Unleashing Your Goddess Voice and Freeing Your Expression
with Sara Giita Flores
Are you an empathic woman with a message to share? Have you already empowered yourself in many ways?
Why then, do you still find yourself in habits of people-pleasing, doubting your gifts, or dimming your voice?
In this week's podcast, I'm talking with trusted voice coach Sara Giita Flores around what it really takes to heal the hidden blocks that keep you playing small.
Listen in to this episode to discover:
- Why we as humans have a deep need to be seen, heard, and understood, and what stands in the way of this.
- Exploring the Voice Archetypes to Make Yourself Heard
- How to use your physiology to support your expression.
- How to develop safety and confidence when sharing your voice.
- What is your "Goddess Voice" And how to find it and express it.
And much more!
(Complete transcript below)
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Sara Giita Flores transformed her life from a place of trauma-induced silence and shame into one of radiant self-expression. Drawing wisdom from her 16 years as a voice coach, speaker, and singer/songwriter, Sara helps soulful women to speak their truth and spread their message. Her healing work has been featured on NBC News, KGNU Radio, Westword Magazine, and numerous podcasts.
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Amanda Testa (00:02):
Hello and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome.
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If you ever find yourself doubting your gifts or dimming your voice, I find that in this modern world, it can be really easy to struggle around feeling like you can truly express yourself fully.
And I am so thrilled today because I am going to be talking with Sarah Gita Flores. She is an amazing woman, and friend and she has just unleashed a new book called Unleash Your Goddess Voice, Build Your Resilience To Speak Up, Sing Out, And Spread your message. And I am so excited about this interview today because one of the things that, well, you're going to get lots of gems today, but really kind of understanding how important your voice is and how you're going to be able to feel, have some tools to be more seen and heard by the end of this interview today. So welcome. Thank you for being here and welcome Sarah. I'm so happy to be here with you.
Sara Giita Flores (01:51):
Thank you. I'm so excited to connect with your audience.
Amanda Testa (01:56):
Well, a theme I see often with so many women that I work with and just in general, I think our culture really kind of raises women, especially here in the us, to really these others to care for everyone else. And so it can be really easy to have a trouble speaking out or doubting that you have something to share. So I'd love to just start with maybe if you could share a little bit about what inspired you to write this book and why you feel like being able to be seen and heard is so important. Big question. I know.
Sara Giita Flores (02:28):
Yes. So it's interesting because the journey of wanting to write the book started with myself and wanting to heal myself. And over the five and a half years of writing it, it really evolved to being into being something for the reader and for women and in service of the mutual empowerment of all people's voices.
And the reason that I came to this work is because my own voice was tamped down for so long, and it's interesting that I say that because on the outside it looked like I was pretty expressed. I sang a lot, I sing on stage, I did a vocal performance degree. I was in theater. I could project my voice to the back of the room, but all of this was happening at a very surface level. There was a lot of hiding and masking going on because it felt profoundly unsafe to go deeper. It felt like if I revealed my true self, my true voice, I expected my voice to be disrespected, demonized, ignored, and this pattern is relevant to so many women no matter our experiences. So for me, part of that experience was trauma, that I came from a background of experiencing sexual assault that needed to be healed, but part of it was also the experience of being raised in a patriarchy in a system that not just for women but for so many people is based upon oppression.
It gives us this message that it's not safe to speak up and there are real world situations where it's actually physically not safe to speak up. I am lucky to be in a situation where it is safe to speak up. There may be criticism, there may be things like that that we have to deal with, but the basic thread of finding your voice comes from seeing that we get all this conditioning, maybe these personal experiences, inherited trauma, things that make us feel like we have to tamp down narrow doubt ourselves, be self-deprecating, not really rest in our worth, and it makes us express ourselves in a way that's really focused on the outside what will other people think, which can manifest as people pleasing or it can manifest as being just against everything like just defiant for the sake of defiance, which does show an element of strength, and at the same time, it's even more powerful.
