dealing with a negative partner with Amanda Testa
How to stay up when your partner is bringing you down.
Do you often feel drained of energy and happiness because of your partner's constant negativity? If yes, then this episode is for you.
Many clients come to me wanting to feel more connected in their relationship, but feel their partner is unsupportive. It's really powerful the things we can do on our own to support our relationships, and being the "initiatrix" can bring forward lots of positive changes.
Tune in to this episode to discover:
- Excellent tips to take care of yourself, and protect your energy and happiness even if you feel you're stepping into a cloud of negativity when you walk in the house.
- How to set boundaries with your partner, practice self-care, and not take their negativity personally.
You don't have to suffer in silence when dealing with a negative partner.
By listening to this episode, you'll discover practical steps to nourish yourself and maintain your emotional well-being in the face of negativity.
Listen below, or tune in via: Apple Podcasts,Stitcher or Spotify.
Complete transcript below.
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Amanda Testa is a trusted healer, coach, and guide who’s served hundreds of clients over the years with masterful skills in coaching, pleasure embodiment, and somatic trauma resolution.
After thousands of hours of training in trauma informed sex and relationship coaching, tantric sex coaching, energy healing, somatic trauma resolution, breathwork, yoni egg coaching and more, she’s seen time and time again the magic and wisdom of our bodies.
We all have the ability to return to our blueprint of health, aliveness, pleasure and sovereignty, and you can too.
With her powerful, loving and gentle support her clients find their desire and pleasure again, find safety and bliss in their bodies, and remember they are enough just as they are.
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EPISODE 259: Dealing with a Negative Partner
[Fun, Empowering Music]
Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!
Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I know often I hear from clients that it can be challenging when your partner is being negative to work on your relationship or to work on yourself. And so, today in this episode, I’m going to be talking with what you can do about a negative partner or how you can deal with a negative partner and continue to move forward even if your partner is not supportive or is being negative or maybe you’re going through some kind of transition where they're not available for you in the way that you want them to be. So, just make yourself a little comfortable, and we are gonna dive right in!
So, I also just want to note as we start that we are all human, right?
We all have cycles. We have times when we’re feeling good, times when we’re feeling not-so-good, and these things can happen. Oftentimes, it can feel really challenging when your partner’s negative and you feel like they're not taking ownership and they're bringing you down and all the things, and your relationship really is one of the most important things in your life, right? It’s the lifeblood of your family. It really makes a difference in how you show up when you're getting along versus when you're not, and when your relationship is flowing and you feel connected and you feel good, that expands into other areas of your life. And when your relationship feels hard, when it feels like there’s constant conflict, when there’s turmoil, when the energy’s bad, when you're not feeling connected, that also shows up in other areas of your life, right? And so, what do you do about this? I’m gonna share some tips around this today.
So, one of the first things is you want to just try to have empathy for their situation to start, empathy for what they may be going through, right?
Maybe they are going through a lot of stress on their own that they may or may not be sharing with you. Maybe they’ve experienced a traumatic event. Maybe they’ve had certain things that might be bubbling up from earlier in their lives. Maybe it could be all kinds of things.
So, first of all, I always invite in trying to have a little empathy for whatever their situation might be, what you know about them, and notice if it feels possible to view things from their perspective. I get that can feel really hard to do when we’re stuck in our own narratives, but it could be helpful just to try to put yourself in their shoes. What might they be experiencing? What’s going on in their life? If you could put yourself in a day of their life, what might be going on to have them behave the way they’re behaving? Sometimes that could just offer you a little more compassion in which to view the situation, right? So, just having that empathetic lens can be so supportive in that way.
Secondly is also realizing that so often these things are not about you, right? So often it is not about you. It’s rarely about you, and yes, it can hurt your self-esteem. Yes, it can make you feel bad about yourself if your partner is hurting your feelings or in a bad mood, but most often it’s not about you, right? It’s about them and what they're experiencing. So, again, you want to try to meet them where they are. If they are in a really down mood a lot and you're feeling extra peppy and excited, that might feel hard for them if they're feeling in a depressive state of their lives or maybe they're under a ton of stress. So just noticing how you can be your true self but maybe also honor where they are. You’re not trying to change who you are because you know the more you can be yourself, the better. But when it’s feeling hard to feel on the same level, maybe just notice how it might feel to meet them where they are.
