one of us could just take a few minutes to share about what the modality is and what it looks like. Right. So people know what they're walking into and how it can support them and why it's such a powerful practice. So yeah. Kit go for it.
Kit Murray Maloney (22:51):
Great. Well, all of this will be available Amanda's website as well, but just to drop you into, we are Blood Breath and Belonging is going to be a three month container of a sisterhood circle experience that allows us to connect with an opening call at the end of October, a closing call at the end of January. And in between there will be a total of nine calls, three on each of our practices. So I'll do three calls that really focus on uterine and menstrual health. And there'll be a Yoni steam practice. And then Rachel is going to do three breathwork sessions. And Amanda will do three self-pleasure sensual sexuality practices.
Kit Murray Maloney (23:39):
As Rachel gave a not to, it's an ancient practice. It goes back to all lands on this earth. And therefore, if you go far enough back, it is part of all of our bloodlines that said, and the revival of Yoni steaming that's happening in the United States right now, I give great credit and reference to indigenous peoples and black women and African American folks for being in the leadership of that revival. There are people particularly in indigenous communities who have an immediate connection to their bloodlines. So there's no lost connection. There's no separation between for me. I have to go back to a great, great, great, great, great grandmother ancestry. For others, it's their mother. They learn to steam through their mother and there hasn't been that, that disconnection. And what is, what does is yoni steaming? In it's simplest form is sitting over some heated water and so that's all you would need is a steam pot, stainless steel pot.
Kit Murray Maloney (24:44):
Anything will do so long as it just doesn't have any chemicals in it and water. And so with that, you sit over the heated water and you drop into the presence with your yoni, with the whole area of your uterus, your vulva, and your vaginal canal with intentional release and gratitude for this part of our body. And I was drawn to it first for the physical benefits for the support of one's cycle. I honestly didn't even know that I really had any issue with my cycle. I thought that mild cramps, most months and severe cramps, maybe two or three times a year were just normal actually felt lucky, but that was sort of quote unquote All I had up with my cycle definitely thought that Brown blood before and after it was completely normal. And then I went to a Yoni steam healer a few years ago and truly out of curiosity had no idea what I was getting into and had this huge emotional breakthrough and that like, Whoa, this is a medicine modality that I need to explore in a lot more depth.
Kit Murray Maloney (25:54):
And since then I've done lots of trainings and a variety of different experiences, how it's led by wonderful women and really have seen the ways in which people are drawn to the practice. Usually through one vertical, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual, and then quickly see benefits in all three. And so we, in our time together for the three yoni steam practices, we'll be doing a Yoni steam, and we may be able to where you may want to further support that steam through buying some aligned herbs and even a steam seat. I would definitely help you with that. Should you choose to buy it from Kitara? And I've been thinking about this, we haven't talked about this, but I would like to offer everybody who joined us an online consultation. So I know where you're at in your journey with your cycle, because yoni steaming is a beautiful practice for people of any age.
Kit Murray Maloney (26:52):
And so it's not just for bleeding women. There are postmenopausal women who are steamin and having these incredible, incredible experiences, particularly around remembrance and particularly around this invitation to be deeply connected. And in reverence to this part of our body, even when our culture says for outrageous reasons that it's somehow no longer important and we will steam. And there's a likelihood that some folks on the call won't actually steam because there are some Contra indications, one being while bleeding, you are not wanting to steam while you're actually menstruating. So if it happens that one of our calls is when you're bleeding, that's totally cool. I've been to and circles where I've been Contra indicated and that time together we'll have 75 minutes for each of these practices will be a time that's really held in juicy delightful, sisterhood around connecting to our womb space.
Kit Murray Maloney (27:52):
And so we will be fluid with it, but there will be music and, and prayer and intention and sharing and consultation with me and questions around anything that's coming up is very welcome in our time together, we probably won't steam for longer than 15 minutes, which is the recommended time for most folks. Some folks will be recommended to steam for longer, but some folks won't. So we don't want to see you for too long for anybody. So all to say that it's an ancient practice, it's a wonderful practice. I'm so grateful to it's revival. And it's something that if you are feeling the pings toward, I will guide you through the how to questions that your mind is inevitably racing on. Now through the course of this experience that we have together, and there's plenty of time, purposely from signing up to the first yoni steam gathering, we'll have to allow for that support to come through and make sure that if you do want extra products, you have them in time and all of that will be nurtured and you really don't have to worry about it.
