Getting the R.E.S.P.E.C.T you deserve in relationships with
Dr. Veronica Anderson
Why do so many high-performing professionals struggle to get the respect and appreciation they deserve?
If you are looking to create rewarding, fulfilling, and respectful relationships in all areas of your life, you're in the right place.
Joining us today is Dr. Veronica Anderson, a physician, a coach, and a best-selling author of numerous books including Get the Respect You Deserve.
She has a very unique perspective because she blends medicine, psychology, corporate consulting as well as she is a psychic, so she has this amazing lens with which she helps high-achieving professionals cultivate successful careers, healthy habits, and relationships where they get the respect they deserve.
She uses tools such as Psychic Intuitive Energy Readings, the Kolbe Index, and Human Design to help people deeply understand their spiritual nature, instincts, and intuition and how to use them to get what they want in their careers and in romance.
Tune in to discover:
-Dr. Veronica's process to feel seen, feel heard, and feel appreciated.
- How she went from being an eye surgeon to a spiritual guide and a transformational coach.
-How can individuals gain a better understanding of themselves and their beliefs?
-What is the Kolbe and what is Human Design, and how Dr. Veronica uses them to help people understand themselves better.
- How do you build self trust, and why is it important?
And much more.
Complete transcript below.
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Physician, Intuitive Guide and Relationship Coach Dr. Veronica Anderson is the bestselling author of 4 books, including“Get the Respect You Deserve: 7 Secrets to Getting Seen and Heard in Your Job and Relationships.” Dr. Veronica transitioned from her own private practice as an Eye Surgeon to a Spiritual Guide & Transformational Coach, delivering individual and group programs to help her clients overcome strange, rare, and peculiar issues. Using her intuitive skills and signature R.E.S.P.E.C.T Method, Dr. Veronica guides high-achieving professional women on making successful career, health, and relationship transitions by learning how to become their beautiful authentic selves. She uses tools such as Psychic Intuitive Energy Readings, the Kolbe Index, and Human Design to help people deeply understand their spiritual nature, instincts, and intuition and how to use them to get what they want in their careers and in romance.
Dr. Veronica Anderson began her medical career as an Eye Surgeon after graduating from Princeton University and Rutgers Medical School (with honors). She now has the distinction of being both a licensed physician and a practicing psychic. Dr. Veronica is an Integrative Medicine Physician, certified in Functional Medicine and trained in Homeopathy.
In her programs, Dr. Veronica uses her gifts and talents to help people with strange, rare, and peculiar issues who feel like they just haven’t gotten answers or results from strategies they have tried previously. She provides guidance to her clients, who receive clarity, validation, and confirmation, which decreases fear and increases confidence.
Dr. Veronica hosted her own podcast and AM radio show for several years and has appeared on national television as well as multiple syndicated radio shows and podcasts. She is a 3rd Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do who splits her time living in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, Harlem, New York City, and Nice, France, with her husband and two dogs, Artemis and Apollo. Find more and grab her book HERE.
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EPISODE 266: Dr. Veronica Anderson
[Fun, Empowering Music]
Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!
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Hello and welcome everyone! Why do so many high-performing professionals struggle to get the respect and appreciation they deserve? If you are looking to create rewarding and fulfilling, respectful relationships in all areas of your life, you're in the right place. So, listen up!
Joining us today -- I’m so excited -- I’m talking with Dr. Veronica Anderson. She is a physician, a coach, and a best-selling author of numerous books including Get the Respect You Deserve. So, she has a very unique perspective because she blends medicine, psychology, corporate consulting as well as she is a psychic, so she has this amazing lens with which she helps high-achieving professionals cultivate successful careers, healthy habits, and relationships where they get the respect they deserve.
So, we are gonna be diving into all kinds of juicy things today! Welcome, Dr. Veronica. I’m so happy to be with you here today.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Thank you for having me! I’m delighted, and I was excited to be here, too, with the type of audience you have. So, let’s get into really juicy stuff!
Amanda Testa: Yes, yes! Well, one of the things I think is so interesting, which I’m sure you probably get this question a lot being that you went to Princeton, and you were an eye surgeon and then you kind of transformed into a spiritual guide and a transformational coach.
I’d love if you’d share a little bit of your story around that, if you wouldn't mind.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: So, people like to ask, “Well, when did you know that you were a psychic?” Okay, so you realize that there are some people and you’ve met these people and that’s their only calling and their only -- not only, but that’s their main ability and it’s been in their family, you know what I’m saying? They have this story of, “I’ve always been like this,” and they give you all the kind of strange things that happen to them. It wasn't like that. That’s not my story. Of course it’s not my story. [Laughs]
Amanda Testa: [Laughs]
Dr. Veronica Anderson: And there’s a lot of people who are in your audience, that’s not going to be their story either. They're gonna have a different story. So, these abilities were there, but I never realized that there was anything different about me until well into adulthood and well past being a doctor in practice actually.
But when I look back on it, I realize that I was using those intuitive abilities to even help me, when I was in medical school, diagnosing strange and rare illnesses, and everybody thought, “Oh, my god, she’s so smart and she’s so brilliant!”
Now, I will admit, yes, I do have an Ivy League degree. I did go to medical school and graduate with honors, and I knew how to take a test, okay? That part of the brain works really well. That cognitive part is very strong, but that is not the same thing as what the spiritual thing that’s going on is, and I’m sure your audience knows that.
So, I realized, yes, I knew how to work the cognitive, and I have one of those kinds of memories. I can just pull things out, but also, I can read energy. I can assess energy because that’s what this is all about, assessing people’s energy fields.
And that allowed me to know the answers a lot, to what was going on to people when they had some kind of illness or injury or problem, like, in a nanosecond. I mean, in a nanosecond these answers would come in. So, when you're in medical school, you can take the test but then when they try to screw you to the wall and give you the difficult case, you just can seem to answer the difficult case to the point where they stop wanting to call on you because they know you're gonna know the answer. And I realized back then that this was what I was doing. I wasn't getting it out of my left brain. I was getting it from someplace else, but this is a debrief after I thought about what happened in my life.
So, what happened, yes, I was a smart kid, and my mom, a Black woman, ended up going to college after we went to school but was always very -- they used to call her the Jewish mother, okay? [Laughs] Because when they would ask her what she wanted her children to be or what are her children gonna be, she’d be like, “That’s the doctor, and that’s the lawyer.”
And so, I have a lot of friends who are Jewish, and they’ll talk like that, and I’ll say, “They used to call my mom the Jewish mother.” And what does that really mean? It means my mother had a vision for me and my sister. That’s all we’re talking about, and I think it’s important to have a vision for your life and for the life of your kids when they're young.