Next is to resist the urge to fix. This can be so very challenging, but it is not your responsibility to make your partner happy. Let that one sink in. It is not your job to make your partner happy. Can you give yourself permission to just let go of that responsibility? So often, as the woman in a relationship, you feel like the caretaker, like you’ve got to make everyone’s needs met, like you’ve got to take care of everybody, right? Once everyone’s happy, then you can feel happy. When everyone’s content, then you can feel content. Let me just tell you, that is a losing battle. You will not win that. You are not gonna win trying to make everyone happy. So, you know it’s not your job to fix them. That’s something that they’re gonna have to do for themselves, and while this is true, you can also be an inspiration, right? This is why it’s so key.
So often people come to me, and their partners are not ready to work on the relationship, are not willing to be involved in the process, but when you are doing the work on yourself, you can be an inspiration, right?
You can be a source of goodness for your partner, and oftentimes the key here is making sure that you get support for yourself. Getting support for yourself is key, and I know in my experience, as I’ve shared with you before, a few years ago my husband had a stroke, and he was dealing with a lot of things. He was healing on his own. There was a lot going on, and there were times when he was unable to meet me or unable to give me what I needed at the time, you know? It was really hard, but also, I realized he was dealing with his own things. He was dealing with his own healing. His brain was getting itself back together. So, it was unfair of me to think he could meet me in those moments when he needed to take care of himself.
Oftentimes, I think that we can put unfair expectations on our partners in that way, right? We may expect things from them that they are unable to give, and while it can feel really frustrating, this is your life partner.
You want them to be there for you. You want them to be able to give you what you need, and sometimes they are just simply incapable, and it’s not fair to ask of someone what they are unable to give. So, in those situations, that’s when it’s really important to find support for yourself. Who are the people that can support you? Who are your friends that can help you meet your needs? How can you get support for yourself, right? Always remembering you matter, your needs matter, and you need to get support for yourself, okay?
Again, that could be reaching out to friends, making sure you're spending time with people that light you up. Make a regular date with a good friend and see that person every week if you need to. Maybe join an exercise group or a walking group or a book club or something where you can have a regular connection with people that make you feel good. Maybe you want to reach out for support from someone like me or a therapist or a coach. Sometimes in these situations it can be where you need to get support from someone outside of yourself.
Maybe there are family members that are really supportive and loving that you could spend more time with, but just making sure that you are supporting yourself and that you are putting your happiness first is so key, right? This is one of the next things. Prioritizing your happiness, doing the things that make you feel good, doing the things that light you up because when you do that kind of thing, you're gonna be more connected to yourself, and then you’ll have more resilience to handle the challenging partner.
One of the things I think is really key here, I love one of my mentors, Layla Martin talks about this. You can be the initiatrix for what you want in your relationship. Sometimes you have to go first, and I know oftentimes people are saying, “Ugh, I don't always want to be the one to do this. Ugh, I don't always want to have to be the one to apologize. Ugh, I don't always want to have to be the one to do this,” but here’s my question. What do you want at the end of the day? Do you want harmony or do you want to be right? Do you want to have connection or do you want to hold out in hopes for something to happen that’s probably not gonna happen, right?
At the end of the day, sometimes we are just who we are, and we have different relationship patterns, we have different attachment styles, and based on that, it can affect how we show up in our relationship, right? So, if maybe you're the one that tends to be the peacemaker, that is something that you can look at as, “This is a gift that I have that I’m able to make peace. This is a gift that I have that I’m able to come back to a place of resolution or a place of more capacity inside myself where I can, then, be calm and go to my partner and initiate resolution,” right? That is a gift that you have, and you can be the initiatrix in bringing that to your relationship and bringing that to your partner, right?
So, I know it can feel annoying, but at the same time, view it as an opportunity, right? Can you shift your mindset to, “Wow, this is a great opportunity that I’m the one that can bring our relationship back to harmony, that I have that skill,” and there are probably some times where you're not able and your partner will be, right? But the more that you can do it, the more you can inspire, that can transform your relationship. Again, this is why focusing on making your own happiness a priority is so important. You can bring in this goodness.
A lot of times, you know, just to speak to this again, I have an example of a client who felt like their partner was just negative a lot, right? They were always feeling like they were protecting the kids from his negativity, protecting their family from their bad moods and all of this, feeling like they were just doing so much work of holding it together, keeping the family together, keeping everyone happy and protecting kids from that negativity, and while sometimes that’s commendable and important, it’s also important to realize sometimes we all go through hard times in life, and sometimes that can leave a residue that is hard to get through.
