Secrets to womens arousal and desire
with susan bratton
When you want to want to, but you just don't. Do you ever struggle with desire, or wonder what you can do to boost your libido?
This week I'm bringing back to the pod a delightful guest, Susan Bratton "Intimacy Expert to Millions". She is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long.
Flashes of brilliance pop like paparazzi as Susan rolls out one relationship epiphany after another. When she describes how love and intimacy can transcend what media portrays, you see how you can have way more intimacy and pleasure than you've been getting.
Listen below, or tune in via: Apple Podcasts,Stitcher or Spotify.
Full transcript is below.
In this episode you'll discover
A self-proclaimed "Orgasmanaut..." Susan Bratton travels to the outer reaches of human orgasmic potential to bring back the map to the territory of pleasure and connection. Imagine that you are capable of way more sexual satisfaction!
She's a "Sexual Biohacker..." Recommending regenerative therapies that keep your libido and desire thrumming with life force because sex is good for you.
Moreover, Susan's superpower is courage. She takes a lionhearted stand for your human right to pleasurable connection... And the willingness to get nerdy on anatomy, detailed about sex skills, and science-driven on sex drive to achieve this outcome for everyone whose lives she touches.
Her straight-talking, fearless approach is rooted in her personal experience of watching her sex life wither while she and her husband pursued dynamic careers. When their relationship hit a crisis point, the couple made a fierce commitment to do whatever it took to keep their family together and revive her drive. They brought their marriage-saving experiences to the world as online programs.
Today, Susan and Tim have the kind of dream relationship most people long since stopped believing is even possible—until they discover Susan's teachings.
Connect with Susan on Facebook HERE, on Instagram HERE, and on YouTube HERE.
Listen to the episode here or tune in via Apple Podcasts,or Spotify.
JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.
If you liked this episode, please consider giving me a 5 Star Review on Apple Podcasts! It truly does help the podcast grow.
Curious how I can help you in this area? Book a free consultation call here.
Amanda Testa (00:02):
Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex love and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex love and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome. Hello everyone. And welcome to the podcast. If you are looking to uncover some secrets around female arousal and libido, you are in for a treat today. I am so thrilled because I am going to be talking with my friend, Susan Bratton, who is a trusted sex expert to millions. She is just a wealth of knowledge and information, and I am so happy to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining us, Susan.
Susan Bratton (00:41):
Yay. This is our second episode together.
Amanda Testa (00:43):
I think it's actually our Third. If you can believe it.
Susan Bratton (00:45):
Oh my God. Is it good? The more the merrier, Amanda, we just can't stop loving each other.
Amanda Testa (00:51):
Well, everyone always loves your episodes. And I just love talking with you because you have such experience and, you know, I see so many, I just hear this all the time. How often women in particular that struggle around arousal and libido. And I really just am excited to talk with you more about this today and, you know, first of all, just welcome. And for those that are not familiar with you, would you, would you be open to just sharing a little bit about who you are and your story?
Susan Bratton (01:18):
Well, and it's funny because I think we should call the segment, I want to want sex, but I don't. Yes, totally. I want to watch him, but I don't. Yeah. I I've been in sexual education for the last 15 years. It's my second career. And I turned 60 this year and I'm having the best sex of my life. And I run two companies. One is a publisher, I'm a publisher of passionate love making techniques, bedroom communication skills, and essentially what I would call sexual biohacking secrets, how you keep your body in good shape so that you can really enjoy your sexuality for your whole life. So how do you reverse the atrophy of aging, the loss of lubrication, the lower libido, what, what really are the causes of it? And then how can you fix them if you want to, because sex is so healthy for us.
Susan Bratton (02:16):
I recently saw the most recent study that I thought was interesting. You know, we all know it's good for rebooting our nervous system, and we all know it's good for everything but glow and you know, the happiness and the oxytocin. And, and even if, if we're with a male bodied partner, the semen is full of really great things. Like some testosterone for us to have extra sex drive an extra umph and Gusto. And it regulates our menses or our moods, even after we go through menopause. But I read a study that said that having regular sex and orgasms throughout your life actually lengthens your telomeres and with your husband being in the business he's in and regenerative medicine, I know you know about telomeres and how our cells have a certain number of times they can replicate. And if you have short telomeres, it doesn't, you don't live as long.