So, my mother realized that I was smart, I had this ability, and she’s the one that said, “You're really smart.” We lived in New Jersey, and she’d be like, “Let me take you by Princeton.” I don't know how she knew about it. But I was supposed to get there. [Laughs]
But to fast forward to it, I had started my own medical practice, double digits thousands of patients. I was working. I was part time, other doctors working for me, making almost a million dollars a year, married to a guy who was an investment banker who was my college sweetheart, but yet, I became miserable.
I had everything, from a physical standpoint, that people say you're supposed to have, but yet, there was something not right to me, and I could not put my finger on it.
I felt like I was supposed to be someplace, doing something else, being with somebody else, and this is a time where I’m running my own practice, I’m going to church, and I’m teaching Sunday school, and it’s like, “Oh, my god,” you know? I have three sons by this point, and I’m feeling like I can’t stand this from a perspective. Now, I felt incredibly blessed and lucky and everything to be where I was, but there was something else that I was hungering for.
And so, I became clinically depressed because I felt so bad, and people would tell me I just didn't know how to be happy. I didn't walk around, and people thought that I was unhappy. But I had this suffering feeling, and I felt shame and guilt. Shame and guilt is the thing of illness. I felt shame and guilt for even feeling that way because here I am walking around in a very, very privileged life feeling like this is not it, okay?
So, one day -- it really was like this. I kind of planned my escape. One day I just decided to jump out of that. I went to my husband, and I said, “I don't want to be married anymore,” and I didn't want to practice medicine anymore, and I don't ever want to go back to church. I just got up the courage one day, and it wasn't easy to do this, and I broadsided my ex-husband because we didn't really have a bad marriage. I wasn't cheated on. All the stories that you hear where people make the other person the bad guy, we didn't have any of that.
And so, I like to tell this story because I know there’s somebody else out there who’s feeling like, “Yeah, everything looks perfect, but I understand what you're talking about.” I just got the courage up one day to get out, and that, of course, started that journey of severe depression. Now, think about it. I’m a doctor. I’m running around, owning my own practice, got kids, being a wife. Ugh, I was burnt out bad, and I was burnt out bad because I’m not meant to work like that from my spiritual design (my Human Design). We can get into that. I’m a visionary. I wasn't being visionary doing the same thing every day all day. I loved my patients, from a people perspective. I hated the practice of medicine because it was very limiting. I couldn't stand going to church because the way they were teaching spiritual principles I thought were all wrong and the interpretations were wrong.
I’m like, “No, I’m not a sinner. No, I’m not,” right? So, they tell you this negative narrative that I didn't believe in, never ever, ever, but you're supposed to believe in it, and if you don't you're going straight to hell, okay?
I became depressed with all that because at the same time that I was having it -- very salient that I had these abilities. It just started to become very salient that I knew things that other people didn't know with no physical rhyme or reason. Now, what do I do with this? Who do I talk to? So, I crashed and burned. But you know when they say your worst day ends up being your best day? There was the day I walked into -- I told my husband I was moving out, I bought a new house, and I went back to the house, and in that house my former husband -- and we were still married at the time.
Divorce papers were not even signed at that time. There was another woman in my house. [Laughs] And that day I went and I started hitting them both, and I was like everything I’ve learned up to this point, everything I’ve learned in school, everything I’ve learned in church, everything I’ve learned had not prepared me for that point because I know if there would have been a gun, there would have been dead people and I would be in jail.
That was that moment that I realized before I got depressed and was like, “I’m leaving,” but the moment I realized something has got to change, I’ve got to figure out a new way, a new paradigm for life. Because I did that, here I am talking about this, and I love talking about it now because, first of all, you can get out of this.
You think when you're in a circumstance that you can't get out of it and there’s not gonna be support for it, and there are all kinds of people -- the people in the church abandoned me. Friends abandoned me. But guess what? Everything got stripped away so I could walk into this new life, and it was painful walking into a new life not knowing, feeling abandoned, feeling alone, but that was truly being born again. Starting over, new friends, now I have a new husband. We’ve been married for a while now, but when you decide to take that step and move forward, the universe will provide.
That was the day that I trusted myself, really the first time, to step out and say, “There is something else out there before me, and I’m gonna believe there’s something else out there before me.”
But it doesn't come real quick all the time because your muscles of trust and belief have not been exercised, so until you learn how to exercise those muscles, things aren’t going to come quick and it’s gonna be painful. This is how I ended up getting to, now, my fourth book, the book about respect because the respect came to me -- you know, these things start coming in dreams. People talk about they’re not being respected, but what does that actually mean? I see doctors talk about it. I see women, men, everybody. “They don't respect me.” Sometimes my husband now will say, “You don't respect me,” and I’m like, “What does he mean?” What it means not to be respected is you don't feel seen, you don't feel heard, you don't feel appreciated.
Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: “You don't see, hear, or appreciate me.” Yeah, so how do you get seen, heard, and appreciated? Well, I am a doctor, so there’s a process for that!
Amanda Testa: Yeah.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: And that’s where The Respect Method comes in. So, ask me anything you want. Ask me something hard and juicy, though. Let's get deep. [Laughs]
Amanda Testa: Yes, well, I just want to reflect back on that story because I think a lot of people, especially when they're depressed, they can't make those steps forward no matter how hard it may be, but there was that something inside of you that led you to keep moving forward to find trust. And I love that trust piece because you also mentioned -- I think there are a lot of people out there who often maybe have that experience of feeling unseen, unheard, unappreciated. Especially I know there are a lot of busy, high-achieving, working mamas and all kinds of people listening to the podcast that sometimes feel that way. I mean, I even just hear -- well, when we’re recording this episode, Mother’s Day was just happening, and I have seen all kinds of posts about people feeling super unappreciated on Mother’s Day, which I think that just goes to show there are ways to come back to that trust. And so, I’m curious. There are a couple things I want to ask.
Number one, I know trust is an important thing, and it’s also a big part of your framework, but what do you think helps you connect to that trust? Tell me how you’re able to do that.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: As I’ve said, it’s a muscle. So, the first thing you have to realize is you have to have faith in the universe and the process that it wants you -- you are deemed to have success and an abundant life. It’s an underlying belief. Now, if you don't believe that, think about how hard it is just for any human being to be born. Now, as a doctor, I know everything that can go wrong, and I know the stats of -- there are people out there who have had difficulties with fertility. There are people out there who have had miscarriages, but even people who haven’t been through that, that you don't know, there’s been a lot that has happened to get you here. So, you are already meant to be here, and you are a success. So, right there you know, “Okay, I’m supposed to be here for something. Now, what is it?”