You can give yourself a little time and space to tune in to what's inside and say, what do I actually want? What really wants to be expressed through me? What do I want to say? What do I need to say to my partner, to my friends? If you have a business or a creative project, what do I really most want to say in service of my audience? What lights me up? And this is a more starting inside and then sending it outward. This is a really empowered mode of self-expression. When I started to come home to my own authentic, I eventually gave it a name, which is the goddess voice. The goddess voice is your unique upwelling of divinely inspired self-expression. So something that starts inward in the mystical spaces inside you that then gets birthed outward into the world of form. And the more often you can tap this, the more empowered and on fire you will be in your life.
Amanda Testa (06:33):
I am just blown away by your story too and just how much you've lived the example, and I think something that you mentioned earlier really caught my attention when you talked about performance because you are a voice coach and a musician and a writer and all of these things and a coach. But I'm wondering too, when it came to moving from that performative to actually being authentic, what maybe was something that helped you there?
Sara Giita Flores (07:05):
Yes, great question. Yes, I was very much in the, I can show up as a character. So to take it practically, there's a whole chapter in the book about how the way to speak up more authentically is to embrace your wholeness. So for example, for the first 10 years of my career as a voice coach, I really hid my spiritual side. I felt like I had to stay safe. I felt like people would judge me.
And over the last six to seven years as I've been embracing my wholeness more, I've seen that things like shadow work, things like healing and embracing your inner child or all the scared parts inside, what that does is it makes you feel okay inside. So basically I was scared of sharing my spiritual side because I was scared someone would judge me or criticize me, and there was room for that to come in because there was a part of me that judged my spiritual side. There was a part of me that said, you're weird. There was a part of me that criticized to that. So when I had that energy already in myself, that part that was doubting, that was fearing, that was like, oh, maybe this is really weird that I sense energy and I meditate and I do all these things that the mainstream or the generalized other just don't get, then I was scared that people would come at me for that same thing.
And as I've gradually and incrementally learned to first share that truth in safe spaces with people who really understand and support and celebrate me, and then share with little bit bigger groups, like you run amazing groups, for example, where people can share and be authentic and show up as themselves, that then the more and more I start to love those parts of myself instead of judge them or criticize them or ignore them, the more that I felt like I could show them to the world. Because when you heal that in yourself, it's like, well, someone can criticize, but there's no longer a place for it to land. There's not a little part inside that's like, shoot, they were right all along.
Yeah. Then it's just like, well, yeah, people can have their reactions because they're people. When I speak up about things like overcoming trauma or patriarchy, some people are going to get triggered. It's going to bring up all kinds of unhealed stuff in other people, and really it's not about me. When you embrace your wholeness and all those parts of you that feel vulnerable, it creates space for you to show up authentically and feel like you don't have to hide. There's nothing you have to hide. You can choose to keep things private, but that's empowered choice. It's different than feeling like I'll die if they see this.
Amanda Testa (10:10):
I think that's so powerful too. It's like finding those little safe spaces to be yourself with people that are going to accept you is first, right, so that you can be seen in it and be witnessed in it and feel good in that, and then you build your courage and your confidence each step.
Sara Giita Flores (10:30):
Amanda Testa (10:34):
The baby steps are so important because we can't overextend ourselves. I mean, we can, but it often does not work out in our best interests because if you want to have courage, but you also want to do it in ways that are doable and that your nervous system can handle, right?
Sara Giita Flores (10:50):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Otherwise, there's often a shutdown afterward. Yeah, I had that experience in 2018. I gave my first keynote speech at a conference and I shared my story of overcoming sexual trauma, and I was like, I'm ready. I'm out here world. And I was paid generously and treated great, and afterward I felt so vulnerable and it was because I didn't give myself incremental experiences to being seen and heard publicly. I just went all in room full of 500 strangers. Here I am. So it took some rebuilding and repair afterward from that. So expansion definitely works best if you're mindful about what would be the right amount of expansion, what would be the right amount of being seen and heard more boldly for me right now.
Amanda Testa (11:46):
I think that's really important to note too, because also it's normal that we're going to have these expansions and contractions that's normal, but we can kind of be prepared for that when we are incremental about it and also when we know, okay, if I'm doing this big thing on the other side, I might be feeling tender and vulnerable. So how can I really take good care of myself on the other side too? Right?