So again, having empathy again for those partners or those experiences where you're having that can be really important. Also inviting your children into that perspective of understanding. You can't protect them from everything, right? You can't protect them from your partner’s negativity all the time, and I think in those instances, it’s really important to explain how life can be challenging, and, “Yes, it might be a period of time where dad’s really in a bad mood a lot, right?
So, what do you think we could do to support him during this hard time?” Or just letting your kids know this is just life, right? We’re not happy 24/7, especially when you share a home with someone. There are times where things are up and down, and these cycles, we all go through them, so the more empathy you can bring to your kids as well, the more they can be understanding.
Also, I think these are some things you can do in these situations where you feel like your partner’s negativity is bringing the whole family down is, again, inviting in that initiatrix energy. Here are some things you can do, some ideas you can try on.
Number one, maybe you invite in a family gratitude journal, right? So that you keep it somewhere that -- it’s on the kitchen table or near the junk drawer or wherever it is, where people can just take turns writing down good things that are happening.
These little things like this can be little reminders, right? The people that are feeling good can support the ones that aren't feeling so good. Your positivity is contagious. Your calm is contagious. Your joy is contagious. So, just as your partner’s negativity might feel contagious, you can also bring your own goodness to help balance that out.
Maybe at dinner, you take turns sharing one good thing about your day, right? My kiddo has this really beautiful ritual she learned from her kindergarten teacher, and we still do it to this day. It’s called a rose, stem, and a thorn. So, every day at dinner, we each take turns, and we share our rose (that’s the best part of your day), the stem (something you’ve learned), and the thorn (might be something that was challenging or not ideal). If you feel like there were a lot of challenges, maybe you could just omit that part, but I also think it can just be great to just acknowledge what’s going on for every person. It doesn't even take long, and it can really be helpful because it can also get your partner to see the goodness that is around them, right?
Sometimes, again, we would love for our partners to get support, and sometimes they're open to that, and sometimes they're not. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink, right? It’s not your job to fix. I’m just reminding you it’s not your job to fix. Oftentimes with my clients, maybe their partner is resistant to therapy because they had a bad experience in the past, and so, maybe it’s where you just don't pressure, don't push, you know? If they're willing and they want to get help, you can always offer suggestions, but you can't force them to do anything, and again, sometimes when you are dealing with a depressed partner, it really is sometimes people are overwhelmed and they don't even know the decisions that they need to make.
So, if they're in a position where they are wanting to accept help, maybe you can just find a list of therapists that your insurance takes or look up BetterHelp.
Find some free resources that might be available. Sometimes if you do have insurance, oftentimes they might have some free coaching or anything like that available. These are just things you can check out because when someone’s over their capacity, if they are overwhelmed, if they are not in their window of tolerance, they aren't able to take the steps they need to take to get support. So, sometimes you might need to help make the decisions easy, like, “Here are two people that you might want to reach out to if you feel up to it.” Again, always just offering as a suggestion. Never forcing, never making it an ultimatum, but just offering support if they are open to receiving it.
Again, if they're not, that’s okay too because it’s not your job to fix, and this is why I’m gonna go back to this is why you being the one that’s taking care of yourself is so important, and maybe when you're in the car there’s a podcast that you enjoy that you could listen to together. Maybe there’s a book that you could listen to together. Maybe when you're doing things communally you can invite in supportive things. Maybe watching some inspiring stories on Netflix or documentaries that are inspiring, people getting through hard times.
I actually just listened to an amazing book that I love. It was Leslie Odom Jr.’s book Failing Up, which is a very short four-hour book. It’s a great little read. Those can be other things. Maybe you have an uplifting book that’s on a table or just things that invite in possibility that could help support your partner if they're negative.
So, again, I do want to share that I know this can feel intense and heavy, so maybe just take a breath. Give yourself a little shake. But remember, good energy can be contagious. The better and more rooted you are in yourself and feeling good, the more that can affect those around you, and also, noticing your own reactions. I think this is the next thing is owning your part, right? It can be very easy for us to get into a negative loop that, “Oh, it’s always them. Oh, it’s always them,” and so, here’s what I’m gonna invite you into.
Notice your part. Where might you be reacting in a way that could be triggering? We all have these repetitive patterns, right? Like I said earlier, we have our own attachment styles. We have our own things that we can do, and maybe there are things that trigger you, that make you go down the rabbit hole. So, here are some ideas around that.