Kit Murray Maloney (28:59):
I've definitely got you on all of those questions that are circling through. And just a final note, I just want to speak to this time of year. One of the things that feels really powerful to me about blood breath and bones is that there's something really rich around this time of year. We're going from autumn into winter. This is the pre menstruation, the luteal time in the way in which that the seasons mirror our cycles, and we're going into the winter, the blood time, the menstrration season. And there is a way in which women's bodies open and bleeding times to the receptivity of ancestral messages. And so when I talk about this being a spiritual practice, that is one way in which I have felt it. I have received this connection to my, my grandmother's, my great grandmothers. Great, great, great grandmothers who I haven't technically known that I have felt through this journey. And I've really been able to deepen into the web of the connectivity amongst all women, amongst all bleeding people. And so I will take a positive, the other modalities can go, know I've got you. We can jam on yoni steaming, we will have epic experiences with yoni steaming, and don't worry about all the Q&As. It's really not that complicated. And I'm certified and trained to guide you.
Amanda Testa (30:25):
Thank you so much. And we'll also just FYI in a couple of times we mentioned the website, but there's going to be a lot of information there too. And so we'll share that at the end, but how you can find out more, but yes, Rachel share more about breathwork.
Rachel Sizemore (30:36):
I just feel inspired to one of the things you said, kit, thank you for sharing. All of that is around like most people come for one thing and then receive more and just sharing quickly. That is basically what happened to me. I've had a lot of issues of my cycle, really terrible cramps. I'd say it was like the main reason that I really want to start steaming. And what ended up happening was like a beautiful piece of my trauma healing, where on my journey with trauma and sexual healing, I dealt with a lot of numbness, a lot of pain in my yoni and a lack of sexual desire.
Rachel Sizemore (31:09):
And I really felt like, and I went to Yoni steaming to work on my cramps, but you know, it's all really second chakra. . And Yoni steaming really was an integral piece of healing, feeling my numbness, and like feeling, bringing sensation back to my Yoni. So as intimidating as it was to start, I'm so grateful that I did it. And of course, what you speak to about ancestral and spiritual connections. Like there's so many layers as there are to all these practices, but I just wanted to share that bit about my own yoni steaming journey.
Amanda Testa (31:39):
I'll just share it too with that. It just feels so amazing as well. Just the whole process. It's so gentle. And I did just one other thing I wanted to point out for anyone who's listening is like, well, I don't bleed, or I don't have my uterus anymore. You totally can still do all these practices. There's energetic, a very powerful, energetic space there. And there's still so many cycles that as women, we are connected to, even if we're not bleeding, so just know it's still, you know, it's still, it's perfect for you as well. Yeah. All right, Rachel.
Rachel Sizemore (32:07):
Yes, absolutely love that for all of these practices. So breath work again. Can, can give us a range. All of these practices can have us a range of experiences can meet us on the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual levels. One of the reasons why I find breath to be particularly powerful medicine right now is it's very helpful for anxiety and depression, which I think is in the field pretty heavily right now, as we're going into election season. And as we're going into this, you know, this whole year with 2020, and COVID just waves of bigness of intensity that we're moving through and breath work is a really powerful modality for feeling the things that we're stuffing down when we're busy, when we're trying to get by, we don't necessarily take the time to feel. Like, Oh, it hurts my heart that this is happening or that this person's been sick or that I've been lonely or whatever.
Rachel Sizemore (33:01):
So all of these modalities are great place to feel your feelings, but breathwork is a particularly beautiful space for that. So I'm really excited for that piece to like help us work through this holiday season, like supporting the bits that feel anxious, that feel depressed, that are struggling with how hard this time has been. Breathwork is really a space where we can like just tenderly hold ourselves in those feelings, which I love. And what I love about it too, is the breath ,does the work it's it's so it's, it's probably just, I think maybe the, the, the good entry point, which is why it's week one or week two, it's the first practice, because all you have to do is lay there and breathe. And however much oxygen you can bring in the breath will literally do the work for you. Your spirit, your breath, your body will show you what's ready to be felt what's ready to be moved. What more aliveness you can invite in. So it's, it can be simple in that way. We will not call it easy. And also, you know, it's called breathwork. There will be at least one moment you curse my existence, probably multiple, but then mostly at the end, you'll think the, I think,
Amanda Testa (34:05):
Oh yes. Oh my goodness. I love you. And Rachel is the most amazing breathwork facilitator as well. I love her classes and I just want to reflect too with what you said about how healing it can be like so much, we're not even aware of. And I like that's, what's so amazing about breath work is you don't have to go into any story. You don't have to, you know, you just allow your body, this gentle opportunity to release and to feel and to move it through and bring in like that fresh breath and that fresh energy to where it needs to go. It's amazing. And then nine times out of 10 people at the end of the session will be like, Oh my God, I feel so good. It's like everything. The world is more alive. You know, all those things. Yeah.