So, you’ve got to start with that premise of knowing it, and you may have not ever heard this before today because you happen to be born into that spiritually-challenging family, which told you all kinds of other things that were negative about you. And I’ve got to tell you, like I said, this is one of the reasons I stopped going to church, because they were trying to tell me negative things about me that I just knew weren't true. And so, I’m like, “I ain’t sitting here and listening to this anymore,” right? I mean, they used to call me rebellious and a jezebel because I would say, “Why?” and ask questions and not believe some of the doctrine.
Now, as I’ve gone along further in life and decided not to look at institutions but to look at text, there are different interpretations that come down when it’s you and the universe versus somebody telling you what you're supposed to believe.
There are universal truths out there that run through lots of spiritual text, including the Judeo, Christian, Islamic, the three main texts. The truths are there, but what happens with these texts is we allow other people to interpret them for us when what is really supposed to happen is it’s you and the universe talking to each other.
And so, this is about how do you flex your muscles, how do you strengthen your muscles? You start to say, “I know there’s a word for me. Where am I gonna go to get that word,” and getting it directly to you versus through somebody says that they have a word and here’s how they can come through signs and wonders, right?
I mean, my coach was teaching about signs and wonders, so there’ll be what you’ll call coincidences where you’ll say something or ask a question and all of a sudden the answer will pop up on a license plate or somebody will say something in a store. So, those are the kinds of things that happen, and my coach was teaching about this, how when you're early on your faith walk, you get these -- there was a book called When God Winks. God winks like that, right? Those are for people on their early faith way.
What happens, then, next is you start to be able to recognize people, places, and things that are giving you messages that know that you're on the path and it’s not so obvious, but then you’ve gotten to the point where your muscles are strong enough and your eyes and your spirit are strong enough that you’re like, “Uh, that’s trying to tell me something. What is it?”
So, one of the things that I think tells us a lot is when you get a strong emotion. So, you're in a relationship, you're talking about sex, and I get some emails and people are ranting and raving about something, well, you're getting a spiritual message.
There’s a reason that you're in a relationship with that person because they are your biggest spiritual teacher. Now, that’s not saying at all you should be in a relationship where you're being abused or beat down. If you're in a relationship and you're being abused or beat down, you need to remove yourself period, end of discussion. Safety first.
Amanda Testa: Yes.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: And then you think about what was it that I did that got me into this circumstance. You have to use the R in respect to reflect, to look in the mirror at yourself and take that radical responsibility, and that was the day that changed my life. I read this book by a physician called Real Love, and I don't remember anything else that book said except there was something that said to the effect that if you are unhappy, it’s you that’s the problem, and I knew intuitively that that was true, that it wasn't anything outside myself, that is was me that was the issue, even though I thought it was him and everything that happened and you all have the story going around, we’re all taught that we’re the victim.
All humans, we’re taught we’re the victim. We live in the Karpman triangle: the victim, the rescuer, and the persecutor. We all live among them. We’re the victim, the rescuer, the persecutor, and that’s all of humanity who’s been taught to live that way. So, you have to teach yourself to live outside of that but you're not going to teach yourself to live outside of that until you decide, “I’m not a victim. I’m gonna be a victor,” period. And then you go to -- not victim. There’s no more victim. You're a creator.
And so, when you take on that role as creator, you look in the mirror and say, “I created this.” No matter how bad it was or what you think somebody is. From the spiritual standpoint, you have a contract with those other souls to bring you to whatever point that was in life, to teach you a lesson on your journey.
And so, you may have had some really horrible things happen to you, and that’s why you really have to do the spiritual soul searching and think about, “Okay, how am I gonna reconcile -- what happened to me --,” and everybody’s got to do this, but only for a short period of time because people stay here. “What is it that I need to work out from a soul level that made me have this particular experience,” no matter how bad it was. You have to say, “What on a soul level am I supposed to learn from this experience,” and then after you do that reflection, you know exactly where you are, and the next step is (a word that nobody likes to hear) forgiveness. The first person you need to forgive is yourself, right, for staying so long, for being whatever you were, for all the things that -- whatever it is. You forgive yourself first, and by forgiving yourself -- because we are the hardest on ourselves -- you learn the process of forgiving other people and accepting other people.
So, first you have to say, “Here I am,” and as Michael Jackson said you’ve got to look at the man in the mirror or the woman in the mirror, and the only person that you can change is you. You have to understand you attracted whatever you have in your life because that was the vibrational frequency you were on at that particular time, and if you want something different, you need to learn how to let go of those things that are not serving you, those low-vibration things (shame, fear, guilt) and move up to what you say that you want. That’s the whole process.
That’s what The Respect Method is about. It’s about going from reflecting to being able to understand yourself, forgiving other people because I gave you a construct. We can talk about this. The Human Design in Kolbe is what I like to use for people to be able to see something and understand something. You get a construct to understand who you are from an instinctual being, from an intuitive being. You also understand imprinting but how your family made you that way and how genetics made you that way. And once you understand that you were meant to be that way and, therefore, now you can learn how to love yourself because the universe made you that way uniquely for a particular reason, then you can realize that, “Well, everybody else is made this way, too, and they're not gonna change.” So, if they're not gonna change, then how are we gonna work this situation out?
Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm, so yeah, I’m curious if you could share a little bit more about some of these tools that you use. For those listening who -- I know Human Design, a lot of people are familiar, and some aren't. So, if you could share a little bit more about that and how that kind of helps to give you an understanding of what might be going on.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Yes, so after you reflect, the next thing is to evaluate your beliefs, and that’s a process, but S goes to surrender to your spirit, and this is about, well, who are you and what do you look like from a spiritual being and from an instinctual being.
So, I use two tools. I’m what’s called a Kolbe Certified™ consultant. Kolbe is spelled K-O-L-B-E for those of you who are eight on the fact-finding of Kolbe. [Laughs] But Kolbe is your instinct, how you do, how you take action. So, let me back up a second.
Now, I studied neuroscience in college and went through all that stuff with the brain, so I love brains, so I’m gonna give you a very simple reason. Three parts of the brain and of the mind, and these all have anatomical correlates, have been well researched.
Part number one (everybody’s familiar with): cognitive, which is where the IQ, the thinking and reasoning things are. The second part of the brain: affective. That is where the emotions are, where the personality is. Think DISC tests. The DISC is the most popular. Corporate loves to use DISC tests. But guess what? Those types of tests are changeable. IQ tests are changeable too. There’s this third part of the brain that most people have never heard of. It’s called conative. C-O-N-A-T-I-V-E because I know people listening are saying, “What?” Conative, and that means how you take action when you're free to do things naturally. This is your natural instinct on how you do. So, here are the three parts of the mind. There’s thinking, there’s feeling, and there’s doing.