Sara Giita Flores (12:08):
Amanda Testa (12:11):
Well, I love if you would share a little bit more around, I think something that can be challenging is sometimes people understanding, well, okay, I know I want to be seen and heard. Okay, now I am going to try to do these little incremental steps. But what I am curious, if you could maybe go a little deeper about what you think that need beneath the surface is that people maybe are not wanting to, they want to tap in, but they don't. But it's like that need there. It's that deep need to be seen and heard as humans. Could you speak to that a little, if you don't mind?
Sara Giita Flores (12:45):
We all have a deep human need to be seen and heard. It's how we're wired. We need to be mirrored by others. We need people to see us and acknowledge us and support us and celebrate us. And there is a big move, big push in the self-help, help movement to be completely and self-Validation is so important. Filling up on the inside, telling yourself, knowing you are worthy, reminding yourself it is so important. So I'm not at all discounting that, but if we only focus on that, it can actually cause us to bypass the fact that we do need to be seen and heard by others. I know that for myself, for many years, this unmet need of being seen and heard, played out in things like my music career. I'm going to schedule a concert or I'm going to launch something and not many people show up.
It was like I was looking for that validation from many, many people to come and show me that I was loved. So the thing that we have to be careful about is setting it up so that it's reliable and it's not just dependent on one person. So first of all, yes, you need that sense of inner worthiness, the systems and practices to remind yourself, yes, I am worthy. My voice deserves to be heard. I love myself. And yes, you need to be seen and heard by others. So where can you find therapists, coaches, group spaces, close circles of friends, people who can reflect back to you, your worth, who can show you with so much compassion and kindness if there's maybe a blind spot, rather than just calling it out in a hurtful kind of way. So again, those are those incremental steps. The other factor is about being seen and heard that I've observed, tested to with your energy.
So we are all communicating things all the time with our voice and with our bodies, but we're also communicating it with our energy. And very often there's kind of mixed messages. So maybe my voice is saying, I'm setting a boundary right now and you need to hear me, but my energy is kind of like, oh, do I really get to set boundaries? Oh, I think somebody's going to tread over this, what my past experience is. So in observing this in myself, I was looking for a way to start teaching this to my clients because I help people get on stage to speak, to sing, to share their message, and it's hard to describe energy. So that's where with some meditation, I came up with these four voice archetypes, and the voice archetypes are to help us be seen and heard. They're to help us master our energy for being seen and heard.
And I've noticed that often there's this big kind of tendency and need to put up walls of protection, a big shell. I liken it to wearing a lot of coats or scarves, lots and lots of layers to the pad you to feel like protection. So we can have this kind of closed off energy a lot of the time, whether we want to share something important with our partner, whether we want to share it with a friend, whether we want to share it in a blog post or video or something, even more widespread like that. And so the first of the four archetypes to help us understand when we want to close down our energy, when we want to open up to be seen is the tortoise. So there's four archetypes, the tortoise, the ladybug, the lioness, and the goddess. So the primary energetic feature of the tortoise is this heavy protective shell.
The tortoise can just come inside, tuck its head and tuck its legs in and be safe. And if you come in consciously, the tortoise energy can be really healing because sometimes we just need to feel like, oh, I have protection. I don't need to be seen. I don't need to be hurt. I can come inside. This might be healthy if you just had a big launch or something vulnerable happen. If you fight with your partner, you can go curl up in your bed with a blanket for a little bit. Let yourself be nurtured. Let yourself have that inward unprotected. I don't need to be open to other people's energies. The thing with tortoise though is that if you're stuck here, it's so exhausting. It's like you're carrying around this heavy shell, all these layers of protection, all these walls, and it can just feel like you're hiding.
So there are times when you might want to open up a bit more, and that's where the ladybug archetype comes in. So if you think about ladybugs, I remember when I was a child, I did not yet know that lady ladybugs could fly. And the first time I did, I thought it was a different insect. I was like, wow, where did those wings come from? So the ladybug has these protective wing casings called Elijah. Those are the really cute red or orange spotted wing casings. And when it wants to fly, those wing casings open up and these glorious thin, but strong black wings come up, come out. So the lady book can go wherever it needs to go. And so the energetic feature for us of ladybug energy is being able to open up at a moment's notice. It's like, well, sometimes we need a little protection.