Susan Bratton (03:07):
And if you have long ones, you live longer. And I like to say, I'm not only working on biohacking. My health span the time that I'm healthy in my life, but my sex span, because there are so many things that we can do to fix our aging Yoni's. So that's the other part of my publishing company. And then I own a second company and I manufacturer sexual vitality supplements. I manufacture a blood flow supplement and a daily multivitamin multimineral that has libido botanicals in it. And I'm launching an energy bar, a sexual vitality bar that stacks on top of that as well. That's like a healthy snack. That's good for your sex life. So between the teaching orgasm skills and bedroom communication skills and talking about sexual biohacking and then making the supplements, it's a really good bear hug of all of the things that people need to really enjoy their sex life, have great orgasms, feel deeply connected to their partner. That's what I love to do. I love to teach people how to transform having sex into making love. What I really do is I teach heart connected, passionate, love, making techniques. That's my thing.
Amanda Testa (04:27):
And it's so important. And I just love what an example of you are, what an example you are to have that because you can't see Susan right now, but she is so vibrant. And I love how, you know, just kind of busting that myth. That sexuality has to die as you age because so many people believe that to be true.
Susan Bratton (04:44):
I know, I think they missed procreation with great sex, you know, like, okay, I can't have babies anymore. So I guess my sex life is over. I think that was something that's still in the vestiges of some people's minds, but most women these days are realizing that getting into middle age and beyond is the best sex of their life, because we're finally able to let go of the brow beating. We give ourselves about our body image issues and be like, well, you know, and you don't have to worry about contraceptives anymore and you can just really enjoy yourself. So if you can remove their other roadblocks, like loss of lubrication, painful sex and incontinence, that kind of stuff, that's good but often. And this is one of the things that I was really hoping we could dive into is this notion of matriarchal versus patriarchal sex.
Susan Bratton (05:35):
I feel like we, as women have been having patriarchal sex and there are some very specific opinions I have about what matriarchal sex looks like. And I do believe that our, our partners want to give us the kind of sex we want to have. And the more we can communicate the specifics, the better they can give it to us.
I think that is so key. And I'd love if you would share a little bit more on your thoughts or what are the differences between matriarchal sex versus patriarchal sex. If you don't mind.
I would say generally matriarchal sex is much more seduction all the time. Having kind of a flirty, sexy relationship, a lot of romance, and a lot of touching and holding, a lot of full body touch and butterfly kisses and hair stroking, and really good kissing and lots of breast play and nipple stimulation and Yoni massage and tantalizing and languorous and slow and goalless and spur of the moment of feeling into what your body is saying It wants and feeling confident about asking your partner for it and describing it and having them love, wanting to give that to you, having the, the range from feeling like a kitty cat that needs to be held and petted to being the lioness that wants to ravish and be ravished and turning on a dime in a moment's notice between the two and that being fine as well.
Resiliency, not always having it have to be about intercourse, that if we get there, we get there, but it's not the end game. It's like when I said not goal oriented goal less, I think lots and lots of Yoni massage, clitoral stimulation, oral pleasuring. foot Rob's neck robs. Those I think are really important. And then sometimes partners having a lot of ideas and fantasies and things that they're open to trying and giving you ideas all the time about stuff that you haven't thought of.
Susan Bratton (08:01):
That could be really sexy that you want to try. And also a lot of verbal approval appreciation and encouragement in addition to dirty talk kind of that type of talk that is encouraging us to come telling us how beautiful we are, giving us specifics about it that are different all the time. You know, lots of that, just why they love us, what it is they want us for and why they want us specifically, what's special about us. I think that is a big part of it too. So those are some of the things that I think are, are more matriarchal types of things. I would say in a large part, less performative, less like we're in a porn and more like we are so relaxed, and so just in the flow of the interplay of co-creating orgasm, love that.
Amanda Testa (08:58):
Just even the words, you know, that co-creation of that pleasure and having it be goalless. And ah, so, and then if you would, on the other hand, tell me a little bit more about what the patriarchal sex is.
Susan Bratton (09:11):
I think patriarchal sex is often more along the lines of like very auditory, like lots of moaning they guys, especially in I'm presuming, cause we're talking about the patriarch, we're talking about the masculine and we're talking about males, we're talking about penis owners, but that does not preclude me from just being honorable toward gender spectrum. And the fact that there are people in female born bodies who are actually very masculine, but so, you know, we always have to kind of manage the, the verbiage around the masculine feminine, but I think men like to generally see responsiveness. They like to know they're doing a good job. They like a little bit more of the kind of likes stripper heels and lingerie, sexy dances and floor shows and shaken dat booty. And they like some men, but not all because there are men, of course who have a lot of shame, but there are men who really love performance.