Can you stop engaging, maybe if they're begin negative? Don't respond, right? Don't go down that path. Do something to interrupt that pattern. Maybe just move to a different room or just say, “Well, thank you for that,” and go on about your day. Anything you can do to stop those repeating loops. So, maybe you have a regular argument where you go downstairs and the kitchen’s a disaster and you're busy and they were supposed to put the dishes away and you are just over it, so maybe noticing what is your typical response there and how might you invite something new? What might your projections be around the experience?
I recommend Byron Katie’s The Work for this. She’s got some great questions here that you can just review, right?
Basically, it’s just asking yourself a series of questions like what happens when I believe -- “What’s the thought that you're having right now ?” “Oh, I believe my husband’s a slob because they never clean the kitchen,” right? Whatever. So, then you can just take a moment and know what happens when I believe this thought, that my husband is a slob, right? What happens when you start believing that thought? Where might you be projecting some of your own experience on the situation? Notice where you might be reactive and how to stop perpetuating those loops. At the end of the day, who is it that really wants to get this clean kitchen? Are there other ways that you can go about it?
Now granted, again, this always comes in handy, too, with parenting because I think that Byron Katie The Work is really funny, and you can just go to www.thework.com
and download the worksheets. But basically, it can help you to just have a different perspective on things because oftentimes we might be the one that cares about the dirty socks on the floor. No one else cares.
So, at the end of the day, you can pick up the dirty sock, too. But at the end of the day, what’s gonna make you happy? So, that just makes me -- I always laugh at that story when I hear her say that one about the mom who was so irritated with her teenager always leaving the socks on the floor.
Really, The Work is just like a meditation, right? It’s just tuning in and asking yourself these four questions. Number one, is it true? Number two, can you absolutely know that it’s true? Number three, how do you react (what happens when you believe that thought)? Number four, who would you be without that thought? So, there’s a lot to it, but basically, it’s just kind of being noticing of your own rejections around things because we all have them, okay?
So next, here’s something that’s really important: asking for and stating your clear boundaries. These can be challenging, especially if your partner is not willing to uphold boundaries. But you're gonna need to figure out what the consequences for that will be, right?
So say, for example, it’s like, “Okay on Saturday morning we’re gonna have pancake time, and I really desire for our family to have a good interaction on Saturday morning. I’m wondering what kind of things would help it to feel more fun for you,” right? Get their buy-in around it. So, “Would it be possible on Saturdays that maybe you can make pancakes and make it fun so we can inject a little fun into the family experience,” whatever it is, right? Stating something like that. “Here’s something I desire. Is this something you're willing to do?” Here’s something that I need to have respected, and what are your ideas around that?
So, for example, if I’m working, I need my husband not to walk back and forth across my office. [Laughs] This is something we deal with all the time. He is a very loud talker. He’s Italian, loves to talk loud. His office is right next to mine in our home, and so, there are some stairs that go upstairs in my office and also on the other side of downstairs.
So, what I have done is I have a curtain that I close, so I’m like, “When this is closed, you use the other stairwell so you don't walk through when I‘m coaching a client or taking a client through a deep process or teaching or whatever.” [Laughs] So, that could be a boundary, right? So, “I would love if, when I have a live call, I’m gonna close this curtain, and when you see this curtain closed, are you available to go up the other stairs?” Usually that’s a simple yes, right? You’ve got to help make that solution easy or be open to other ideas, right? get their buy-in around it.
Oftentimes, we can forget what our own boundaries are when we are caring for others. So, it can be helpful to take a step back and see, “Okay, what do I need when they are being negative? What do I need to support myself in that situation? Is it that I’m gonna go take a short walk? Am I gonna take the kids and go to the grocery store? Am I gonna take a bath? Am I gonna lock myself in the bathroom and take ten deep breaths and do some jumping jacks and get it out of my system?” What is it that you need?
Also, working on having better communication, right? Oftentimes, this is a challenging thing because we’ve never really been taught how to have good communication. So, you’ve got to talk about it though. You have to talk about it. You can't continue to sweep it under the rug. We often don't want to admit that we’re having problems. We don't want to let anyone know that we’re having problems, much less admit it to ourselves oftentimes, right? So, how do you have these conversations? Well, one of the things that I like to do when it comes to having a challenging conversation is trying to get a little bit of perspective around it by just giving yourself a few minutes, right? This is why this podcast can be really helpful because you can go through these steps and say, “Okay, what am I good at? What is hard for me?” I get it, right, especially when you're dealing with a challenging partner, you can feel nervous about bringing something up without triggering them and without trying to fix, but there is a way to come from a loving place, right?