Sometimes I can just close up those wing casings. But if you imagine that maybe you had double doors in front of you and that when you felt ready to be seen and heard, you could swing them open and say Hello world, then that's ladybug energy. It's saying, you know what? Right now I can open up. It's like doing a little shimmy. Here I am. I'm on stage, I'm in the spotlight. Even if you're just speaking with a friend. And then when the time's right, you just bring that casing over, bring your wings back in, and you're kind of back in that I'm hiding. I got a little protection. You don't know all the glorious things about me that can sometimes be revealed. So ladybug energy is really fun. Yeah, it seems like you want to, I'm talking a lot, so you tell
Amanda Testa (19:44):
Me. No, I was just going to say I love that visual. Just I can just sense that Hello world opening the doors, here I am, and then going back. And I love that visual of the ladybug
Sara Giita Flores (19:55):
In the week. Yes, yes, absolutely. So the ladybug energy, it is really fun. I've spent so much time here. I've had clients who are really comfortable with the ladybug energy. And by the way, these archetypes are not linear. There are times when we revisit them, it's circular. There are times when we want to come back to the medicine of the tortoise. And yet the ladybug does have a downside, which is that she's easy to overlook ladybugs, they're small, they're cute, they're glorious, and yet they're easy to not be seen. Sometimes it's appropriate for us to have something even more commanding that says, I will be seen. I will be heard. I know I'm worthy of it. And that's where the lioness archetype comes in. So the primary energetic feature of the lioness is that she is self filling. She fills up for me inside. She fills her own needs.
She is a res, she is strong, she is feared, she is revered. And when you're in lioness energy, it's like I don't need any layers of protection, right? Because I'm fierce. I'm strong. I don't need any walls in front of me. I'm just so overflowing. And I have felt the lioness energy before on stage, and it is powerful. People sit on the edge of their chairs, they listen, they are raptured. And when you in a situation where perhaps you want to set a boundary that with some flexibility but also some strength, there's times when I don't even need to say a word, but when I call upon that lioness energy, it's like suddenly a person who used to criticize me, just not even trying, they're just not going there because my energy is communicating to them. Nope, I won't tolerate that. So the lioness is a really empowering archetype, and I visited a lot and encourage clients too.
And there can be a downside, which is it can feel isolating because you're so focused on filling up from the inside and you're so focused on confidence and radiating it outward. But there are times when I prefer to choose the energy of the goddess archetype, and the goddess archetype is focused on opening yourself as a channel, a conduit for whatever wants to come through, however you relate to the divine. When you say, I am an open space, I'm an open vessel for something to come through as a gift for myself and everyone who receives my voice, that is the goddess archetype.
Amanda Testa (22:57):
I love that. Can you share a story perhaps of when you felt in that archetype energy and how that played out?
Sara Giita Flores (23:07):
So early on in the Pandemic, when we were all like, what is going on doing all of these virtual things, I had an experience. My husband and I chant mantra music together. He plays the guitar, we both sing, and we got invited to do a chanting song for an online gathering. And the chanting is quite simple in the tradition that we do. So it's repetitive, and that's a great Petri dish for me to explore energy and offering and opening myself as a channel. And I felt myself in this circle of light. It was this kind of cylinder coming down as I really offered myself to please use me for the highest good and the highest good of all. And spontaneously, I felt like even though this was being prerecorded, I felt like I was connected to the people who were listening. I felt as if we were in this big circle and Mother Earth was holding us, really holding the space, blasting everyone.
So it's like this circle of light expanded and it is a humbling and beautiful experience to be a steward for the light. And often my mind every once in a while will be like, wow, is this real? Or wow, you're so powerful. And then it's just a reminder, oh, this is something bigger coming through. This is not me, it's not mine. This is grace and it is a blessing to be a vehicle for it to be amplified here on this earthly plane. So yeah, in the book, I actually go through a practice to find your own way of being a facilitator of this collective energy.