And so, Kathy Kolbe, who is a wonderful woman, in her eighties, still teaching us, her father invented one of the IQ tests.
And so, all her life she was watching this and realized, “There’s something missing because you see these people, and they have really high IQs, but they're not doing so well. Then you see these people, they score low and they're doing great! What else is there?” This is when she realized people do things a lot differently, and she came up with this because, of course, when the universe wants you to be the spokesperson for something, the universe will give you that information. So, the Kolbe Assessment or Kolbe Index, it’s not a test. Everybody gets a perfect score. There’s not one that’s better than the others, but there are four main types.
There’s a Fact Finder. This is the person that likes facts and details. Right now I can tell you the person who’s the fact finder, I am not giving enough details at all because I’m not a Fact Finder. The Fact Finder never has enough details. So, let’s think about how this plays out in a relationship. If you have someone that you get into a relationship with and they seem like they need to know more and more and more about you and they seem like they're taking a long time to pop the question, and it may have been years, and you can't figure out what they're still looking for, that might be somebody who’s a, what we call, Initiating Fact Finder, okay?
The next type is called a Follow Through, and those are the people who like to organize, and somebody who’s a Follow Through might be somebody who is an excellent podcast host or an MC who masters ceremonies. They like to systematize and organize, and this is how they do life primarily. When it’s time to take action, the first thing they will do is systematize and organize to be able to figure out how to do things.
The third type of person is called a Quick Start, and if you look at me, I bet you can guess that I’m a Quick Start. The Quick Start is the risk taker, the innovator. You might have a lot of people in your audience who are entrepreneurs and love to be serial entrepreneurs.
They take risk. How they take action, and I’m a nine of the Quick Start, and one to ten is we innovate, we take risk, we talk off the cuff, and so, when I said did they ask me anything, if you ever get someone who’s a Quick Start, they don't even need any data. They're gonna make up stuff, and so, you must fact check them because they're gonna be so good on their feet. When everybody else is flummoxing, the Quick Start will be standing in the background observing and then the person who will come forward, put it all together, and be like, “Oh, my god, she/he just convinced me.” That’s the Quick Start, the innovator.
And then there’s the Implementer person, and they're the person who makes things happen. They're the builder. If you don't have somebody like this on your team, you’ll be in the idea stage a lot because nothing will ever happen, okay?
So, when people take the Kolbe Assessment, they realize that, “Oh, my god!” This is why I had to jump out of medicine. Now, there are people, obviously, who innovate in medicine, but you're the heretic because you're not supposed to -- you're supposed to follow the process, and when you don't follow the process, the lawyers come after you. But the way we really do get new and exciting stuff is because there are enough quick starts who innovate and say, “Here’s the next big thing.” They have the ideas. They're always thinking of it that way, and then they have, behind them, the Fact Finders who are doing the research to say, “Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Here’s why, here’s why, here’s why, and here’s more why, and can we get some more why?” That’s what the Fact Finders do. And then the Organizer will put it all together, go up to the podium, and say, “Okay, well, now, we’re gonna have the presentation on this and pick out the different people to do the different things.”
So, what’s the benefit of this? In a work environment, you create team synergy by having what’s called conative diversity. Everybody’s taught about diversity, equity, inclusion. I don't want you to pick me because my skin is brown or because I’m a woman. I want you to pick me for my innovative brain to be able to teach you about the Kolbe, and then I’m gonna pass it off to other people who are gonna do little details with you, okay? And then I’m gonna teach you about this next-wave stuff that you're like, “Well, there’s not enough data there,” but you'll be like, “Okay, well, but it rings true with me.” There you go to Human Design.
So, I introduce you with the data stuff for people who like to go and look at all the data stuff. But then I get you to the stuff that’s really gonna get to your energy, right? So, when you're in a boardroom, you create high-performing teams by looking for all types to get your team where you feel there are 12 blocks, basically.
You want to get people in the team that fill all the 12 blocks, and then when you go to the bedroom, what you start noticing is, “Okay, I’m a Quick Start, but my husband is a Follow Through. He’s low on the Quick Start, so I’m gonna have to be the one to innovate.” He says to me, “You're so impulsive!” That’s because in that area he’s a three and I’m a nine.
So, this is why we might also hit heads sometimes because I'm trying to innovate and he’s the person who maintains order and keeps what’s good, good, pulls back down. So you see how you need both. You need the Innovator, but I never stop innovating.
Amanda Testa: Right.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: You need the person who’s gonna keep something because you don't want to throw out everything all the time because I would throw out everything every day and start new and fresh because this is how I do, right?
So you need all of these people, but when you're in a relationship, what you start to realize is that, okay, he’s a Follow Through. I’m telling you specifically about my husband. He’s a Follow Through, and I do this with couples too, but also with teams in a work setting, it’s just the languaging is different. It’s Kolbe A. We do an A-to-A comparison on a couple or a team. We also can do this test on a particular position. So, if you want to hire someone, you can figure out what does the position say. This is government-approved non-discriminatory. It’s the only test that you can do for people pre-employment because it’s been shown to be repeatable and very, very excellent at saying whether somebody will be good at one job or the other. But what does this all do? It helps you understand who’s sitting in front of you. It helps you understand other people on the team, and you realize that, “Okay, they're good at this. I’m not so good at that, so I’m gonna get this other person to do that.”
Now, what you don't want to do is I don't want everyone to say, “Well, I’m a Quick Start, so I can't do the organization.” It’s not true. You can do all the areas, so you can't use that as an excuse, but that’s not my best and highest use, and I have to use a lot of energy to be organized, right? So, this is why for years and years and years I have the housekeeper coming in once a week because everything would be in disarray, right, if I didn't have somebody to help keep things organized on a regular basis, right? You have to figure out what tools, all right?
So, that’s the Kolbe Assessment. It takes about 15 minutes. It can be used in corporate. The Kolbe corporation will tell you that when they ask people in corporations where they're going, and this is where it’s introduced most, what was most impactful about it, they all say, when they took it home to their families because all of a sudden they could all understand each other.
Amanda Testa: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I’m curious, how does weaving in both the Kolbe and Human Design pieces help you with couples? Because I know it is so enlightening when you can kind of understand how the other person works, like, “Oh, this is…”
Dr. Veronica Anderson: For the Fact Finders, I want to give the thing that you can go out and get a lot of data on.
Amanda Testa: Yeah.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: So that’s why I like to start with the Kolbe because there’s a lot of research behind it.