Susan Bratton (10:20):
They want the visual, they want to see they like the mirror. Not that women don't women. I love to look in the mirror when I make love. I love to see my partner making love to me, but they love that kind of auditory visual experience. And everybody's on the spectrum and everybody likes it all. But gross generalization, I would say men are more oriented toward intercourse because they like to have their intercourse orgasm. And because it's a learned skill for most women, most women don't come to intercourse easily. They have to learn how to have those orgasms. And they are a learned skill. All 20 kinds of orgasms are just simply learned skills. You can, you can just cross train right up to learning how to come every time he's inside you. And that's a lot of women think they're just not the kind of girl who can, but she definitely, you definitely no matter who you are can come from intercourse.
Susan Bratton (11:16):
So I'd say probably just also because men, so they are penis in vagina oriented, intercourse oriented, and they also watch a ton of porn. There's nothing we can really do about that, but it's very degrading to women. And so, and it's, it's there to titillate them so that they can ejaculate because they are driven to masturbate on an almost daily basis because they need to keep biologically they're wired to want to keep their sperm topped off. So, you know, they just, they have this kind of testosterone, dominant goal oriented driving force to get that dick in there and have an orgasm. And a lot of stuff gets lost on the wayside because their penis fills up with blood so fast, the hemodynamics in the penis works way better than the hemodynamics and the vulva. We have as much erectile tissue as our male body partners, but it takes us much longer to get engorged and to get our clit boner, if you will. So they're just way ahead of us and they just go faster than we do. And I think that is definitely, I'd say the biggest difference is kind of that fast and slow intercourse versus other things, more romance and full body touching versus just kind of like get er done.
Amanda Testa (12:36):
It's so true. And I love how you shared earlier around, there are so many different types of orgasm and often people will think, oh well, that's great. That's awesome. You know, that that person can have that experience, but that wouldn't be possible for me. Or, you know, like you said, I'm not that kind of girl that can have that experience, but I would love for you to share a little bit more about yes, how it is possible for everyone, if you have the desire. And you know, if you don't, that's fine too. But if you have the desire it is possible and maybe sharing more about all the opportunities for a pleasure available to us.
Susan Bratton (13:07):
This summer, I wrote a 15 week series of cold, 20 kinds of orgasms come with me. I called it, come with me and it was 20 kinds of female and 20 kinds of male orgasms and how you have them all. And there's three different kinds. And there are basically locations you can stimulate in your body that make you come there are physical and emotional, if you will, or verbal techniques that you can use. And then there are tools and objects of desire that also stimulate orgasm. So locations would be things like footgasms, coregasms, clitoral orgasms, G-spot orgasms, prostate orgasms, nipplegasms mouthgasms throatgasms, you know, the, all of that type of thing, you know, and then the techniques are more like female ejaculations, expanded orgasm or erotic hypnosis, and the think offs orgasms on command, stuff like that. And fantasy goes in that category because it's, you're making up stories that are getting you off.
Susan Bratton (14:25):
And then there's the tools and the toys and that's everything from the four kinds of vibrators I think every woman must have so that she can begin to orgasmically cross train so that she can have better orgasms when she's solo and when she's with partners. So they get you, they get all your systems operating together. And then that also can include things like kink toys, you know, floggers and paddles. And it can, it can include things such as foot fetishes. So sexy heels that turn people on is another object of desire. There's lots of clothing, whether it's stripper shoes and lingerie that's objects of desire or latex and things like that. So there's all of those types of things, the toys and the tools and the things that we use to extend our sex extend and expand our sexual capacity. Would you be open to sharing more about the four different tools?
Susan Bratton (15:30):
Totally. Yeah. So there's basically four kinds of sex toys for women. And one of the things that I like about cross training is that when you, I think most women have their go-to vibe or one or two of their, you know, kind of like go-to ones that they always get them off. And I think that's great, but then you end up just kind of getting in a groove and then you end up like the only way I can come as if I use my 37 year old bullet vibrator, right on the top left quadrant of my clit, while I'm holding my breath and squeezing, you know, or whatever, whatever your thing is. And then you don't expand your ability to orgasm. And then it makes it harder when you're with a partner to have all different, all these different types of orgasms. So the four are basically there's the air stimulator, which the most common is the womanizer.