Rachel Sizemore (34:45):
I mean, I've been on my breathwork journey. I dunno for like about five years now. And I, I haven't been, I don't know. I didn't draw the map. I don't know how I got here, but I know for sure, if you breathe more, you will heal. If you breed more, you will love more. If you breed more, you will be happier. It may take five years and they do five minutes. I don't know your soul gets to decide that, but I know without a doubt, if you breathe more, you will love more. If you breath more, there will be more joy. And so wherever you are in that is beautiful.
Amanda Testa (35:16):
And I love how you mentioned that too. Like, you'll feel more love, you'll have more joy. And at the end of the day, I feel like that's what the invitation for all of this is, is a deeper connection to love a deeper connection to how we are all connected and how, you know, at the end of the day, we can find pleasure in whatever it is that we're experiencing, all the emotions, whatever. There's an opportunity to transmute that and to really fully experiencing it in a way that feels supportive, even when it doesn't look like it sometimes. So, I mean, I think that's too, what I love about the pleasure practice. And, specifically for this program, I'm going to be offering Jade Egg sessions, which, that might seem intimidating, but just know you don't even have to have a Jade egg. You don't have to use an egg, you can just do the practices energetically, like really this is a meet you where you are type of thing.
Amanda Testa (36:02):
And so know, for those of you out there who have maybe a Jade egg and they're like, Oh, I'm so excited to deepen my practice, I don't even know what to do with it. So I am excited to learn, or maybe you want one. And again, there's all that information on the website. If I don't get one before we start, I can totally help you there. But again, it's that opportunity for you to connect to yourself deeply to honor whatever's present and to invite the possibility of more sensation of more pleasure of more expansion of what's good. And whatever's there to be cool with it and to really be on that journey. And so really what a Jade Egg practice looks like. It's honestly, so it's a lot of dropping in meditation. There's probably around 20, 30 minutes working with the egg and then, you know, that's and there's integration time.
Amanda Testa (36:47):
So it's really a beautiful practice and people are always wondering like, well, what does it look like? That's kind of a basic overview. And, you know, typically what I hear at the end of a session is so amazing. I've never felt that connected to myself. I love myself in a whole new way or wow. I didn't notice what I didn't notice, or maybe I just had a lot of numbess, and celebrating that, you know, that's really the thing about your sensuality is however it is right in this moment is perfect. So really the intention is for you to celebrate it, celebrate the numbness, celebrate the disconnection, celebrate just that you're showing up and being open to having this communion with yourself, like bareing yourself to yourself being so, you know, this is just for you and no one sees you on these calls. Like it's a webinar style. So you have your privacy, you know, just know that too. It's not like people see you or hear you. No one does. And so there's a lot of privacy and comfort. So just know that too.
Kit Murray Maloney (37:46):
Yeah. We might see you Rachel and mine. You can turn off you camera.
Amanda Testa (37:56):
What I like to invite people to do. It's at the beginning. And at the end, if you want to pop on, we can like open. I can open the panel for everyone to join and then turn it back off. So there's a way to, you know, as much as you want
Kit Murray Maloney (38:07):
I love the way you hold space in these practices, there is a connectivity that I feel like that we're going to be on a webinar. Those words don't translate to (laughing), I wanted to chine in there], it's so much richer, so much connected with people who are on the call live, then what that little sound bite might convey.
Amanda Testa (38:28):
You for pointing that out. I know that sounds, I guess what I mean by that is just that you have your privacy and that's what
Kit Murray Maloney (38:36):
I mean. Yeah, exactly. We're all trying to convey is that we, we hold all of what people are bringing in a really special, intentional and sacred way. So where you come is how you show up is, is health. And so we have already thought through things like concern around being heard or being seen, and there will be so many options for folks to be able to guide themselves through the traces that are best for them. And what came through for me and listening to speaking about breathwork and self-pleasure is that, you know, in some ways I thought we should just call this a consciousness raising group. It's a little seventies ish, then like that's also really what we're doing. And we're just using these practices that have meant so much to us as a way to facilitate our consciousness rasing. And so that's something that is just so juxtaposed to so many of our other self care practices in our culture.
Kit Murray Maloney (39:41):
Right now, these are integrated with intentionally looking. Now I'm going to go into this breath work space with, in devotion to, you know, exploring why in such a cranky mood right now. You know what I mean? It can be something that simple and then having it be unearthed something way deeper than we just did not have awareness of. And same goes with self-pleasure same goes with Yoni steaming. These are practices in which we do not need, but can, and often do receive messages that it's time for us to expand or shift in ways we just had no awareness of before going into them. And that's one of the ways in which I think they're so powerful.
