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Leaping Big In Life And Love With Gay Hendricks

April 15, 2024

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Leaping Big In Life And Love with Gay Hendricks

With Amanda Testa

Are you ready to manifest your next level life and relationship?

If you’re looking to find out what it really takes to go beyond your happiness ceiling and experience the joys of life in deeper ways, you are in for a very special treat this episode.

Today I’m  talking with the incredible Gay Hendricks, PhD and we are going to dive into what it takes to bring forth your genius in your life and relationships. 

As a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body mind therapies for more than 45 years, Dr. Hendricks and his wife Katie have written more than 40 books, trained thousands of coaches, appeared on Oprah, and hosted seminars around the globe.

In this episode, we are going to be diving into:

What is your “Genius Zone” and how to access it, the common “Upper Limit Problems” that hold us back in life and in our relationships, balancing closeness and individuation, and daily practices to help you live more in your zone of genius.

Dr. Hendricks reflects on 44 years with his wife Katie, and shares some powerful advice to a successful, conscious love filled relationship.

He also shares more about his newest book, Your Big Leap Year.

Remember, you deserve to experience vibrant, fulfilling love, intimacy, and connection in your life.  And you CAN get there in a way that feels good for you.

Gay Hendricks has served for more than 30 years as one of the major contributors to the fields of relationship transformation and bodymind therapies. Along with his wife, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, Gay is the author of many bestsellers, including Conscious Loving, At The Speed Of Life, The Big Leap, and the New York Times bestseller, Five Wishes.

Dr. Hendricks received his Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Stanford in 1974. After a twenty-one-year career as a professor at University Colorado, he founded The Hendricks Institute, and later co-founded its charitable organization, Foundation for Conscious Living.  Throughout his career he has done executive coaching with more than 800 executives, including the top management at such firms as Dell Computer, Hewlett Packard, Motorola and KLM. His book, The Corporate Mystic, is used widely to train management in combining business skills and personal development tools. 

Learn more and connect with Dr. Hendricks and the Hendricks Institute HERE.

Are you ready to take the next step in bringing back the passion to yourself + your relationship?

If you are ready to take the next step in reigniting your passion and enhancing your relationship then book your Free consultation call here.

Transcript available HERE

About Your Host:

My name is Amanda Testa, and I’m a Sex, Love, and Relationship Expert + Trauma Resolution Guide.

My goal is to support you to heal your relationship to your sexuality so you can eliminate shame and guilt, own your sexy confidence, feel like a Goddess/Goddex in your skin, and have the deeply connected relationships you desire.

My unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method™ combines the latest in neuroscience and somatic healing with ancient practices to facilitate rapid and lasting transformation.  I’m also a Mama to a spunky 11 year old,  Wife to my sexy hubs, and lover of outdoor adventure and live music. 


I believe deep in my soul is that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. 

I believe your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality.

When we own our sexual power our pleasure and creativity flourishes.  Our confidence and body image soars.

Our relationships deepen.

And when you can connect to that power in yourself, it’s life-changing.

Amanda Testa

Sex And Relationship Coach + Trauma Resolution Guide Helping Women Embody Shameless Pleasure In the Bedroom + Beyond

About Me

Get Your Sensual Activation Kit!

Sign up here to receive your free Sensual Self Discovery Journal, Self Love Meditation, And Activation Practice! 

Get It Here!

Pssstttt…I’m now booking coaching clients for 1-1 support in creating the relationship and pleasure of their dreams.

If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk! Click to book a free call to see if we’re a fit.

Book Your Call HERE

© Copyright Amanda Testa LLC.  All Rights Reserved

Why A Checklist Won’t Get Your Libido Back with Amanda Testa

April 9, 2024

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Why A Checklist Won’t Get Your Libido Back

With Amanda Testa

The truth is…You can’t “checklist” your way to better sex.

If you’re a high-achieving woman who has tried all the checklists and quick tips for better sex but still feels disconnected from your sensuality, this podcast episode is for you. As a renowned sex and relationship coach, in this week’s episode I get real about why checklists alone don’t work for reclaiming sexual desire and intimacy.

Tune in as I explain the difference between making a nurturing checklist to revel in your Feminine Fire versus an ineffective checklist of big goals like “eliminate shame around sex.” While checklists can be motivating, they fall short when it comes to deep healing and embodiment work.

Awakening sexuality is a process, not something you can quickly check off. It requires compassion, curiosity about your desires, and maybe even expert guidance tailored to your needs. But the rewards are a life-changing sense of aliveness, confidence, and intimate connection.

If you’ve been stuck on the hamster wheel of checklists and quick tips, this podcast will inspire you to slow down and do the real inner work. Sustainable change comes from listening to your body’s language and existing in the present moment instead of rushing towards goals. Tune in for tips reconnecting to your Feminine Fire in a way that feels grounded, joyful and sustainable.

Remember, you deserve to experience vibrant, fulfilling love, intimacy, and connection in your life.  And you CAN get there in a way that feels good for you.

Are you ready to take the next step in bringing back the passion to yourself + your relationship?

If you are ready to take the next step in reigniting your passion and enhancing your relationship then book your Free consultation call here.

Listen In To Discover:

What are good items for a Sensual Self Care Checklist: What are the top 5 ways a checklist could be beneficial?What things aren’t gonna work with a checklist: learn how to shift sex from a chore to a pleasurable and anticipated activity, why it doesn’t happen overnight, and why checking “buy red panties” off the list isn’t gonna do it.The Power of A Holistic Approach to Intimacy:  Why nurturing not just the physical body but also the emotional and spiritual parts of yourself can cultivate a deeper sense of intimacy and connection, and how to balance the business of life with your sensual and emotional needs.Transcript available HERE

About Your Host:

My name is Amanda Testa, and I’m a Sex, Love, and Relationship Expert + Trauma Resolution Guide.

My goal is to support you to heal your relationship to your sexuality so you can eliminate shame and guilt, own your sexy confidence, feel like a Goddess/Goddex in your skin, and have the deeply connected relationships you desire.

My unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method™ combines the latest in neuroscience and somatic healing with ancient practices to facilitate rapid and lasting transformation.  I’m also a Mama to a spunky 11 year old,  Wife to my sexy hubs, and lover of outdoor adventure and live music. 


I believe deep in my soul is that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. 

I believe your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality.

When we own our sexual power our pleasure and creativity flourishes.  Our confidence and body image soars.