And so, what I invite you to do in this situation, too, is just start to -- because, again, we can get in these loops. It can be really easy to fixate on all the things that drive us crazy or that we don't like or that we feel like they're doing wrong or the ways they're screwing up at parenting, all the things, right? We can get down those loops. So, what I would recommend you do is to start to note what you appreciate about your partner, right? Maybe just make a list of all the things you appreciate about them. Maybe memories in the past where you have appreciated them, things they’ve done. Just make a note of that, and everyday write something down that you appreciate. Bonus points if you want to share that with them.
Next is to try not to complain, right? Again, this can be challenging, but all you do when you complain is you remind yourself of all the things that make you upset, and that makes you feel bad. So, maybe you just have a venting notebook or Notes on your phone where if you just feel the need to vent, you can just go vent in there and then delete it. Get it off your chest or just write it down.
I’m a big fan of driving in the car and just bitching all the things I want to bitch and then letting it get out of my system, right? You can turn up the music. No one’s hearing you. Do it when you drop your kids off or pick them up or whenever you're driving around. Maybe you just need to get out in the car. Get out and do a little loop around the neighborhood. But I love that practice. I actually know a lot of people recommend it, and it’s funny because even when I was a teenager I used to do it. I’d call it “screaming,” and I would get in my car when I was mad, and I would turn up the music as loud as it would go. I’d roll down all the windows and just scream at the top of my lungs. It feels amazing. So, those are some ideas there.
Again, just trying to let go of that complaining. But when you think about the complaints, what I urge you to do is turn it around into a desire, right? So, if you think of something that’s hurtful and what you want to see instead, right? So, for example, I don't want my husband to say rude things to me, okay?
So, let’s get more specific. I desire our communication to be kind and respectful, right? That is a concrete desire versus a complaint. “I’m really annoyed that my partner always leaves their dirty clothes on the floor.” Switching that into a desire that’s very specific could look like, “I really need my partner to step up and do the laundry once a week,” twice a week, whatever it is. “I really need my partner to step up and put the clothes in the dirty hamper at the end of the day,” right? So, you have a specific request that’s doable.
So, you can give some timeline. This is why it’s really helpful to journal about it or talk with a friend about it or talk with a coach so you can kind of work through your mind. What’s really beneath all the resentment? What’s the need beneath all the upset, right? And so, once you have that figured out a little bit, you’ve connected to some things you appreciate about your partner, you’ve come up with some concrete desires, and then you want to try to find a compassionate place to state that from, to state these things, right? You want to both be in a place where you are available to hangout, available to talk.
Sometimes a really great way to do this is just by inviting them to take a walk with you. Maybe you walk the dog. Maybe you create a time where you can just spend a few minutes together and just say, “You know, here’s what I appreciate and value about you. Thank you so much for the way you do XYZ. Thank you so much for the way you're such a loving dad. I love the way you read stories to the kids every night,” or “I so appreciate the way that you always scrape my car off for me when it’s snowing. Thank you so much.” Then you can bring into the next thing. “Something that I’ve been observing is that we often have this repeated argument around the laundry,” for example, or “Something that I’ve been observing is that we often have this repeated argument around my work. For example, when I’m having a busy day, I notice that you oftentimes have a comment about the amount of time I’m working. Oftentimes, when you have a statement about that, I can take ownership that I can make myself feel bad about myself, and it sometimes, then, makes me feel upset towards you, and then I often notice that we get in an argument. So, what I do desire is that my contributions to the family are appreciated.” So, things like that.
“I just desire to feel appreciated by you. So, maybe is there something that you do appreciate about my contributions to the family? I would love to hear that from you,” or if you're arguing about the laundry, you're basically stating things you observe. So, you’re not blaming, you're just stating things you observe and how you take ownership of how that makes you react, right? So, you want to kind of come to it with that.
So, first of all, you're meeting at a time where you're both neutral. Number two, you're starting with something you appreciate. Number three, you're just bringing an observation, something that’s an observation, not blaming or shaming. Then you are going to invite in a practical solution. So, if it’s the laundry issue, right, maybe it’s, “I really appreciate the way you always cook dinner. I’m really grateful for how you nourish our family with such good food. Something that I observe is that we often have a repeating argument around the laundry on the floor, and what I desire is I would love a way to maybe create, at the end of the day or X amount of times a week, that we could look at some other ways of getting the laundry in the basket. What are your thoughts around that? Do you think at the end of the day you’d be able to just put the laundry in the basket at 5:00 PM every afternoon or three times a week,” or whatever, right? “What’re your thoughts about that?”