Susan Bratton (16:17):
It's like the clit sucker. And then there's what I would call the lapper, which is more of a, kind of a tonguing movement. And I say the best, one of those out there would be the fun factory Volta, one of my best friends, like that's her number one go-to thing like she does, vibrators are not interesting to her. She loves that Lapper, you know, so there's that. And then there's vibrators. And within the vibrator, there's two big categories. There's the, the buzzy and the rumbling. So the buzzy would be the pocket rocket, the smaller kind of vibrator. And then the rumbly would be like the wand, the big, you know, big grindy rumbly one. And there's a really nice vibrator from hot octopus called the kurve. K U R V E. That's really good because it's got a bass and a treble and it has a G-spot wand too.
Susan Bratton (17:06):
So it's both an external and internal vibrator, but not simultaneously. So that's my fourth category. And my fourth category is the combination internal external vibrator, because your vulva, your female genital system has three different erectile tissue systems in it. There's if you think about, if you imagine a banana and inside that banana, all the fruit of that banana is erectile tissue. It's pretty easy to imagine that that's a penis and that he's got those three big chambers running down his penis that fill up with blood real fast. Like we talked about earlier, but we have all that same amount of erectile tissue. And it's in three systems all around our vaginal opening. We're familiar with the tip of the clitoris or the glands of the clearest with all the nerve endings. But once you've activated your Vulva, once you've gotten all the erectile tissue and gorged or filled with blood, and you've spent a lot of time working all of the, the skin covering that erectile tissue, so that there's lots of neural pathways to your brain because of course your brain is the big organ right? That's the one that's actually making you have orgasms it's feeling and sensing the pleasure and creating the contractions and the expression of orgasm.
And so the three erectile tissue systems are the clitoral structure with the, the glands and the shaft and the little arms and the bigger legs that we've seen, lots of, kind of 3d pictures of on Instagram that drapes over and around the vagina. But then there's the urethral sponge, which people mistakenly called the G-spot. It's a long tube, like one of those little noodles that the kids play with in the pool. And that runs from the opening of our, when you peel open your labia, the inner labia, that's called the vestibule, that internal area from the tip of your clip down where your urine comes out, the urethral exit down to the vaginal opening, which is called the introital sphincter.
Susan Bratton (19:11):
All that is the vestibule and the G-spot actually exits there right around where the urine comes out. There's a G that's like what I call the second G-spot. Everybody thinks it's inside the vagina up on the roof, which it also is because that long tube runs up there. So you've got that erectile tissue. And then between the bottom of the vagina and the rectum, there's a little sponge called the perenial sponge that gets all plumped up, which is why anal. One of the reasons anal sex feels so good. So when you have this fourth kind of vibrator, which is the external internal, some people call it, they started out originally called butterfly vibrators. So you might be familiar with that. My favorite, one of that, and it's kind of a number one vibrator. I recommend to all women as their number one vibrator, they should start with, especially if they're in a relationship with a penis owner, because you want to activate the vagina, as well as the external issue.
Susan Bratton (20:08):
And the only way you can get to the urethral canal and intravaginally is with a sex where that goes inside the vagina, but just having it inside the vagina. It's nice to also have that small piece outside. I said, butterfly, I met rabbit, sorry, the rabbit vibrator, you know what a rat is? It's got the clit tickler and it's got the inside thing. So basically fun factory makes us small and a large version of the rabbit, which is called the ladyby or the misby. I have a giant vagina. So I need the giant one, but many women have tiny little vaginas. Not that they don't all stretch to accommodate. They do. They're a big stretching muscle. They do. They mostly do, but that's the fourth one, which is an internal external. So you've got the, the licky one. You've got the sucky one, you've got the buzzy one and you've got the internal external one.
Susan Bratton (20:59):
And between those four, if you kind of rotate and use them, and you could, you could even call it five because you'd be like, well, I need a bullet and a wand. And I'm like, good on your mama. I got a lot of both of them. So once you've got that panoply of vibrators and you're kind of mixing it up and you're making yourself come with all of those, you're getting a lot of that tissue engorged, You're teaching your blood to pump in there and expand your vulva. And then you're stimulating all that skin inside and outside, and that's increasing the neural pathways. So that the next time you're with a partner, you're just, you're coming so well. And women are like, but I'm going to wear my clit out if I do this too much. And I say, definitely not. I mean, you can, you can blow out your sense of sensation. If you kind of overdrive your, your nervous system, your nervous system needs to be stair-stepped. You need to come take a break, come some more, take a break, come some more, take a break. Then you can come harder and better. That's another important component of what I would consider to be orgasmic cross training. so engorgement, multiple stimulation, devices, and stair-step things. So you don't just put it on level 11. The first time you have an orgasm, you work your way up.