Our relationships deepen.

And when you can connect to that power in yourself, it’s life-changing.

Amanda Testa

Sex And Relationship Coach + Trauma Resolution Guide Helping Women Embody Shameless Pleasure In the Bedroom + Beyond

About Me

Get Your Sensual Activation Kit!

Sign up here to receive your free Sensual Self Discovery Journal, Self Love Meditation, And Activation Practice! 

Get It Here!

Pssstttt…I’m now booking coaching clients for 1-1 support in creating the relationship and pleasure of their dreams.

If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk! Click to book a free call to see if we’re a fit.

Book Your Call HERE

© Copyright Amanda Testa LLC.  All Rights Reserved

Kicking Fear And Shame Out Of The Bedroom with Amanda Testa

April 3, 2024

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Kicking Fear And Shame Out Of The Bedroom

With Amanda Testa

Today’s episode is a powerful exploration into the ways fear and shame can hinder us from embracing our sexuality and creating fulfilling connections.

Tune in to today’s episode of The Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast as I confront the common barriers of fear and shame that often impede our journey towards sexual fulfillment and deep connection. 

Drawing from years of experience, we’ll explore the roots of these challenges and how to overcome them.

Fear and shame can manifest in various ways, affecting everyone. From societal stigma to personal insecurities, we unpack the common fears that hold us back from embracing our desires and owning our sexuality.

This journey towards sexual empowerment requires patience and self-compassion. We emphasize the importance of taking small steps and learning to listen to our bodies’ needs and desires.

Are you ready to take the next step in bringing back the passion to yourself + your relationship?

If you are ready to take the next step in reigniting your passion and enhancing your relationship then book your Free consultation call here.

Listen In To Discover:

Unveiling Sexual Shadows: Why things such as pain, people pleasing, lack of education and more are some of the drivers of fear and shame, and what to do about it.Social Conditioning: Why sex is so taboo in our culture, and how fear holds people back from enjoying their experiences The Truth About Sex Coaching, It’s probably not what you think: Gain insights into misconceptions about doing this type of coaching, and what sessions actually entail.Empowerment Through Education: Learn some little know facts about epic intimacy, and the transformative power of understanding your body and pleasure.Steps to Radiance: We’ll wrap up with actionable strategies to integrate this newfound knowledge into daily life, enhancing your intimate life starting tonight.Transcript available HERE

About Your Host:

My name is Amanda Testa, and I’m a Sex, Love, and Relationship Expert + Trauma Resolution Guide.

My goal is to support you to heal your relationship to your sexuality so you can eliminate shame and guilt, own your sexy confidence, feel like a Goddess/Goddex in your skin, and have the deeply connected relationships you desire.

My unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method™ combines the latest in neuroscience and somatic healing with ancient practices to facilitate rapid and lasting transformation.  I’m also a Mama to a spunky 11 year old,  Wife to my sexy hubs, and lover of outdoor adventure and live music. 


I believe deep in my soul is that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. 

I believe your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality.

When we own our sexual power our pleasure and creativity flourishes.  Our confidence and body image soars.

Our relationships deepen.

And when you can connect to that power in yourself, it’s life-changing.

Amanda Testa

Sex And Relationship Coach + Trauma Resolution Guide Helping Women Embody Shameless Pleasure In the Bedroom + Beyond

About Me

Get Your Sensual Activation Kit!

Sign up here to receive your free Sensual Self Discovery Journal, Self Love Meditation, And Activation Practice! 

Get It Here!

Pssstttt…I’m now booking coaching clients for 1-1 support in creating the relationship and pleasure of their dreams.

If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk! Click to book a free call to see if we’re a fit.

Book Your Call HERE

© Copyright Amanda Testa LLC.  All Rights Reserved

FYFF RELAUNCH EPISODE 286

March 26, 2024

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What Does It Mean To Find Your Feminine Fire?  And How It Transforms Your Relationships

With Amanda Testa

Find Your Feminine Fire Pod is Glowing UP and Celebrating 6 Years!

Welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast, where we are celebrating six years of empowering women to reconnect with their inner spark, and have epic sex and relationships!

Join us as we relaunch the podcast with a deep dive into what it truly means to find your Feminine Fire and why it’s such a transformative journey.

In this episode, we explore the significance of finding your feminine fire in today’s fast-paced world. Amidst the chaos of daily life and societal pressures, reconnecting with our inner fire becomes essential for personal growth, fulfillment, and empowerment. We delve into the journey of self-discovery, embracing sexuality, nurturing relationships, and prioritizing self-care.

The Find Your Feminine Fire podcast aims to create a safe space for listeners to explore taboo topics, embrace curiosity without shame, and embark on a journey of self-discovery. By distilling valuable insights and resources, this podcast empowers you to implement positive changes and cultivate a life aligned with your desires.

Finding your feminine fire is not just about personal transformation—it’s about reclaiming your power, embracing your authenticity, and igniting a brighter future for yourself and those around you.

Are you ready to take the next step in bringing back the passion to yourself + your relationship?

If you are ready to take the next step in reigniting your passion and enhancing your relationship then book your Free consultation call here.

Listen In To Discover:

What it means to Find Your Feminine Fire, and the benefits you’ll enjoy when you do. What you can do to open your heart at even deeper levels to enjoy more love and connection with your partner, and why we have so many blocks to this. What it means to embrace and love your sexuality.What my intention is for the podcast, and how to get the most out of  the episodes.And Much More!Transcript available HERE

About Your Host:

My name is Amanda Testa, and I’m a Sex, Love, and Relationship Expert + Trauma Resolution Guide.

My goal is to support you to heal your relationship to your sexuality so you can eliminate shame and guilt, own your sexy confidence, feel like a Goddess/Goddex in your skin, and have the deeply connected relationships you desire.

My unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method™ combines the latest in neuroscience and somatic healing with ancient practices to facilitate rapid and lasting transformation.  I’m also a Mama to a spunky 11 year old,  Wife to my sexy hubs, and lover of outdoor adventure and live music.

I believe deep in my soul is that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development.

I believe your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality.

When we own our sexual power our pleasure and creativity flourishes.  Our confidence and body image soars.

Our relationships deepen.

And when you can connect to that power in yourself, it’s life-changing.

Amanda Testa

Sex And Relationship Coach + Trauma Resolution Guide Helping Women Embody Shameless Pleasure In the Bedroom + Beyond

About Me

Get Your Sensual Activation Kit!