Amanda Testa (25:09):
I was just feeling like chills on my arms as you were saying that. It is such a powerful thing when you can open to that channel and kind of let go of your ego or whatever you want to call it and just allow, and to be able to call that in to trust it. It's so beautiful. And it's interesting too, because I can notice that happen often when I'm teaching or if I'm leading something and then afterwards you're like, I don't necessarily remember everything that happened. It's going to just, but it's great. And it's funny, I was listening to a podcast the other day where I think it was Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about how when people have these divine bursts, it can be like, it just feels so effortless. It's just kind of flowing through. But also at the other side, you might be like, I don't know where that came from, but it was pretty amazing. I don't know. Do you ever notice that happening?
Sara Giita Flores (26:02):
Yes. And sometimes it's disorienting. Also, a few years ago I had an experience of oneness and I felt so shaky and ungrounded afterward. So it goes back to that incremental piece that we talked about, that your nervous system and your body does really well. If you're really gentle with your pace and saying, oh, I want a little bit of a taste of what is it like to be a conduit? What is it like to speak as a channel? Maybe just a few words in the mirror, maybe something loving in the mirror, maybe with someone I really trust. And then you practice that art of being seen and heard. You practice the art of feeling like it's not just me. It's not just my ego doing this, but there's something that I'm allowing to come through.
Amanda Testa (26:58):
I'm wondering too, when it comes to, I know this happens a lot with people that really, maybe they're type, maybe it's just like women in our culture. They're like, we're going to get these things done yesterday. I'm going to just express myself and be done yesterday. So I'm curious what advice you might have for those who might be listening and be like, yes, and I need this now. What kind of offering can you give to those listeners?
Sara Giita Flores (27:24):
Well, in some regards, you already have it all within you. You don't need a coach or a book or anything to express yourself fully because that potential is always in you. It's like a blueprint, your worth, your power, your desire to bring things outward and share them that's within. And yet things like going at a pace, getting support, reading guides from people who've been there. These can make it a lot more doable, a lot more fun, a lot more sense of safety in your body. So if you wanted it yesterday, I would say you're awesome. You have a lot of vigor, you have a lot of desire to be fully expressed, to be in joy. And I'm somebody who has felt like the universe definitely has its own ideas for me, and they don't usually match up with the timing of what I want. I want things down to, and there is, I think it's a both ands embracing that, yeah, I have this desire. I want to be there now. And in some ways you already are enough. You are already are healed enough, and yet you will still be on a healing journey. So that's true. And at the same time, it's also true that your body, your divine soul, your nervous system will have their own pace. And the more that you can kind of bring those two together, hold them each in a hand like, oh, I want this now and now I can just lunge my new podcast to a hundred thousand people tomorrow.
And the other part that's like, hmm, maybe we want a little time to integrate. Maybe we want to practice it with a few people we love and share the ideas. And that if you can just let them both be there, then they will, you'll find more peace that way.
Amanda Testa (29:38):
I love that, just that trusting the timing and the two things are true at the same time. I think that is such a powerful concept to grasp when you're able to do that, because it can be really hard sometimes. And so I think that just helps make things more approachable, right? Yes. So I'm wondering maybe if there's maybe anything else that you feel is an important thing if someone's listening and like, well, I really want to be more visible. I want to be able to share my voice. Maybe. What else can I do? Maybe, is there one more tip you can offer?
Sara Giita Flores (30:20):
Yes. So we've talked about moving incrementally, going at your pace. We've talked about relating to your energy. And I think the other piece that can really help is the physiology, how you actually use your voice, even if what you want to do is something like writing. So when we are standing tall and proud, we're communicating with our body posture. We're also creating a lot of great space for the instrument of our voice to be aligned. So our voice can come out freely and easily without being crunched or crumpled or obstructed in some way. So tuning in with your physiology and your breathing is something that I work with clients on, especially working with your diaphragm. So the diaphragm is always involved when you are breathing. It's always, always involved. So there's not like, here's diaphragmatic breathing and here's regular breathing. The thing with what I often call diaphragmatic breathing, which is ideal for speaking up as well as for singing, is that you're getting conscious control over the diaphragm.