So, you give a suggestion, something that’s really tangible, and then find out if they're open to doing that. “What’re your thoughts around that?” See what they're capable of and what they aren't capable of, and again, as I mentioned earlier, knowing that sometimes they might not be capable of something we want them to do. They might not have the capacity. If so, what are they capable of doing and how can that be enough for you, right?
Even always I think coming back to if you care about your relationship, if you care about your partner, you do want to speak to that, right? “I love you. I care about our relationship. I want to feel connected to you, and I’m afraid if these patterns don't change we won't recover from that, and that, to me, is not an option. So, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on that,” right?
Often, people want to be seen, they want to be heard. When you come from a loving place in your heart, a self-compassionate place, a loving place, taking ownership for whatever part you play no matter how small, we’re humans, but when you can come to it with that intention of connection, finding a good space again together, then so much can happen in growth, so much can happen in coming back together, right?
Especially if something’s been hard for your partner or they're going through a hard time, which, oftentimes, that’s what it is. There’s underlying stress. Maybe there’s childhood trauma that’s been reactivated. Maybe it’s just like they're overwhelmed, and it can just open up a conversation, some vulnerability to really support one another, right, and just understanding what they're capable of doing, what they're willing to do, and how you can invite in that initiatrix energy.
So, I know this is a lot, but I really hope these tools are supportive because we can all go through periods of time where we might have a negative partner or they may be negative, so I just want to name that, right? Just to kind of recap what we’ve talked about is how you deal with this.
Number one: have empathy for their situation. Number two: know it’s probably not about you. Number three: do your best to meet them where they are. Number four: resist the urge to fix. Number five: get support for yourself. Number six: focus on the good. Number seven: try and stop complaining. Number eight: choose differently, even in similar circumstances (being creative, that you have choices to make). Number nine: prioritize your happiness (surround yourself with supportive friends and people). Number ten: examine your projections (where may you be reactive?) Number eleven: ask for what you need and state clear boundaries. Number twelve: own your part. Number thirteen: learn how to communicate (how to have the conversation, I talked about that). Finally, if you need support, you can reach out.
Also, you’ve probably heard the exciting news that I have a new membership! It is a monthly pleasure membership, and it is specifically a place where you can receive tools, you can learn how to be with your body, learn some somatic, tangible tools to kind of move through challenges, to connect more deeply to your pleasure, and to invite in connection to yourself and those around you.
And so, in this membership, I also have some bonus practices, and one of the most recent ones I did (we talked about boundaries last month) is an energetic practice around how you can basically create some energetic hygiene for yourself when you're dealing with a negative partner. And so, the membership right now is only $44/month for a limited time, and if you are interested in getting this practice, you can go to www.amandatesta.com/tpf. You can join the monthly membership. It’s only $44/month, and you can get access to this practice of how to deal with a negative partner, a somatic practice to energetically kind of cleanse your space and to create a strong boundary, and it’s really powerful. The feedback from the clients who have used it has been quite positive and just, really, I find it amazing what we can do when we take ownership because we can create opportunities for ourselves. We can create what we want in our lives, even if those around us might feel resistant at first. But when we take the first step, so often things change, so often things turn around.
One of my recent clients, she and her partner were just not connecting at all. They were bumping heads. They just could not get on the same page, and after her doing the work herself (he wasn't even involved in the process), three months later, she said that it was like an 180-degree shift in their relationship. He started showing up. They started going dancing again, which is something that she really valued that they had stopped doing. Because what happens is when we change, things around us change, right? There is movement. There is a change in that energy, which, nine times out of ten, affects those around you. Now grated, this is not always the case, but most of the time, it is, and I want to just invite you, like, you can make a lot of changes just by doing the work yourself.
So, if you want to check out The Pleasure Foundation, I highly urge you to check it out at www.amandatesta.com/tpf, and you can get that practice. I’m sending you so much love. I’m wishing you an amazing day. Thank you again for listening, and if you have someone who you think would benefit from this podcast, please share it! That just helps so much to help the podcast grow and to support others as well. So, wishing you a beautiful week, and we will see you next time!
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