Sign up here to receive your free Sensual Self Discovery Journal, Self Love Meditation, And Activation Practice!

Get It Here!

Pssstttt…I’m now booking coaching clients for 1-1 support in creating the relationship and pleasure of their dreams.

If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk! Click to book a free call to see if we’re a fit.

Book Your Call HERE

© Copyright Amanda Testa LLC.  All Rights Reserved

Leaping Forward Into The Epic Love Story You Desire

March 1, 2024

Leaping Forward into your epic love story.

Tune in for a quickie pod on leaping forward into the love story you desire.

Discover what typically holds us back, and how to commit to expanding your love story with yourself, and your partner.

And learn more about an exciting announcement!!!!

Listen below, or tune in via: Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your fave pod player.

(Complete transcript below)

JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.

If you are a fan of the podcast, I’m curious if you would be willing to help me with something…. would you please be a part of my “Turn On Team” ?

We are celebrating 6 YEARS of the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast in March, and I’m planning an epic relaunch to mark the occasion!!

Here’s where the magic happens, and you play the starring role.   What is the “Turn On Team” you ask?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to sprinkle your love and sparkle on our upcoming posts about the launch. 

What’s in it for you? HUGE PRIZES!  By simply joining the team here, you’re already in the running.  

Keep an eye out for my upcoming announcements on how writing a review or engaging in other fun activities can multiply your chances to win!

Your voice, your energy, and your support could truly make waves as we embark on this exciting journey together. Your contribution helps create the spark that sets the community ablaze with excitement and connection.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your unwavering support. 

Much Love and Infinite Gratitude,

Amanda

Want more support from Amanda? Schedule a confidential 1-1 call with Amanda⁠ here.

In this 45 min call, we’re going to identify your #1 block to pleasure, why it’s showing up in the way it is, and what to do to turn it around. ⁠⁠After doing this work for almost a decade, I can quickly identify the patterns holding you back, and show you the steps to change it. ⁠⁠Permission to reach out even if it feels scary. Permission to reach out even if you aren’t even sure you want to do this work. Permission to reach out to explore if this is right for you, no strings or pushy sales tactics here.⁠

If you liked this episode, please consider giving me a 5 Star Review on Apple Podcasts! It truly does help the podcast grow. 