Amanda Testa: Yeah.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: When you go into the spiritual area, it is more challenging in a research area because I think there’s not a lot of money in it because when people learn how to manage themselves they can't throw medicine at us. That’s why I think there’s not a lot of research going on in the spiritual area, but that’s just my own bias. But these spiritual topics have to do with things like quantum physics -- and I’ll tell you, quantum neutrino physics, which is part of Human Design, actually in 2015 -- it came into being in 1987 so it’s very new. In 2015, there was a Nobel Prize that was won on these types of topics in quantum physics with the neutrinos.
So Rah, who’s the guy -- you know, when you have a spiritual awakening, you’ve got to change your name so I can't remember what his name was, but now he’s Rah.
Amanda Testa: [Laughs]
Dr. Veronica Anderson: [Laughs] I don't know! I haven't changed my name yet, so I haven't gotten there yet, but Rah, it was downloaded from the universe. Just like Kathy Kolbe came up with. This is downloaded. This is divine downloading, no matter whether it’s studied or not. It’s just you may be way ahead of your time like Einstein. Think about Einstein. There were things that, way after he was dead they were proving, “This is it,” and he was wandering around saying things that were -- and formulas and things like that that people just couldn't figure out, like what is that, later on.
So, Human Design is like that. It is an energetic system. It combines the quantum neutrino physics, the chakra system, Kabbalah, I-Ching, and the Natal Chart (elements of astrology).
There is not a one-to-one correlation between any of these. It’s its own system, but you start with people’s birth date, time, and place, and it’s very important to know the time and place because it has to do with where the planets are, and when we start talking about how neutrinos are working and following, the planets make a difference.
Now, anybody who wants to doubt what the planets do, well, why do we have seasons, and anybody who’s in healthcare or anything like that knows that when the moon changes people’s behavior changes. Everybody will tell you that. It’s been studied, okay? It’s not a coincidence. So, we have some understanding that the movement of the planets and the earth that we are on makes a difference, but we’re not gonna talk about the research. If you don't believe, this isn't the time to click off and tune out, but this is where it gets really deep.
So, what happens in Human Design is it comes up with very high-level five types, and those five types are divided into energy and non-energy types. And so, the energy types -- I think you told me this before -- are Generators or some type of generator. So, there are Generators or Manifesting Generators. You're a Manifesting Generator. What does it mean? It means your sacral center is defined, you have that energy motor center, and you are happy as can be when you are doing the work you're meant to be. The Generators are the people who get the work done in our world. Now, don't feel bad if you're a Generator. I’m not gonna give you tons of famous ones, but Oprah’s a Generator, the Dalai Lama's a Generator. I mean, there are a lot of people out there in different professions. You're gonna say, “Generator? I’m just a Generator?” No, it’s not just a Generator. Nothing would get done if everybody were like me. [Laughs]
I’m not a Generator. But I love Generators. I am married to a Manifesting Generator, a true Manifesting Generator, because there are Generators with manifesting qualities that we call Manifesting Generators, and this is getting deep, but what does it mean? Define manifesting, defined throat. The throat is what you manifest out of. So, you have a defined throat, but you also have the defined sacral center, and it means that you can initiate and you can take action, okay? So, somebody who’s a Generator, they're actor and responder. Seventy percent of the population are some type of Generator. The real number is 68. Sixty-eight percent are some type of Generator, okay? See, I can get specific sometimes.
Then you have the non-energy type. What does that mean? It means our sacral center is undefined. We do not have the defined motor center, and that’s the center of infinite energy and vitality and everything like that. Now, that doesn't mean that you're a slump or anything like that. I mean, most people would not look at me and say I don't have energy. It just means you're meant to do something different than the way your energy lands with people and your strategy for life is different.
So, the three non-energy types are Projectors, Manifestors, and Reflectors. Reflectors have no defined centers. They're like a mirror. So, you're around these people, they're one with nature. You may love them, or you may hate them because they're mirroring everything that’s going around. So, you can see how somebody who has a lot of open centers is bringing in what’s going on around them and can mirror back to you not even knowing they're doing it. These are wonderful people to have on a team because they're almost like a chameleon and can do anything and everything. Now, they're only one percent of the population. One percent of people are Reflectors, okay? Now, remember, if you're a non-energy type, you’ve got to get a lot of rest.
Now, I’m gonna talk about rest and burnout because there are people out there who are Generators who have burnt out. I’ll tell you what the problem is with that after I give the other types.
There are Manifestors. Everybody thinks they want to be a Manifestor. They're the people who it seems like things just happen like this for them. That’s the Manifestor. They have a defined throat where they can manifest but they're meant only to initiate. Manifestors can seem put-off-ish and rude and can have an aura that’s more repelling. So, when people say they want to be a Manifestor, you have to learn how to walk in the world to get people to understand you, and because you can just seem like you can get things to happen out of magic, there are a lot of people who don't like that a lot of times. And because you can get things to happen, a lot of times you’ll feel like you don't need other people.
Now, Manifesting Generators can be extra like that because they can initiate, and they can do. So, Manifesting Generators are the type of people that a lot of times you don't need somebody else to do, and so, you can piss people off because they don't know.
Now, what do you do if you're a Manifestor, or let’s say a Manifesting Generator, to get by it? You've got to just inform people what’s happening. You’ve got to use that voice, not change what you're going to do because you know how to initiate. That is your core genius. But you just have to inform people ahead of time, so they know what’s what, all right?
Now, the final type is where I fall. I’m what’s called a Projector. It means that my strategy for life, I don't have a defined center. I happen to have a defined throat, but I don't have a motor center connected to the throat. I don't have my sacral center connected to my throat. It’s up there. It’s split from it. So I’m what’s called a Unicorn Projector because I have those manifesting qualities, but my aura and my strategy is wait for the invitation, wait for recognition. I cannot initiate.
So notice here I am on your podcast. You didn't find me through me. You found me through an introduction. So anybody who’s out there who’s a Projector, I want them to hear this. Your two themes as a Projector are bitterness versus success and you get bitter because you're not seen unless you’re recognized. So why would I write a book of how to get seen and heard? Because I’m used to not being seen and heard. I can be invisible if you can believe that. There are times where I’m invisible to people if they don't recognize me, and you have to understand that as a Projector, you're meant to be a wise guide, and that means don't cash your pearls for swine. You’re a guide, but you have to wait for people to ask you for guidance.
So, how do I get recognized? How does a Projector get recognized in an introduction, and then you say, “Huh, that seems interesting. I’d like to talk to her,” and it’s your idea. They presented me and introduced me, and then it was your idea to say, “Well, that would be really interesting.” So, Projectors, think about that. But another way to get recognized, because this can be tough in a relationship, this can cause all kinds of fights because if I’m not seen or heard or recognized and I offer my opinion, me and my husband are having a big fight, and you're like, “Well, what do you do? You're allowed to talk.” Yes, but guess how I handle this? I ask for recognition. I ask him. He’s a Generator.