Amanda Testa (22:18):
I love it. And I, I love the idea of cross training. I love it called that because it is, it's so true. If you get into doing one thing the same way all the time, then it's much harder to enjoy other ways. And I'm wondering, do you have any tools that you love that don't vibrate or that are just like the non mechanical kind?
Susan Bratton (22:36):
Yes. As a matter of fact, an orgasmic cross training was taught to me by Sheri Winston who wrote The Women's Anatomy of Arousal and Slow Sexcraft, I think was her other book. And I think The Women's Anatomy of Arousal singularly, one of the most important books ever written about women's pleasure, maybe the most, I mean, I loved come as you are from Emily Nagoski whom you've had on the show, but I think women's anatomy of arousal is the single it's the seminal work on women's arousal and orgasm. And that's where I learned that Sheri taught me orgasmic cross training. So credit where credit is due. I stand on the shoulders of giants and I've been studying sex for 15 years straight. And I've been trained by many of the best as well. Like you have. So we all, I do want to call out Sheri she's, she's just a Marvel of a human.
Susan Bratton (23:27):
And then as far as your question about non vibrating, non, you know, kind of mechanical types of things, I really liked G-spot wands. And my favorite is probably the Njoy pure wand. It's a medical grade stainless steel double ended balls on each end wand. And surprisingly, very few people use it well or correctly. Not surprisingly. They insert it cold instead of warmed up in a sink of warm water. And they don't understand the mechanics of how to draw the wand across the internal urethral sponge inside the vagina. So one of the things that I did was I put together an ebook with a video it's at G-spot joy.com, And I created a video that shows you how to use G-spot wands. So, because if your partner's doing it to you, which is the best way, because then you can just completely surrender to the pleasure and you can squirt your heart out.
Susan Bratton (24:34):
And by the way, all women can enjaculate, It's not urine. It comes from the skenes glands recruited down through your blood plasma, into your urethral canal and you contract. And it's ejected out of both the urethra and little glands on the sides of the urethra that are part of the urethral sponge. And it's a learned orgasmic skill. And the wands are very, very good for it because you really need to be completely relaxed and get enough pressure to expel that liquid. And when you have an ejaculatory orgasm, it's like a cry and an orgasm had a baby. It's an extremely releasing life affirming experience. So if you get that at G-spot joy, you'll get an email from me that says, okay, this is totally explicit. You're going to see a vulva getting wanded, but this is the manufacturers don't make these videos. So they just sell you the thing and you are on your own, because they can't, it's it's explicit. So I make that and I make that available so that people can really learn how to do it well, because having a bad G-spot experience can turn you off for life and having a good one can turn your life.
Amanda Testa (25:58):
I mean, it's so true. And I think, you know, like you say, it's just not having the education or not knowing so many times people just don't know, but that's the thing is you can learn if you have the, if you'd have desire to learn. And I also, yes, I love Sheri Winston and I always talk about her book. She's actually been on the podcast too. And it is, it's so good, but it is the, these are things we're never taught. And I remember when I first read that book, I think I was in my thirties and I was like, wait a minute. I'm like a college educated woman. And I have never known these things, right. We're never taught this.
Susan Bratton (26:26):
Yes, my job is easy. I teach people how to have really great hot heart connected sex. And all I have to do is tell you what to do. You do it. And it works. And you're like, oh my God, that was great. What else do you know? And I'm like, how about one Mozillians things? What you want to know next? You know, so easy. And I've, I've found that just giving people tons of great techniques, little, little shifts that make profound impacts on their sex life, get them realizing that they can be sex champions so easily. And then they get on the path of really enjoying learning new skills. And that's what keeps your sex life hot. That's what keeps you from getting bored. You gotta get out of the rut.
Amanda Testa (27:09):
It's such a difference in your relationship because even if you're by yourself or with a partner, it just, it just enables you to have so much more play. Right. And I feel like that's something that we need a lot more of as adults, because it is how we play, I think, right.