Speaker 1 (00:01):Hello and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome, hello, and we are on the cusp of a new leap year. Today is February 29th, 2024. As I record this, and I am excited because I feel this momentum of change in all kinds of ways and change can also be a very challenging time, a painful time. An awakening can feel scary, yet it’s also a very powerful and exciting time, and I feel this desire to really leap in and be open. And I am wanting to share a couple of things with you because I think as we enter into these opportunities for looking at things in a new light, there are powerful mindset shifts that can really help with regards to reclaiming your feminine fire, having better relationships, feeling more connected to yourself and your partner.(01:14):And as we move into this time, I’m curious for you what feels like something you’re ready to say yes to, what feels like something you’re ready to leap into? And I had the pleasure this morning of interviewing Gay Hendricks who wrote the book The Big Leap. It’s such a powerful time because we can make commitments, be willing to make changes and start to see the results very soon. And so I think this is an important thing to ask yourself, right? I’m making a lot of changes in my own life and my own business, and I’m excited to share. You probably have heard that I’m going to be doing a relaunch of the podcast soon, which is so exciting. And as you can imagine, it has been a ton of work. So you will notice there hasn’t been quite as many episodes, but we’re going to get back to our weekly rotation very soon with a lot of fun new things.(02:02):And as I mentioned that, that reminds me that I’m going to send out a little request to you pod squatters out there that are regular listeners and that are open to supporting me. I’m going to be having a really fun giveaway, and if you would like to participate, I’m going to invite you, if you want to be on the Turnon team that’s really behind this relaunch and sharing the word about the podcast, maybe some things you’ve experienced that you’ve enjoyed about the podcast. Maybe if you haven’t done a review yet and you want to do a review that really does help the podcast get out to more people, then it would mean the world to me if you would join me and be on the Turnon team. So how do you join? You can go to amanda testa.com/turnon team, amanda testa.com/turnon team, and you can be part of that energy, of that excitement, of that aliveness, of bringing even more awesome interviews and insights on how to find your feminine fire, reclaim your sensual spark, and create the epicSpeaker 2 (02:58):Relationships that you desire. And on this note, there’s going to be some really great giveaways. So I’m going to have all kinds of fun gift baskets. They’re going to be really great prizes, including a Lilo vibrator, including some amazing books, some gifts from some of the previous guests, as well as a lot of other fun surprises along the way. So I’ll invite you to join me at again, amanda tesa.com/turn on team. All right. Okay, back to the leap leaping forward in 2024. So I’ll invite you when it comes to your relationship and you wanting to make some changes, maybe thinking, what is it that I want to call in? What are the experiences I want to enjoy with my partner? What are the things I want to feel in my body? What are the memories I want to make as I look into these next four years with my partner?(03:49):Sometimes we can get so in the weeds that we forget that we are in it together and that we might have shared goals. I talked about this at the beginning of the year, setting those intentions for your year. But as you look, it’s sometimes fun to think about the four year patterns of your life. I was amazed when I took a look at this because I hadn’t really thought about it. And as I was looking at the past few leap years, it’s pretty amazing when you look back on your life, what you can celebrate. I think we don’t do that enough for ourselves. So even just thinking that right now we’re 20, 24, we can think back to 2020, what was going on for you? I know it was my husband had just had a stroke. There was a lot of craziness happening. Kids were homeschooling.(04:35):There was a lot. It was a challenging time. And to think now or oh, what an amazing gift to be on the other side of that. Then I think, okay, what was four years before that? Oh, well, let’s think. I started my business almost like I was 2016. I started my business a year before. So that was another huge chapter of my life. Started my business October of 2015, and then what was four years before that? Well, my daughter was born. So you can see when you look, it makes me laugh too. If you think about high school, I remember there was four years of high school felt like an eternity, like freshman to senior, all the big experiences you would have every year. And as we get older, time just kind of, it’s different. 10 years can fly by in an instant, and we used to think those four years were so long.(05:23):So it’s fun to think about, okay, right now you’re stepping into these next four years. What’s the energy that you want to bring in? Who do you want to be as you step into these next four years, how if you were to be your most sensual self, what might that look like for you? What aspects of yourself might you need to befriend? What aspects of yourself might you need to have some healing with? What aspects of yourself might you need to celebrate more? What aspects of yourself might need to lead the show a little bit more? Right? The most empowered partSpeaker 3 (05:56):Of the most enlivened, highest version of you, there’s that part of you is inside of you. And so if you could take a moment even just right now and connect to that empowered part, this is the part of you that is, it’s got your highest good in mind. It wants what’s best for the collective, including you, right? It really has that vision of you living your life to the best that you can, living in your zone of genius, giving your gifts to the world because the more of us that are giving our gifts fully to the world, the better world, world will be right? Heart-centered leaders, heart-centered people, people doing good in the world, right? Yes. There’s always going to be that shadow side as well. And the more we actually embrace those aspects of ourselves, the more old we will be. Right? It can be really easy to shun different parts of ourselves and tell ’em, yeah, I want no part of that.(06:55):But it’s just like a kid who wants your attention that you’re trying to say no to. They’re going to get louder and more and more annoying and more obnoxious until you give them the attention they want. It’s true with other parts of us as well. So it’s really important for us to take a look at all the aspects of ourselves and find a way to bring all of them to the table. I love the theory of having them all come together, and that’s what creates more wholeness. The more we can accept and appreciate all the different aspects of ourselves, we can really have so much more compassion for our experience. We can forgive ourselves. We can choose what will serve us based on everybody can have their thoughts, but at the end of the day, the most empowered part of you gets to make the decisions.(07:42):And it’s that ability that over time, the more you do this kind of work, that you trust yourself, that you trust your ability to make the right decisions and know there is no wrong decision really, because you know that no matter what happens, you have the capacity to deal with it. You have the resources to figure out a solution. You can figure it out. You can find what you need. You can get creative, you can get innovative, and you can figure it out. And often that is a lot of the work I do with my clients is they want to have better connection. They want to have better relationships, they want to have better sex. And a lot of it is they don’t trust themselves. They doubt their abilities, they don’t feel capable. That’s a huge challenge that so many face is like, I don’t feel good enough.(08:25):Who am I to want this? I’m asking for too much. If I ask for that, my needs aren’t important. I need to take care of everyone else, right? Well, I’ve got such a busy family life. I’ve got to be doing all these things. I’m working full-time, shoveling kids everywhere. I’ve got a really challenging job and I have a lot of responsibilities. So often I hear that so many of my clients are very high achieving women, very high achieving people that are doing many amazing things in the world. And they need to remember to add themselves into the mix to know even though they might have a lot of success in one area of their life, they might not be having it in other areas because there’s a part of them that maybe doubts that they deserve that or doubts that they’re worthy of that. Or yes, of course I work really hard.(09:08):I’m worthy of success in my business, but I can’t just relax and receive love for my partner, or I can’t relax and receive some great, something wonderful that might be happening during sex because I have a hard time letting go and receiving. We can be very good at doing, but not necessarily good at receiving. And sometimes that has to do with trust. I can’t trust myself to surrender or I can’t trust myself to let go. So that self-trust piece is huge to be able to bring that online. And the more we can empower the most empowered part of us, the more we can really amplify that empowered self, the more it can show up. And it’s really like the most adult part of you, the wisest, most adult part of you that can herd in that part of you that might feel young and small, that needs extra love, that can hurt in that part of you that was bullied in high school, that really feels hard.(09:57):Sharing your true needs. It can hold that part of you that’s hurt from a breakup that you had or from something horrible that might’ve happened in New York Life. But we can learn to give our body what it needs, give ourself what we need, give the parts of us what they need, work with our body and our nervous system to kind of release some of that stuff we’re holding onto so that we do have the capacity to hold more good to hold, more pleasure to receive more, right? And a lot of times there’s guilt around that. And so we have to work with the guilt. We have to work with that because we are conditioned that we need to go do, right? Just laying around being in pleasure is a guilty thing that we have those guilty pleasures, right? That’s a guilty pleasure. I shouldn’t be doing it, right?(10:46):And so these are a lot of things that we have to work through, realize, yes, the more I allow myself to be in pleasure, the more I can increase my capacity to be in the state of bliss. The more externally things shift, because it can be a real hard shift to be able to hold more of what’s good. But then the more you hold, the more capacity you have, the more you can handle the hard things, the more you can handle the challenges because you have that capacity. And the more you can handle that, the more good you can let in because you can’t have one without the other. We are very multifaceted humans, and there’s so many aspects of humanity that we hold within ourselves. And I think right now, having the vision of what we want to create can be so supportive. When things feel challenging or when you feel hopeless, that’s when you and your heart’s medicine are really called to shine.(11:38):And everybody has a different way of doing that. Everyone has a different way of doing that. And so it’s honoring your way and showing up in the way that you can. And what might it take to love yourself a little more so that you can have the capacity to up for the collective a little more, right? What would it take to maybe make some of these big shifts as we move into these next four years? So I’ll invite you to contemplate that on this February 29th, 2024, as this is a leap year day, right? We have a whole extra day to think about what we want to see change, what we want to see shift. So this is, I guess a little rambling pep talk. But the good news is that I love the possibilities. When you can think in a new and innovative way, we have so much more possibility.(12:31):And that is when it feels exciting. That is when it invites in hope. And so as I wrap up this quick little Diddy, I just want to share how much I appreciate all of you for being here, for listening to the podcast, for supporting me. It means the world. I am about to celebrate six years of the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast, which is a huge accomplishment. And I was just feeling such gratitude today for creating this platform. So I have been able to just connect with so many incredible people, and I thank you for listening and making it possible. And my biggest intention of all is that it serves you and that the people that I bring on serve you in some way, and that you’re learning and that you’re growing, and that you’re finding things that can help improve your life and your relationships.(13:13):Because my intention, my mission is around connection and love. Look, at the end of the day, that’s why I do what I do for people to enjoy better connection, better love with themselves and those around them. And so thank you so much for being a part of this. Thank you so, so much, and I would be so grateful for your help. If you feel like joining the Turn on team, if you feel like helping me spread the word for this podcast relaunch, it would just mean the world to me. So again, you can go to amanda testa.com/turn on team, as in turn on, turn the Lights on, Amanda Testa, turn on team and help us and enjoy the fun and excitement that’s going to be happening with this podcast relaunch. Thank you so much again for being a valued and important part of this community. Have a beautiful day or evening wherever you are in the world, and I will see you soon.