Now, anybody who’s a Generator, you operate in the yes/no realm. So, ask your center a yes or no question and heed that yes or no, right? So, how does anybody else get recognized? I ask him a yes or no question.
“Would you like to know what I think about that?” And then when he says, “Yes,” I tell him what I think. He recognized me. But if he says, “No,” I keep my mouth shut. And sometimes he jokes because I ask, but if I just go in and I start talking, he’s gonna be pissed because my energy becomes repulsive when I try to initiate. But it’s magnetic when I stay in my strategy and type. So, do you see how this can play out in relationship?
Now, let me just say one other thing about Generators because, Generators, I said you have unlimited energy and there’s somebody out there saying, “Well, if I’m a Generator and I have unlimited energy, why did I burn out?” Generators do burn out because you were saying yes to something that’s a no. You can burn out of a relationship. You can burn out a job. When you say yes to something that’s a no and you know exactly what that is because in your brain you said, “Was it this?” and it said, “Yes,” because you ask yourself a yes/no question, you know exactly what made you burn out, right? This is how you trust your gut. So, if you're a Generator, ask yourself a yes/no question.
If you are in therapy or coaching or anything like that, assume before you know anything about people that they're probably a Generator (70% change), so start off asking. Don't ask those open-ended questions. Doing -- I can't remember what they were talking about -- you know, that kind of interview spot where you ask people how they feel? That’s not gonna work with 70% of people! Most people will give you the deer in the headlights. It will work with a Projector, but you're only talking about 30% of the population. You're not talking about the majority, okay? Why do people who are not Generators feel like black sheep (because I talk about that) because the world of Generators says you're supposed to do it that way, you're supposed to work, work, work, work, work. You're supposed to initiate and work and work, but people who aren't, you’re supposed to be instead of do.
Now, it doesn't mean you don't do any work. I’ve run marathons. I’ve done all these things. I went through medical school. I worked hundred-hour weeks, but that’s not my master path in life. My master path in life, which was found out also energetically if you look on my Human Design, if you look on my scientific hand analysis, is as an intuitive. In my hand analysis -- I don't know if your audience knows about these -- I have eight gift markings and five of them are intuitive. Yes, I do also have a medical stigmata. So yes, I was meant to be a doctor, but my master path is as an intuitive.
Amanda Testa: I love it.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: So, why do I talk about Human Design, because when I tell people I’m just giving you a very high-level type. That’s one little piece of it, right? You go down and there’s a profile on what’s called a 5/1. The 5 -- are you a 3/5?
Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: The 5 is an innovator. So consciously I’m an innovator. Consciously on my Human Design -- now think, I’m a Quick Start instinctually, and intuitively I’m a visionary innovator. Your 5, the first number is your conscious personality. The second number is unconsciously. Well, unconsciously, you're an innovator. Unconsciously. Now, the 3 is for somebody who you're the trial and error person. They call that the martyr a lot of times, but you do things from trial and error, and that’s how you learn. That’s how you're meant to go through life.
So when you learn these pieces about your own spiritual design and see how beautifully you’re put together (and everybody is unique) it’s like, “Oh, my god!”
Now, the first thing that happens is type jealousy, okay? [Laughs] When you first look you're like, “Ugh, I’m a what?” But a lot of times what happens is you learn what it is, and you're like those answers -- when I found out I was a Projector, it just answered so many questions about the way certain things went in my life and why things were going the way they were and then gave me a way and strategy to flow into how to be seen and heard. I learned how to be seen and heard by following and being who my spiritual being made me, okay?
Now, let’s talk about this in terms of relationships. I’d like to give some interesting examples of relationships.
Amanda Testa: Yes, yes, please!
Dr. Veronica Anderson: My favorite examples are King Charles. King Charles was first married to Diana. Well, when you do a composite of their Human Design, they're what’s called a 9-0 couple which means they fill all the energy centers as a couple. Sounds good. They're meeting each other’s energetic needs, right?
You're like, “Well, what happened?” Now my husband and I are a 9-0 couple like that too. They call it “nowhere to go.” The reason why they call it that is we meet each other’s needs so well, when anybody comes from the outside energetically, they don't feel like they have a place with us. So, a lot of times we’ll even socialize separately because if we don't socialize with other couples, it’s hard because a third person doesn't feel like they fit anywhere energetically, so it doesn't feel comfortable to be around us necessarily. We’re good together. We meet each other’s energetic needs.
People say, “What! I want a 9-0 couple!” Not necessarily, okay? Charles and Diana were a 9-0 couple, but when you go further down the chart and there are those energetic channels, they have only one energetic channel, and those energetic channels will make you feel like, “I want to be with this person! Oh, my god! Ahh!” This is the imperative for reproduction. So, they did have the 9-0 meeting their needs, and they also had a channel there for reproduction. But if you look at the rest of the chart, it’s pretty blank. There’s not a lot of other energetic stuff happening there except for there’s a good amount of compromise on their chart, and that means the relationship’s gonna be difficult, okay? So, I’m not talking about personalities at all here. I’m talking about what’s going on on a spiritual level that none of us can see.
Now, let me just tell you, Diana, everybody loved Diana and still loves her. I’ll let you know, she was a Projector. They say Projectors have a way of being. Think about Diana. She just had this way of being. You just liked to watch her float around. Whatever she did, she had this way of being. She had this magnetic aura. Let me tell you about Charles’ mother. Queen Elizabeth was a Projector. Think about her the same way. Why did you like the queen? What makes you like her, right? For some reason, there’s something magnetic about her, which Charles doesn't have by himself.
Now, let’s talk about Camilla with Charles. Camilla and Charles are also a 9-0 couple, so they're energetically meeting each other's needs, but when you look over there on those electromagnetic channels -- I think they have like five or seven of them. I’d have to look. They have a lot! You can see how they are pulling each other towards each other from an energetic standpoint, and they're also meeting each other’s needs when you look at the bottom, the compromise. They have the right amount. Camila and Charles are the spiritual, energetic, right couple over Charles and Diana. They work from an energetic standpoint, and this is why she was there before, and they had nothing. Think about it. He was supposed to be married. She was married to somebody else.
What happens is you're wondering, “Why am I so attracted to someone,” and you can't explain it. Let's look at your composite chart, and I can show you, “Here’s what the attraction is.” All those tattles and things, they have different meanings, so I could tell you, “Here’s why you're attracted to him and how you feel.” I don’t even need to know you. I just need your birth stuff, his birth stuff, even if you’re an LGBTQ couple, same thing. We put your composite chart together, and we can talk about what’s going on on an energetic level.