Susan Bratton (27:23):
It's definitely how I play. I use them all my available time to have great sex. I mean, I make dates with my partners and look forward to it and think about what I might want to do. And then when I get to the date, I'm like, well, is that what I still want to do? Or what do I really want to do right now? I'm always listening to my body's intuitive desires in the moment and honoring that rather than having some prescribed plan. I don't mind making plans, but I don't mind breaking them.
Amanda Testa (27:54):
I always credit you. I love the term erotic play date because I think that is so it's a great way to, to phrase it. Tell me a little bit more about the power of the erotic play date, if you don't mind. Sure.
Susan Bratton (28:04):
I really recommend, especially if you want to have great sex and improve your libido, good sex makes you want more sex. When you have more sex, you want even more sex. You just, it builds on itself. It's a, it's a self fulfilling, you know, virtuous cycle, but you have to get it on the books because we're busy. There's a million things that need to be done. I saw this funny thing on Twitter. I don't know the last day or two, I I'm a Twitter freak. I love to be on Twitter and I don't tweet a lot, but I consume a lot of tweets and somebody wrote, don't forget It had a picture of clothes in the dryer and said, don't forget, you've got a load in the dryer. And I was like, I have a load. There's always a load in the dryer.
Susan Bratton (28:46):
There's always a load in the dishwasher. Or if I know, I just got a dishwasher at my house down here in San Diego. I'm like, praise the Lord. I don't have to wash by hand anymore. So, you know, there's always something to do and you have to get it on the calendar. And then when you get it on the calendar, okay. Thursday night around six o'clock, we're going to eat an early dinner and we're going to have a sex date. Okay. What do you think you want to do? Well, for me, I've always got some new vibrators to try because of course I'm a vibrator. You know, I'm a sex toy expert in all honesty. I mean, I know so much about them. I've been recommending them and reviewing them and really helping people find the right ones. That's how come I figured out there's four kinds of sex toys for women and there's others, for sure.
Susan Bratton (29:31):
But those are the four basics for clitoral pleasure. So it's nice to have something or a little list of a running list of things you want to do. Oh, I want to do a lingerie fashion show for you. Oh, I think we should try Susan Bratton's new come full circle sex position. It's a 360 degree, double helix sex position. That even if you're a kind of old and not so nimble, you can still do. And it's a fun date night where you're like, okay, well we're never going to do that again, but we did it. Daddy, man, look it on us. You know, we came full circle. So you have some silly little thing like that. You can get firstname.lastname@example.org. Unfortunately I had to spell it. C U M F U L L C I R C L E come full circle. Cause I don't like C U M as much as I like C O M E but that URL was taken. I love it. Right.
Amanda Testa (30:29):
It's just so fun to like play and, and have those experiences together. Cause you laugh, you know, there's awkward things sometimes, but that just also brings you closer to, you know,
Susan Bratton (30:38):
Right. You have to begin as beginners together. If somebody, if somebody is always the one who's, you know, in the know and the other, person's just the neophyte. It's not as fun as when you're goofing it up and making mistakes together. The mistakes are always the best part.
Amanda Testa (30:54):
I love it. I just laugh. I remember one time we were trying to attempt something and we're like, okay, let's do a dry run. We'll do that. Dry one with our clothes on and see if we can like get even into this position. I love doing stuff like that. It's so fun. I mean, it really is. It's the best. And I think that's one thing that like you were saying earlier, there's always something to do. It's so easy to get caught up in like the rut and feeling like you got to put everyone’s needs first. If you have kids running around or have a hard time finding time. That's why I think that that erotic plated is so key because when you make it a ritual or you make it something that you look forward to, and like you say, you want to be having good experiences there. So you look forward to it.
Susan Bratton (31:29):
You have ship the kids out too, you've got to do babysitting swaps. You don't have to hire a babysitter. A lot of people were like, I don't know, babysitters get expensive. They do. But if you have a kid and your kid, your kid has a friend and you can just do swaps. So where there is a will, there is a way to have erotic play dates every day, not every day, obviously, but once or twice a week, even once a week, a hot sex date where you're trying something new and you're goofing and you're having some fun and you had a glass of wine and you're just enjoying yourself. I mean, it's just, it's what mom and dad need the most.