Unleashing Your Goddess Voice And Freeing Your Expression With Sara Giita Flores

January 29, 2024

Unleashing Your Goddess Voice and Freeing Your Expression with Sara Giita Flores

Are you an empathic woman with a message to share? Have you already empowered yourself in many ways? 

Why then, do you still find yourself in habits of people-pleasing, doubting your gifts, or dimming your voice?

In this week’s podcast, I’m talking with trusted voice coach Sara Giita Flores around what it really takes to  heal the hidden blocks that keep you playing small. 

Listen in to this episode to discover:

– Why we as humans have a deep need to be seen, heard, and understood, and what stands in the way of this.- Exploring the Voice Archetypes to Make Yourself Heard

– How to use your physiology to support your expression.

– How to develop safety and confidence when sharing your voice.- What is your “Goddess Voice” And how to find it and express it.

And much more!

Listen below, or tune in via: Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your fave pod player.

(Complete transcript below)

JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.

Sara Giita Flores transformed her life from a place of trauma-induced silence and shame into one of radiant self-expression. Drawing wisdom from her 16 years as a voice coach, speaker, and singer/songwriter, Sara helps soulful women to speak their truth and spread their message. Her healing work has been featured on NBC News, KGNU Radio, Westword Magazine, and numerous podcasts.

Check out her new book, Unleash Your Goddess Voice: Build Your Resilience to Speak Up, Sing Out, and Spread Your Message HERE!

Find her via her website HERE.

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Want more support from Amanda? Schedule a confidential 1-1 call with Amanda⁠ here.

In this 45 min call, we’re going to identify your #1 block to pleasure, why it’s showing up in the way it is, and what to do to turn it around. ⁠⁠After doing this work for almost a decade, I can quickly identify the patterns holding you back, and show you the steps to change it. ⁠⁠Permission to reach out even if it feels scary. Permission to reach out even if you aren’t even sure you want to do this work. Permission to reach out to explore if this is right for you, no strings or pushy sales tactics here.⁠