Amanda Testa (40:26):
I love that. And I think too, you know, one of the things we talked about is how really the blood breath and belonging piece, why we came up with that name is because these are all such integral pieces. And as you know, Vulva bodied people, we have this opportunity to use our bodies as a creative, you know, as a creative force. And so, however that looks for you, but I truly believe the more we connect and, and feel comfortable and whole in our own bodies, the easier it is to let that expand. And so it's an opportunity to tap into that and I feel the more we can awaken and own and these parts of ourselves that have been so shamed and stunted forever, that the more where we're free to shine and be vibrant and outrageous and all the things that were meant to be right, and to stand up for what we believe in. And I love to say that awakened pussies smash the patriarchy because they do. And that's like, yes, we want that. We have power and we can cultivate it in a way that feels good and doable. And it's so fun. Yeah. Go ahead. Rachel.
Rachel Sizemore (41:30):
I just wanted to name one thing too, just from my, with experiened of doing self-pleasure practices in group settings and as a community, just as we're getting energized about the pussies taking down the patriarchy and talking about the parts of us that are shamed, that feel shame and that are shamed in our culture. For sure. For me, it was an edge, even being a webinar's style to like be on have my headset, have Amanda like guiding me through touching myself sensually, I was like, like looking around is, is the priest going to pop out and wagged his finger at me, Catholic upbringing? Here it is. Right. So like, just naming that I had discomfort, I had shame, I had this piece. That's like, am I allowed to do this? And it came in and out, like we I've done many practices with you virtually Amanda and in her. So Epic and wonderful. And there'd be days where the shame was present and I didn't have much pleasure and there'll be days where I was like, Oh, I'm amazing.
Rachel Sizemore (42:30):
And I felt so embodied and great, but just, I think the more we can name it and you were alluding to it already, Amanda, that like it exists in the field. This are, we allowed to, to have pleasure where other people are kind of in the space, you know, as we've said, it will be private. You won't be seen, but you know, there's a group component to it and it's like, yes, we're allowed. And it's actually awesome, secret = It's amazing. If you can allow yourself to play to, to just tiptoe in and, and be in group energetic pleasurable space. It's, it's great. I mean, of course your body, you may experience numbness. You may experience pain, but as Amanda saying, she holds that like an invitation to hold accept, even enjoy whatever part of your experience you're on. And as we're all sitting in the frequency of all of you as welcome, whatever your experience is, is so beautiful.
Rachel Sizemore (43:20):
You can ride that the group energy can maybe help you hold yourself in new ways and experience new things. It's like, there's actually something to the group alchemy in all of these practices. And specifically in group pleasure practices.,
Amanda Testa (43:33):
I totally agree there because I think part of it, it helps to heal those shame pieces. It's like, what if our culture celebrated you and your full orgasmic pleasure and encouraged that and said, yes, yes, allow yourself enjoy it. Surrender even more. It is so good, you know, our culture doesn't teach us that. So we have to be, we have to reteach ourselves because it's, it's a memory that we all have access to. We just have to dust off the layers of conditioning oftentimes. And so these practices are a beautiful way. Like all of them are such a beautiful way to reconnect to your original essence, that blueprint of your vibrancy. That's already there. Yeah. Go ahead Kit.