Amanda Testa (32:05):
It's true. So, oh my goodness. I always love talking to you. You are literally just a treasure trove of knowledge. And I would love if you could share. I know you've shared a lot of great resources already, but you do have just literally a treasure trove of offerings and ways to support people in this area. So where is the best way for people to connect with you and learn more? Well, I've got
Susan Bratton (32:26):
Couple of things you might be interested in, just kind of based on our conversation here. So one of them is I really like something I have called the butterfly warmup. It's four techniques for solo pleasuring that we women can do with ourselves to expand and intensify our orgasmic pleasure. And that's at butterfly warm-up dot com. And then there's another thing that I think is really good. And that's, I did this with Dr. Keesha Ewers. I don't know if you've had her on the show if you had Kesha on, oh yeah, of course you have Kesha. And I did this thing called rewriting your libido story. And I really liked that because what we do is we, there are a lot of us who have had sexual trauma or we're with a partner who's had sexual trauma or shame and what rewriting your libido story. It’s at libidobook.com.
Susan Bratton (33:19):
If it actually helps walk you through her process and my process of what we did and what we recommend, overcome shame and trauma so that you can move through it and become whole like the lucky people who didn't get traumatized. So you can get a new story on your sex life. So that's, I think really good. We talked about G-spot joy. And then if you want to know more about the whole Yoni, all the anatomy and all that stuff, Sheri and I did a video and a book together it's called arousal secrets. It's at arousalsecrets.com. And we walk you through in a little more detail where all these parts are and how to access them and how they like to be pleasured. Because for a lot of, a lot of times, I mean, we can't expect our male body partners to understand how we want our Yoni touched.
And when you hear other women giving you ideas of how to have your Yoni pleasured and where those spots are, it opens it up from being just this kind of like clitoral tip and vaginal hole focused to expanding the playing field in order of magnitude of pleasure. It really increases your pleasure. So I think that's a good one too arousal tips. So those are some of the free things that are probably, you know, most germane to our conversation today that would be of interest to your listeners and they're all free.
You've got your bar coming out and all your supplements in this area too. And is that something that people can find as well on those?
Susan Bratton (35:06):
Yeah. You can find email@example.com. That's where I have all the bars and the pills and the things like that.
The bars aren't available yet, but they're close and that's at the 20 store with flo. The thing that helps get your vagina lubricated, again, a lot of women think it's their hormones that are keeping them from that that's drying up their Yoni, but it's, it's actually not loss of estrogen, thins the tissue of your vagina. But, and you know, I'd be happy to come back sometime whenever you want me back. If you want me to come back for number five any time I'd love to go through just how to reconstitute your vagina. So it's a bomber vagina, and you can have sex all night long and come all night long. That might be a fun show to do. I think so many rejuvenation tricks and techniques that have zero to do with estrogen. Estrogen is one of the lower things on my stack. And there's a lots of things that I would do way before that some tools, red light therapies, treatments, how to know when you need to go to the doctor and get you know, a cleIvana or a femilift or a femiwave or a revive or whatever of the V or when you can stay home and do it yourself with your V fits and your flos and certain tools that I recommend.
Susan Bratton (36:17):
And there's all kinds of Lube choices are important, et cetera. So
Amanda Testa (36:22):
Susan, I always love talking with you and mark just walked by and said Hi, oh Hi Marky Mark!
But I will make sure it's you put where everyone can connect with you in the notes as well. And yes, we'll definitely have to talk more about a bomber vagina in the future as well.
Susan Bratton (36:41):
That'd be a fun episode of the bomber vagina. Yes.
Amanda Testa (36:45):
Thank you again
Susan Bratton (36:47):
All to be with you as always love your show. And I'm actually going to go back and listen to, you said Kasha Urbaniak
Amanda Testa (36:58):
Okay. I can send it to
Susan Bratton (36:59):
You. Yes, no, you don't have to. I can find it. I know how to use the Google. Yeah. I want to check that out. That's great. Good. I, it's always fun to hear who podcasters loved to interview and you've had some amazing people on, so I'm in, I'm in good. I'm amongst the giants.
Amanda Testa (37:16):
Yes. I'm excited. I'm coming up on 200 episodes and about 10 up and about 11 episodes. That is exciting. So I'm going to have to do a big celebration. Yes,
Susan Bratton (37:25):
Most definitely. I look forward to that.
Amanda Testa (37:28):
All right. Thank you, Susan. Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa. And if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden invitation to invite you to reach out. You can contact meat www.amandatesta.com/activate, and we can have a heart to heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook and the group find your feminine fire group. And if you've enjoyed this podcast, please share with your friends, go to iTunes and give me a five star rating, any raving review so I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself. Thank you so much for being a part of the community.