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Amanda Testa (00:02):Hello and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome.(00:20):Hey, what’s up? It’s Amanda. If you’re enjoying this pod and you know are ready to say yes to more pleasure and you are just wanting to know, how the hell do I do it? Well, you are in luck because as of now we have spots available in the Pleasure Foundation, which is my pleasure membership, where twice a month you get an amazing practice that teaches you how to drop into your body to become more connected to yourself and to learn the art of sacred self-care. So if this is something you’re interested in, go to amandatesta.com/tpf as in the pleasure foundation, amandatesta.com/tpf, and we will see you there.(01:00): If you ever find yourself doubting your gifts or dimming your voice, I find that in this modern world, it can be really easy to struggle around feeling like you can truly express yourself fully.(01:14):And I am so thrilled today because I am going to be talking with Sarah Gita Flores. She is an amazing woman, and friend and she has just unleashed a new book called Unleash Your Goddess Voice, Build Your Resilience To Speak Up, Sing Out, And Spread your message. And I am so excited about this interview today because one of the things that, well, you’re going to get lots of gems today, but really kind of understanding how important your voice is and how you’re going to be able to feel, have some tools to be more seen and heard by the end of this interview today. So welcome. Thank you for being here and welcome Sarah. I’m so happy to be here with you.Sara Giita Flores (01:51):Thank you. I’m so excited to connect with your audience.Amanda Testa (01:56):Well, a theme I see often with so many women that I work with and just in general, I think our culture really kind of raises women, especially here in the us, to really these others to care for everyone else. And so it can be really easy to have a trouble speaking out or doubting that you have something to share. So I’d love to just start with maybe if you could share a little bit about what inspired you to write this book and why you feel like being able to be seen and heard is so important. Big question. I know.Sara Giita Flores (02:28):Yes. So it’s interesting because the journey of wanting to write the book started with myself and wanting to heal myself. And over the five and a half years of writing it, it really evolved to being into being something for the reader and for women and in service of the mutual empowerment of all people’s voices.(02:51):And the reason that I came to this work is because my own voice was tamped down for so long, and it’s interesting that I say that because on the outside it looked like I was pretty expressed. I sang a lot, I sing on stage, I did a vocal performance degree. I was in theater. I could project my voice to the back of the room, but all of this was happening at a very surface level. There was a lot of hiding and masking going on because it felt profoundly unsafe to go deeper. It felt like if I revealed my true self, my true voice, I expected my voice to be disrespected, demonized, ignored, and this pattern is relevant to so many women no matter our experiences. So for me, part of that experience was trauma, that I came from a background of experiencing sexual assault that needed to be healed, but part of it was also the experience of being raised in a patriarchy in a system that not just for women but for so many people is based upon oppression.(04:13):It gives us this message that it’s not safe to speak up and there are real world situations where it’s actually physically not safe to speak up. I am lucky to be in a situation where it is safe to speak up. There may be criticism, there may be things like that that we have to deal with, but the basic thread of finding your voice comes from seeing that we get all this conditioning, maybe these personal experiences, inherited trauma, things that make us feel like we have to tamp down narrow doubt ourselves, be self-deprecating, not really rest in our worth, and it makes us express ourselves in a way that’s really focused on the outside what will other people think, which can manifest as people pleasing or it can manifest as being just against everything like just defiant for the sake of defiance, which does show an element of strength, and at the same time, it’s even more powerful.(05:25):You can give yourself a little time and space to tune in to what’s inside and say, what do I actually want? What really wants to be expressed through me? What do I want to say? What do I need to say to my partner, to my friends? If you have a business or a creative project, what do I really most want to say in service of my audience? What lights me up? And this is a more starting inside and then sending it outward. This is a really empowered mode of self-expression. When I started to come home to my own authentic, I eventually gave it a name, which is the goddess voice. The goddess voice is your unique upwelling of divinely inspired self-expression. So something that starts inward in the mystical spaces inside you that then gets birthed outward into the world of form. And the more often you can tap this, the more empowered and on fire you will be in your life.Amanda Testa (06:33):I am just blown away by your story too and just how much you’ve lived the example, and I think something that you mentioned earlier really caught my attention when you talked about performance because you are a voice coach and a musician and a writer and all of these things and a coach. But I’m wondering too, when it came to moving from that performative to actually being authentic, what maybe was something that helped you there?Sara Giita Flores (07:05):Yes, great question. Yes, I was very much in the, I can show up as a character. So to take it practically, there’s a whole chapter in the book about how the way to speak up more authentically is to embrace your wholeness. So for example, for the first 10 years of my career as a voice coach, I really hid my spiritual side. I felt like I had to stay safe. I felt like people would judge me.(07:38):And over the last six to seven years as I’ve been embracing my wholeness more, I’ve seen that things like shadow work, things like healing and embracing your inner child or all the scared parts inside, what that does is it makes you feel okay inside. So basically I was scared of sharing my spiritual side because I was scared someone would judge me or criticize me, and there was room for that to come in because there was a part of me that judged my spiritual side. There was a part of me that said, you’re weird. There was a part of me that criticized to that. So when I had that energy already in myself, that part that was doubting, that was fearing, that was like, oh, maybe this is really weird that I sense energy and I meditate and I do all these things that the mainstream or the generalized other just don’t get, then I was scared that people would come at me for that same thing.(08:43):And as I’ve gradually and incrementally learned to first share that truth in safe spaces with people who really understand and support and celebrate me, and then share with little bit bigger groups, like you run amazing groups, for example, where people can share and be authentic and show up as themselves, that then the more and more I start to love those parts of myself instead of judge them or criticize them or ignore them, the more that I felt like I could show them to the world. Because when you heal that in yourself, it’s like, well, someone can criticize, but there’s no longer a place for it to land. There’s not a little part inside that’s like, shoot, they were right all along.(09:31):Yeah. Then it’s just like, well, yeah, people can have their reactions because they’re people. When I speak up about things like overcoming trauma or patriarchy, some people are going to get triggered. It’s going to bring up all kinds of unhealed stuff in other people, and really it’s not about me. When you embrace your wholeness and all those parts of you that feel vulnerable, it creates space for you to show up authentically and feel like you don’t have to hide. There’s nothing you have to hide. You can choose to keep things private, but that’s empowered choice. It’s different than feeling like I’ll die if they see this.Amanda Testa (10:10):I think that’s so powerful too. It’s like finding those little safe spaces to be yourself with people that are going to accept you is first, right, so that you can be seen in it and be witnessed in it and feel good in that, and then you build your courage and your confidence each step.Sara Giita Flores (10:30):So key,Amanda Testa (10:34):The baby steps are so important because we can’t overextend ourselves. I mean, we can, but it often does not work out in our best interests because if you want to have courage, but you also want to do it in ways that are doable and that your nervous system can handle, right?Sara Giita Flores (10:50):Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Otherwise, there’s often a shutdown afterward. Yeah, I had that experience in 2018. I gave my first keynote speech at a conference and I shared my story of overcoming sexual trauma, and I was like, I’m ready. I’m out here world. And I was paid generously and treated great, and afterward I felt so vulnerable and it was because I didn’t give myself incremental experiences to being seen and heard publicly. I just went all in room full of 500 strangers. Here I am. So it took some rebuilding and repair afterward from that. So expansion definitely works best if you’re mindful about what would be the right amount of expansion, what would be the right amount of being seen and heard more boldly for me right now.Amanda Testa (11:46):I think that’s really important to note too, because also it’s normal that we’re going to have these expansions and contractions that’s normal, but we can kind of be prepared