So basically it's this huge muscle, kind of like a dinner plate that's rest beneath your ribs, and the diaphragm initiates breath, so it moves downward a bit, becomes a less domed shape, and then the air just rushes in, so it creates a vacuum, and air just comes in so effortlessly and the nourishment that you receive from the air also comes effortlessly. So the diaphragm is just amazing doing all these things for us. And then when you want to speaker sing, it's advantageous to send your air out in a steady stream. So if we're kind of giving it in fits and spurts, then we might not always have that strong vocal tone. And it also gives us that strong sense of energy if we are using our diaphragm to send our sound outward and noticing that our sound and our voice starts deep within, it doesn't start just in our throat. It's not just about the throat chocolate, it's not just about the larynx. It actually starts down here with the breath. And so having that aligned tall posture as well as getting tuned in with your diaphragm, which is a process, then that can give you more of a sense of strength and your voice is there for you.
Amanda Testa (32:56):
I love that. I think it's so beautiful too, how you weave in all so many different elements because it is, it's not just one thing. It's like we have to use all of us to be whole and to share that wholeness with others.
Sara Giita Flores (33:11):
Yes. So good. Hallelujah.
Amanda Testa (33:17):
And I would love for you to share where everyone can connect with you and find your book, but before we do that, I'd love to just maybe, is there a question that you wished that I would've asked that I didn't ask, or any last words you really want to make sure that the listeners take in?
Sara Giita Flores (33:35):
Well, I would like everyone to know deep in your bones that your voice matters and you deserve to be seen and heard, and you can learn to feel safe being seen and heard on any level you choose, this is doable, and it's actually a capacity that you have within him already just waiting to be expressed.
Amanda Testa (34:01):
Yes. Oh, thank you so much, Sarah, for being here. And I would love if you would share it more like where everyone can find your book and connect with you. And yeah, I'm just celebrating you too. We were just talking before we started recording is I've known Sarah for a while and just really celebrating the hard work it is to put a book into the world and just huge now to be on the other side of it and getting to celebrate and support you in launching this book to the world. So congratulations.
Sara Giita Flores (34:30):
Thank you. It is amazing. So the book is called Unleash Your Goddess Voice, and as of now, it's the only book titled that out there. So it will be the first in your search results if you just want to go that way. So search for Unleash Your Goddess Voice. You can also find updated links for where to purchase the ebook in the print book at books to read. So that's books. And then a number two and read like R EAD slash Goddess voice. So books to Read slash Goddess Voice will give you all the links for where to purchase it. Or you can also look on my website, which is sarah gita.com. And Gita is an unusual spelling. It has two eyes, just like I have two eyes on my face. So it's S-A-R-A-G-I-T a.com.
Amanda Testa (35:23):
Beautiful. Well, I'll make sure as well to put all of this in the show notes so that listeners can connect with you. And also, if you're listening, I'll invite you to maybe just see what is one gym that you've taken from this podcast, or what is one way, one thing that you might want to implement and hit us up on Instagram and let us know. You can reach out to me at Ab Testa, and that's where I am on Instagram and I love to hear feedback. So let me know how this episode landed and what you're taking away. And thank you so much again, Sarah, for being here and for all you listening, thank you. Thank you. And we will see you next week.
Sara Giita Flores (35:59):
There is one important thing to say, Amanda, which is The Pleasure Foundation is amazing. If you've all heard about this at the beginning of the podcast and you're kind of like, oh, maybe it's so worth it. I love it. And you will get so much into your feeling good and pleasure and in incremental ways by working with Amanda. So highly recommend.
Amanda Testa (36:23):
Well, thank you so much. Yes. So you can find out more about that amanda tested.com/tpf. And I just, I'm so grateful for you, Sarah, and thank you for being here. And for all of you listening, we'll see you next time. Have a beautiful rest of your day or evening, wherever you are in the world. Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa, and if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden invitation. I invite you to reach out. You can contact email@example.com slash activate, and we can have a heart to heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook and the Group Finder Feminine Fire Group. And if you've enjoyed this podcast, please share with your friends. Go to iTunes and give me a five star rating and a raving review so I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself. Thank you so much for being a part of the community.