Kit Murray Maloney (44:12):
It's intentional thatWe're hosting these as live calls together. Even if not, especially the pleasure onens, right. I love how Rachel is like "secret. It's amazing" I wish you could see her the way she is smiling. It totally. And it is a secret, you know, it is not something that's wildly discussed or maybe not even one body. And I do share like the first time I had Amanda lead this group that I was in as like, even though I had scheduled, it asked for it, there were like a dozen women showed up and it was incredible as, as it always is. Just what a paradigm shift to gather for these practices together, live in community with one another. This is the type of stuff that just like not only turns me on, but just gives me great hope for the direction in which we can take ourselves in these otherwise really challenging and struggling times
Amanda Testa (45:19):
It's so funny, an inquiry I was given today. It was have to read it again so I can remember exactly how it went, but it was a what, small, doable way. What's small doable things create a feeling of pleasurable connection. Can you bring in? And, and so it was funny. Cause one of the things I realized with COVID then I'm really missing is being around a lot of people, you know, rubbing up a lot, a lot of against a lot of other different bodies, being at concerts, doing all the things, you know, running naked down the beach with all my witchy sisters, like all the things that we can't do right now, as easily as we once could. And so I think that's why I just am so thrilled to have this togetherness. Right. And it feels really good. So with that being said, is there anything else that either of you would like to add before we close Kit, maybe you want to share the things that you shared, like what you were talking about in the beginning. Like here's what I want
Kit Murray Maloney (46:11):
Because I also, I feel that now, so, in feeling into this, we wanted to make sure we were aligned and intentional around how we wanted folks to feel when they leave our practices. And at the end of January, and these three things came really clearly to me and they're present with me right now, cause this is after after this is how I feel after having conversations like this, which is that women are freaking amazing. And when we come together and I mean all women to be inclusive of feminine identified people and you, anybody folks and this feminine energy and intentionality of what we're creating and when we come together and when they're just invitations and collaborations, it flows in with this clicking into place, ease. And this magnificence that I have found abundant when it comes with circling with women. And I find it a specialnessn being with women that I'm reminded that by being with women in a way that I haven't found elsewhere. And so that is one of the things that I can see us all leaving just like Holy smokes, women are incredible. And then for us also to really be tapped into the remeberance and truth that our bodies are absolutely Incredible, magnificent, divine, foundational aspects of our experience in this lifetime and that they are gifts for us to explore and celebrate and their magnificence just knows no bounds. And I feel that in this conversation, just in exploring these three modalities, it's wild like, we bleed we breathe we orgasm. Like these are incredible things that we get to experience by deep in human form right now. And we get to celebrate that and that is such a joyous thing. And then finally that because of all of this, this inner knowing this ability to trust and surrender into the truth that we simultaneously don't know shit, and we know that things are going to be okay. That when we come back into ourselves and when we do that in community with women, we can sit with our backs up straight and rest on the truth that this world is going to be. Okay. And that's everything right now. So
Amanda Testa (48:39):
Thank you so much Kit. Yeah. feel that so deeply. Gosh, Rachel, did you have any, any last words?
Rachel Sizemore (48:47):
Yeah, the last thing I'll say, thank you for sharing those Kit, feel so good is just, just to, just to drop us all into like, if this is for you, you know, you know, and you are so, so welcome, just naming that you might feel a little fear or shame or a curiosity that's bordering on is, ah, I don't know. Or, you know, you may find that that one practice isn't right and perfect fit in this moment. And, and, and we just want to hold all of that. Any shame you have is welcome. Any fear, any excitement, any curiosity, any trepidation, and invite you to really come back to your heart and just check in, Hey, is this for you? Are you meant to be here with us? And if you are, we're so happy to have you join and really want you to know that like all of you is welcome. All of you is loved. All of you is held wherever you are on the journey with any or all of these practices. This space is for those who are, who are called to be here. And, and you're so, so welcome and so loved wherever, wherever you are.
Amanda Testa (49:54):
Yes. Thank you so much, Rachel. Well, I'm so thrilled and I just have to say too, one of the things, sometimes I think that this type of work can give me, which I mentioned earlier, it's kind of like this, it's like this magical cloak I can put on and go out into my world with like these special secrets and connected, connected to my own magic and resourcefulness and resilience. And so then I have this magical cloak that I go out into my world into my day and all the things that come at me don't hit as hard, or I have better resilience to like move through them. And I just think that is a needed thing right now. So for all of you listening, yes. If you feel a call, this is calling your name or you're curious, then you can find more. You can go to www.Amandatesta.com/bbb for blood breath and belonging.
Amanda Testa (50:42):
So three B's and there you can find all the info and it's going to be starting on October 29th. So again, we would love to have you, and yet just as well to know, like these practices are available to you and any time that you want to learn more, if now's not, it there's always time. So just know this invitation is now because we feel this is so needed. And so, yeah. Thank you all for listening and thank you so much, Rachel and Kit, and two you'll find, if you want to find out more about Rachel and Kit, all that information will to be on the website. Www.Rachelsizemore.Com is how you can find Rachel. She also has a lovely podcast called Ripen and Kit. You can find at www.kitaralove.com So that's how, if you want to find out more about all of us, you can do that and we will hopefully see you in the circle. And thank you all. Talk to you next week.
Amanda Testa (51:40):
Thank you so much for listening to the Find your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa. And if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden invitation. I invite you to reach out. You can contact me www.amandatesta.com/activate, And we can have a heart to heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook and the group find your feminine fire group. And if you've enjoyed this podcast, please share with your friends, go to iTunes and give me a five star rating and a raving review. So I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself. Thank you so much for being a part of the community.