for that when we are incremental about it and also when we know, okay, if I’m doing this big thing on the other side, I might be feeling tender and vulnerable. So how can I really take good care of myself on the other side too? Right?Sara Giita Flores (12:08):Yeah.Amanda Testa (12:11):Well, I love if you would share a little bit more around, I think something that can be challenging is sometimes people understanding, well, okay, I know I want to be seen and heard. Okay, now I am going to try to do these little incremental steps. But what I am curious, if you could maybe go a little deeper about what you think that need beneath the surface is that people maybe are not wanting to, they want to tap in, but they don’t. But it’s like that need there. It’s that deep need to be seen and heard as humans. Could you speak to that a little, if you don’t mind?Sara Giita Flores (12:45):We all have a deep human need to be seen and heard. It’s how we’re wired. We need to be mirrored by others. We need people to see us and acknowledge us and support us and celebrate us. And there is a big move, big push in the self-help, help movement to be completely and self-Validation is so important. Filling up on the inside, telling yourself, knowing you are worthy, reminding yourself it is so important. So I’m not at all discounting that, but if we only focus on that, it can actually cause us to bypass the fact that we do need to be seen and heard by others. I know that for myself, for many years, this unmet need of being seen and heard, played out in things like my music career. I’m going to schedule a concert or I’m going to launch something and not many people show up.(13:49):It was like I was looking for that validation from many, many people to come and show me that I was loved. So the thing that we have to be careful about is setting it up so that it’s reliable and it’s not just dependent on one person. So first of all, yes, you need that sense of inner worthiness, the systems and practices to remind yourself, yes, I am worthy. My voice deserves to be heard. I love myself. And yes, you need to be seen and heard by others. So where can you find therapists, coaches, group spaces, close circles of friends, people who can reflect back to you, your worth, who can show you with so much compassion and kindness if there’s maybe a blind spot, rather than just calling it out in a hurtful kind of way. So again, those are those incremental steps. The other factor is about being seen and heard that I’ve observed, tested to with your energy.(14:57):So we are all communicating things all the time with our voice and with our bodies, but we’re also communicating it with our energy. And very often there’s kind of mixed messages. So maybe my voice is saying, I’m setting a boundary right now and you need to hear me, but my energy is kind of like, oh, do I really get to set boundaries? Oh, I think somebody’s going to tread over this, what my past experience is. So in observing this in myself, I was looking for a way to start teaching this to my clients because I help people get on stage to speak, to sing, to share their message, and it’s hard to describe energy. So that’s where with some meditation, I came up with these four voice archetypes, and the voice archetypes are to help us be seen and heard. They’re to help us master our energy for being seen and heard.(15:56):And I’ve noticed that often there’s this big kind of tendency and need to put up walls of protection, a big shell. I liken it to wearing a lot of coats or scarves, lots and lots of layers to the pad you to feel like protection. So we can have this kind of closed off energy a lot of the time, whether we want to share something important with our partner, whether we want to share it with a friend, whether we want to share it in a blog post or video or something, even more widespread like that. And so the first of the four archetypes to help us understand when we want to close down our energy, when we want to open up to be seen is the tortoise. So there’s four archetypes, the tortoise, the ladybug, the lioness, and the goddess. So the primary energetic feature of the tortoise is this heavy protective shell.(17:00):The tortoise can just come inside, tuck its head and tuck its legs in and be safe. And if you come in consciously, the tortoise energy can be really healing because sometimes we just need to feel like, oh, I have protection. I don’t need to be seen. I don’t need to be hurt. I can come inside. This might be healthy if you just had a big launch or something vulnerable happen. If you fight with your partner, you can go curl up in your bed with a blanket for a little bit. Let yourself be nurtured. Let yourself have that inward unprotected. I don’t need to be open to other people’s energies. The thing with tortoise though is that if you’re stuck here, it’s so exhausting. It’s like you’re carrying around this heavy shell, all these layers of protection, all these walls, and it can just feel like you’re hiding.(18:00):So there are times when you might want to open up a bit more, and that’s where the ladybug archetype comes in. So if you think about ladybugs, I remember when I was a child, I did not yet know that lady ladybugs could fly. And the first time I did, I thought it was a different insect. I was like, wow, where did those wings come from? So the ladybug has these protective wing casings called Elijah. Those are the really cute red or orange spotted wing casings. And when it wants to fly, those wing casings open up and these glorious thin, but strong black wings come up, come out. So the lady book can go wherever it needs to go. And so the energetic feature for us of ladybug energy is being able to open up at a moment’s notice. It’s like, well, sometimes we need a little protection.(18:55):Sometimes I can just close up those wing casings. But if you imagine that maybe you had double doors in front of you and that when you felt ready to be seen and heard, you could swing them open and say Hello world, then that’s ladybug energy. It’s saying, you know what? Right now I can open up. It’s like doing a little shimmy. Here I am. I’m on stage, I’m in the spotlight. Even if you’re just speaking with a friend. And then when the time’s right, you just bring that casing over, bring your wings back in, and you’re kind of back in that I’m hiding. I got a little protection. You don’t know all the glorious things about me that can sometimes be revealed. So ladybug energy is really fun. Yeah, it seems like you want to, I’m talking a lot, so you tellAmanda Testa (19:44):Me. No, I was just going to say I love that visual. Just I can just sense that Hello world opening the doors, here I am, and then going back. And I love that visual of the ladybugSara Giita Flores (19:55):In the week. Yes, yes, absolutely. So the ladybug energy, it is really fun. I’ve spent so much time here. I’ve had clients who are really comfortable with the ladybug energy. And by the way, these archetypes are not linear. There are times when we revisit them, it’s circular. There are times when we want to come back to the medicine of the tortoise. And yet the ladybug does have a downside, which is that she’s easy to overlook ladybugs, they’re small, they’re cute, they’re glorious, and yet they’re easy to not be seen. Sometimes it’s appropriate for us to have something even more commanding that says, I will be seen. I will be heard. I know I’m worthy of it. And that’s where the lioness archetype comes in. So the primary energetic feature of the lioness is that she is self filling. She fills up for me inside. She fills her own needs.(21:05):She is a res, she is strong, she is feared, she is revered. And when you’re in lioness energy, it’s like I don’t need any layers of protection, right? Because I’m fierce. I’m strong. I don’t need any walls in front of me. I’m just so overflowing. And I have felt the lioness energy before on stage, and it is powerful. People sit on the edge of their chairs, they listen, they are raptured. And when you in a situation where perhaps you want to set a boundary that with some flexibility but also some strength, there’s times when I don’t even need to say a word, but when I call upon that lioness energy, it’s like suddenly a person who used to criticize me, just not even trying, they’re just not going there because my energy is communicating to them. Nope, I won’t tolerate that. So the lioness is a really empowering archetype, and I visited a lot and encourage clients too.(22:12):And there can be a downside, which is it can feel isolating because you’re so focused on filling up from the inside and you’re so focused on confidence and radiating it outward. But there are times when I prefer to choose the energy of the goddess archetype, and the goddess archetype is focused on opening yourself as a channel, a conduit for whatever wants to come through, however you relate to the divine. When you say, I am an open space, I’m an open vessel for something to come through as a gift for myself and everyone who receives my voice, that is the goddess archetype.Amanda Testa (22:57):I love that. Can you share a story perhaps of when you felt in that archetype energy and how that played out?Sara Giita Flores (23:07):So early on in the Pandemic, when we were all like, what is going on doing all of these virtual things, I had an experience. My husband and I chant mantra music together. He plays the guitar, we both sing, and we got invited to do a chanting song for an online gathering. And the chanting is quite simple in the tradition that we do. So it’s repetitive, and that’s a great Petri dish for me to explore energy and offering and opening myself as a channel. And I felt myself in this circle of light. It was this kind of cylinder coming down as I really offered myself to please use me for the highest good and the highest good of all. And spontaneously, I felt like even though this was being prerecorded, I felt like I was connected to the people who were listening. I felt as if we were in this big circle and Mother Earth was holding us, really holding the space, blasting everyone.