Now, I do this because I want you to figure out how to maximize yourself as a couple. My intuitive abilities allow me to pull out of your chart exactly what you need to know when you come to me. So yes, I do intuitive readings, but I love to use Human Design because it’s something people can look at, they can go back to. You heard about this now.
Now you're gonna go back and look at it in a different way. Now you want to know, “Okay, I want to see my kids, and I want to see what my spouse looks like, and I want to do the composite,” you know what I’m saying? If you're not a 9-0 couple -- people say, “Well, is 9-0 --,” no. There’s nothing that’s perfect. You are who you are.
But what if you're like, let me just say, Kate and William. You know how they're just kind of like meh, right? Well, that’s their spiritual energy together. They're just kind of meh, right? They don't kind of rope you one way or the other put together. They also are able to see eye to eye. They're not a 9-0 couple. I think they're 8-0, and what does that mean? One open center. So, when they have to make a decision or do something, it all goes to that open area. They go to the same way, so they're able to live in harmony because they're solving and looking to the same way to get things solved.
So you see that there is one other piece. So I talked about instinct, and I talked about what I call intuition and how to learn to use your intuition because once you learn these factors, you're gonna learn how to use them and how to trust your gut. So I learned how to be patient, get recognition. How do I get recognition? And if I don't have the recognition, I know that it’s going to come because I’m here and I’m meant to be a guide. It’s just it may not come fast like I want it to come, and everybody wants things to happen yesterday, but you learn to be patient and the right opportunities present themselves, right?
Amanda Testa: Yeah.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Part of doing podcasts is because a year from now somebody will listen to this and say, “I need to know who she is,” and so, they found me and they're able to recognize me and figure out where I am and say, “She’s the woman I need to work with. She’s the woman I need to be in the boardroom. She’s the woman I need to help me with the --,” right?
Amanda Testa: Yep.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: So, I get on here so I can be with you and be recognized by you, and your voice adds to what I’m saying, your credibility and authority. So, anybody who’s a Projector and doing anything, think about just doing podcasts, right? It’s got to be something interesting that makes you want to be on the podcast, right?
But there’s one other piece that people need to know about in relationships, and that other part is -- and this is the really hard part -- imprinting. I don't know how much you talk about imprinting, and that’s when your subconscious mind is being plastered with everybody else’s ideas and ways of being and all that, and they like to say 7.
When we look in medical-type things it can happen up to 11, but the formative years of your life, from the moment that you're conceived until you're about 7 to 11, your subconscious mind is there and your conscious mind isn't, and the ways of everybody else is being put on you, right? So what happens with that?
You may have a dysfunctional family, and the imprinting of that dysfunctional family is familiar. And so, when you go out and start looking for a relationship, you end up picking somebody who’s like your dysfunctional family. Why? Because you’re comfortable with it. You're familiar with it from being imprinted. That’s very challenging, but can that be changed? Yeah, but you have to decide that you want to.
Now, I have a relationship quiz called “What’s Your Number One Relationship Mistake?” and there are five types, and there are specifically a few of these types that tend to have this kind of imprinting. I call them the adrenaline adventure and the fantasy weaver.
You take the test (this takes five minutes), and you’ll get back what type you are. And it talks about what persona shows up in the relationship. Talking about your persona in a relationship, and a lot of times what’s happening is you’re looking for something that’s from that imprinting, and it might not be what you really need from a spiritual standpoint, and so, your relationships tend to not work, nobody’s right, nobody’s perfect. You see people like that. “Why can't I pick the right person? Why do I always keep attracting the wrong person,” right? So that’s talking about when I start looking at that personality -- and why do I do the quiz, and there have been about 37,000 people so far who’ve taken this quiz. So I have a lot of data. For anybody who likes data, get on a call with me, and I’ll tell you the data of the people who’ve taken the quiz.
Amanda Testa: Yep.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: But, obviously, I’ve learned a lot about how people divided up and how -- in order to come up with the types because this was something that existed before. Think about it. I’m an Innovator. I watched my clients, right? And then I was like, “Okay, what are they doing,” and I came up with the types, and then I figured out, “Okay, how am I gonna test this?” People will take the test over because they won't like their answer, and they’ll get the same answer! You're picking the answer. It’s the funniest thing. You try to trick the -- and they're like, “I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to say you were crazy, but you were absolutely right.” Yes, you're picking the answer. What does it allow you to do? It allows you to reflect and start where you are, and I mean, your name and email might go into the system or usually I just ask for an email, so I don't even know what your name is, but it allows you to anonymously, kind of, look at yourself in the mirror and see, “How am I showing up in a relationship from a personality standpoint?”
Because you know in a relationship, in the beginning, four people show up: your persona and the real you, the other person’s persona and the real them.
Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: And you're always trying to figure out who’s who and what’s what. So, it’s very crowded. When you get to the point where you really are comfortable in who you are, you know who you are. That’s why I want you to have a Kolbe. That’s why I want you to have a spiritual guide because then you have something to really know who you are, then when you start living into that, you're really gonna start trusting yourself because then you're gonna start learning about other people and who they are. Now remember, we’re still all on this journey, so there are surprises. You don't absolutely know everything, but just where somebody is by age.
Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm. Right.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: I mean, going through a Saturn Return or something like that. You can talk about the type of things that are gonna be happening in your life. You can see when I got my scientific hand analysis, Jane Sanders is the woman who did it.
Amanda Testa: Oh, I know Jane!
Dr. Veronica Anderson: You know Jane Sanders?
Amanda Testa: Yeah!
Dr. Veronica Anderson: She’s wonderful, wonderful! But she looked at it, she was like, “You got eight gift markings, five of them intuitive, and I’m just gonna tell you, if you're not doing something intuitive, you are not on your master path in life.” Loud and clear, and guess what? It was before I could even say that I was intuitive or psychic.
Now, for a long time I’d just call myself a medical intuitive because I didn't want to say psychic and I was embarrassed,
Amanda Testa: Right.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Right? I am what I am! And it’s so funny because I work with some corporate stuff, and people like to sort of hide that psychic thing, but I’m just like -- listen, this is the piece that everybody wants to know about, but I’m a doctor. I’ve been in left-brain stuff. I love the data. I’m a 5/1. That 1 is an investigator. I’m an investigator on a level, so I’m gonna have done my work on a subconscious level and be able to stand toe-to-toe with the Fact Finder, and if I’m not gonna give you all the data there, I need to tell you where to go get it, or I’ll be happily saying, “We don't have scientific studies on this particular stuff, but I want to tell you this because it might resonate with you, and you may be the person that goes out later and studies it and validates it in maybe 25 years from now,” right? Because this is how ideas get out there. Somebody’s willing to be courageous enough to stand up and say it. That’s how I ended up coaching.
Amanda Testa: Right.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: I ended up in coaching because people started saying to me, “How do you have the courage to do what you do? How do you have the courage to admit it?” Other people wanted to embrace those other sides of themselves, but I’m like, listen, if you want to get someplace in your career, let’s coach surrounding that. So, that’s why the book is called Getting Seen and Heard in Your Job, and in your job, you may want to move up or you may want to become an entrepreneur, or you may want to do a side hustle. I’m a doctor. I’ve got a process for that too. We’re not doing this willy-nilly. We’re gonna follow a process, okay?
But then when you want to look at your relationships, we also want to figure out, well, what’s a process that you can go through and remember and repeat and go back to different steps of it to be able to get the results that you want? Once you go through this, you really get a deep level of respect and love for yourself. Let’s talk about respect, okay?
Amanda Testa: Yeah.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Now, I don't go to church anymore, but I did teach Sunday school. I want you to know, if you studied the Bible, in the Bible, it says for husbands to love their wives and women to respect their husbands, okay? [Laughs] Now, you want respect back too. You don't want just love; you want respect. The only way you get respect is you have to learn how to respect yourself so you’re on an energetic plane of respect. Nobody taught you how to do that. Nobody taught you how to do that, and that’s what this is all about.
Amanda Testa: I think that’s what’s so interesting about these tools because they can help just give you different understandings of how to really be in alignment with what feels right for you. Like you said earlier, “Oh, it makes a lot of sense that I do things this way,” or, “It makes a lot of sense that me and my partner butt heads about this,” or, “It makes a lot of sense that I’m not getting to where I want to be in my career. And so, I’d love if you -- I think this has been so informative, and I so appreciate all that you shared because I feel like now it’s like all right, I’m sure everybody listening is like, “I want to go take these tests, and now I need to figure out how I can work with Dr. Veronica,” and all this. So I’m curious if you wouldn't mind sharing where everyone can connect with you and learn more and find ways to connect with you.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: So, of course, this is all gonna be provided to you. If you have five minutes, you can take the relationship quiz, “What’s Your Number One Relationship Mistake.” You’ll have the link for that. I’m Dr. Veronica. My website is www.drveronica.com, and on there, you can get all kinds of information. There is a section on there where you can scroll down the home page. You can meet me in my video, but I give away things to people for free, such as the Human Design.
Now, people say, “I can do my own Human Design. Why would I have Dr. Veronica do it?” Because, like I said, I’ve got a process here. When I do your Human Design, my team does it, but then we also send you back videos to explain it to you so you know how to start looking at it and reading it. So you’ll get videos that’ll explain about Human Design that you can listen to, and when I‘ve seen it, you can go to the different sites and do it on yourself free, and people look at it and they're like, “Yeah, but I didn't understand it too much. I didn't know quite what to do with it.”
So my goal -- I’m practical, all right? So, if you look at my Human Design chart, I have the right-brain download, conscious and unconscious (part of my intuitive). I’m also what’s called splenic, but I have the left-brain upload, which means I make it practical. So what makes it so that I can coach well is I can download what you need and then be able to give it back to you in a practical form. So, I’ve created tools to help people actually get some type of result.
So when you get your Human Design and you get a video back, the goal of that video is for you to start learning how to live into your Human Design. Why? Because all energetic systems, they’ve got to sink in. You can't rush it. You’ve got to learn patience. You can't study it and get an A because spiritual and energetic things happen on the time of the universe, and you have no control over that, especially when you have weak trust and faith muscles.
Think about how we’ve been taught to trust. We’ve been taught to trust our parents. We had to in the beginning. They kept us alive. We’ve been taught to trust school, education, government, institutions. In religions we’re taught to trust this God that’s outside of us, not realizing that we’re a part of this whole. We’re all connected to source, and the answers are within us, but we’re not told that the answers are there and how to find those. So by the time you get to the end of The Respect Method with me, to the tee, you're gonna know what your trust feels like. That’s the goal. So go take the quiz, get the Human Design done and get the videos.
Now, let me explain something. I hear a lot of people doing work. “I’m working on myself, so I don't want to do anything because I’ve got to work on myself.” That’s not how you learn. The way you learn is not the way school taught you. The way you learn is by doing and then assessing and correcting. So, if you're out of a relationship or you're saying, “Well, I don't need a coach right now because I need to read and watch these videos and do things,” you need to be in action because who is it that said take the first step. In order to course correct, you have to start down the course, you have to start the journey. So, if you are just reading and studying, you're in your cognitive brain and that’s all you're doing. You're getting knowledge. So you have to go from that knowledge to being able to do to be.
Now, think about this. I’m an eye surgeon. I didn't learn to be an eye surgeon from reading a book and watching videos. Did I have to read and book and watch the videos? Yeah, but I learned to be an eye surgeon from being there with another eye surgeon. And first, I had to learn how to look under the microscope, and then I had to learn how to operate and squirt the water. Anybody who’s a surgeon understands you go through this process of one little step at a time, and then you can put it all together. But what happens is as you do that one step, there’s somebody there course correcting you, so you have to be in action. I see so many people that say, “I’m not ready yet. I’m working on myself.” If you are just doing something and you're not in action and that’s not reading a book or watching YouTube videos, that’s out there in the world having experiences, you ain’t working on yourself. That’s your self-sabotage pattern. You know what I’m talking about! I know you know what I’m talking about!
Amanda Testa: And it’s funny, too, because my husband’s in healthcare, and he always jokes that the MedSpring is see one, do one, teach one, but it is. It’s the doing, right? It’s like you have to do. That’s how you learn, you do. You have the experience, and so, I love that.
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Yeah, and then you actually learn how to be. That’s when you’ve changed, when you can be that and you don't even have to think about it anymore. So, when I first started learning how to do surgery, I could hardly look under the microscope and squirt the water. By the time I was a surgeon and I finished, I could have a conversation, listen to music, sing, and operate with both hands and both feet and do it all in ten minutes. That’s how it becomes. I was truly being. It was just part of my habit. So it’s the same thing with everything in your life, and that includes love and relationships.
Amanda Testa: Thank you so much, Dr. Veronica, for all of this luscious wisdom you’ve been sharing, and I’ll make sure for everyone listening, that all of this is in the show notes as well so you can get the link to her quiz. It’s www.drveronica.com, and thank you so much for being here. I so appreciate you!
Dr. Veronica Anderson: Thank you so much for having me!
Amanda Testa: Yes, and thank you all for listening, and we will see you next week!
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