(24:22):So it’s like this circle of light expanded and it is a humbling and beautiful experience to be a steward for the light. And often my mind every once in a while will be like, wow, is this real? Or wow, you’re so powerful. And then it’s just a reminder, oh, this is something bigger coming through. This is not me, it’s not mine. This is grace and it is a blessing to be a vehicle for it to be amplified here on this earthly plane. So yeah, in the book, I actually go through a practice to find your own way of being a facilitator of this collective energy.Amanda Testa (25:09):I was just feeling like chills on my arms as you were saying that. It is such a powerful thing when you can open to that channel and kind of let go of your ego or whatever you want to call it and just allow, and to be able to call that in to trust it. It’s so beautiful. And it’s interesting too, because I can notice that happen often when I’m teaching or if I’m leading something and then afterwards you’re like, I don’t necessarily remember everything that happened. It’s going to just, but it’s great. And it’s funny, I was listening to a podcast the other day where I think it was Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about how when people have these divine bursts, it can be like, it just feels so effortless. It’s just kind of flowing through. But also at the other side, you might be like, I don’t know where that came from, but it was pretty amazing. I don’t know. Do you ever notice that happening?Sara Giita Flores (26:02):Yes. And sometimes it’s disorienting. Also, a few years ago I had an experience of oneness and I felt so shaky and ungrounded afterward. So it goes back to that incremental piece that we talked about, that your nervous system and your body does really well. If you’re really gentle with your pace and saying, oh, I want a little bit of a taste of what is it like to be a conduit? What is it like to speak as a channel? Maybe just a few words in the mirror, maybe something loving in the mirror, maybe with someone I really trust. And then you practice that art of being seen and heard. You practice the art of feeling like it’s not just me. It’s not just my ego doing this, but there’s something that I’m allowing to come through.Amanda Testa (26:58):I’m wondering too, when it comes to, I know this happens a lot with people that really, maybe they’re type, maybe it’s just like women in our culture. They’re like, we’re going to get these things done yesterday. I’m going to just express myself and be done yesterday. So I’m curious what advice you might have for those who might be listening and be like, yes, and I need this now. What kind of offering can you give to those listeners?Sara Giita Flores (27:24):Well, in some regards, you already have it all within you. You don’t need a coach or a book or anything to express yourself fully because that potential is always in you. It’s like a blueprint, your worth, your power, your desire to bring things outward and share them that’s within. And yet things like going at a pace, getting support, reading guides from people who’ve been there. These can make it a lot more doable, a lot more fun, a lot more sense of safety in your body. So if you wanted it yesterday, I would say you’re awesome. You have a lot of vigor, you have a lot of desire to be fully expressed, to be in joy. And I’m somebody who has felt like the universe definitely has its own ideas for me, and they don’t usually match up with the timing of what I want. I want things down to, and there is, I think it’s a both ands embracing that, yeah, I have this desire. I want to be there now. And in some ways you already are enough. You are already are healed enough, and yet you will still be on a healing journey. So that’s true. And at the same time, it’s also true that your body, your divine soul, your nervous system will have their own pace. And the more that you can kind of bring those two together, hold them each in a hand like, oh, I want this now and now I can just lunge my new podcast to a hundred thousand people tomorrow.(29:19):And the other part that’s like, hmm, maybe we want a little time to integrate. Maybe we want to practice it with a few people we love and share the ideas. And that if you can just let them both be there, then they will, you’ll find more peace that way.Amanda Testa (29:38):I love that, just that trusting the timing and the two things are true at the same time. I think that is such a powerful concept to grasp when you’re able to do that, because it can be really hard sometimes. And so I think that just helps make things more approachable, right? Yes. So I’m wondering maybe if there’s maybe anything else that you feel is an important thing if someone’s listening and like, well, I really want to be more visible. I want to be able to share my voice. Maybe. What else can I do? Maybe, is there one more tip you can offer?Sara Giita Flores (30:20):Yes. So we’ve talked about moving incrementally, going at your pace. We’ve talked about relating to your energy. And I think the other piece that can really help is the physiology, how you actually use your voice, even if what you want to do is something like writing. So when we are standing tall and proud, we’re communicating with our body posture. We’re also creating a lot of great space for the instrument of our voice to be aligned. So our voice can come out freely and easily without being crunched or crumpled or obstructed in some way. So tuning in with your physiology and your breathing is something that I work with clients on, especially working with your diaphragm. So the diaphragm is always involved when you are breathing. It’s always, always involved. So there’s not like, here’s diaphragmatic breathing and here’s regular breathing. The thing with what I often call diaphragmatic breathing, which is ideal for speaking up as well as for singing, is that you’re getting conscious control over the diaphragm.(31:33):So basically it’s this huge muscle, kind of like a dinner plate that’s rest beneath your ribs, and the diaphragm initiates breath, so it moves downward a bit, becomes a less domed shape, and then the air just rushes in, so it creates a vacuum, and air just comes in so effortlessly and the nourishment that you receive from the air also comes effortlessly. So the diaphragm is just amazing doing all these things for us. And then when you want to speaker sing, it’s advantageous to send your air out in a steady stream. So if we’re kind of giving it in fits and spurts, then we might not always have that strong vocal tone. And it also gives us that strong sense of energy if we are using our diaphragm to send our sound outward and noticing that our sound and our voice starts deep within, it doesn’t start just in our throat. It’s not just about the throat chocolate, it’s not just about the larynx. It actually starts down here with the breath. And so having that aligned tall posture as well as getting tuned in with your diaphragm, which is a process, then that can give you more of a sense of strength and your voice is there for you.Amanda Testa (32:56):I love that. I think it’s so beautiful too, how you weave in all so many different elements because it is, it’s not just one thing. It’s like we have to use all of us to be whole and to share that wholeness with others.Sara Giita Flores (33:11):Yes. So good. Hallelujah.Amanda Testa (33:17):And I would love for you to share where everyone can connect with you and find your book, but before we do that, I’d love to just maybe, is there a question that you wished that I would’ve asked that I didn’t ask, or any last words you really want to make sure that the listeners take in?Sara Giita Flores (33:35):Well, I would like everyone to know deep in your bones that your voice matters and you deserve to be seen and heard, and you can learn to feel safe being seen and heard on any level you choose, this is doable, and it’s actually a capacity that you have within him already just waiting to be expressed.Amanda Testa (34:01):Yes. Oh, thank you so much, Sarah, for being here. And I would love if you would share it more like where everyone can find your book and connect with you. And yeah, I’m just celebrating you too. We were just talking before we started recording is I’ve known Sarah for a while and just really celebrating the hard work it is to put a book into the world and just huge now to be on the other side of it and getting to celebrate and support you in launching this book to the world. So congratulations.Sara Giita Flores (34:30):Thank you. It is amazing. So the book is called Unleash Your Goddess Voice, and as of now, it’s the only book titled that out there. So it will be the first in your search results if you just want to go that way. So search for Unleash Your Goddess Voice. You can also find updated links for where to purchase the ebook in the print book at books to read. So that’s books. And then a number two and read like R EAD slash Goddess voice. So books to Read slash Goddess Voice will give you all the links for where to purchase it. Or you can also look on my website, which is sarah gita.com. And Gita is an unusual spelling. It has two eyes, just like I have two eyes on my face. So it’s S-A-R-A-G-I-T a.com.Amanda Testa (35:23):Beautiful. Well, I’ll make sure as well to put all of this in the show notes so that listeners can connect with you. And also, if you’re listening, I’ll invite you to maybe just see what is one gym that you’ve taken from this podcast, or what is one way, one thing that you might want to implement and hit us up on Instagram and let us know. You can reach out to me at Ab Testa, and that’s where I am on Instagram and I love to hear feedback. So let me know how this episode landed and what you’re taking away. And thank you so much again, Sarah, for being here and for all you listening, thank you. Thank you. And we will see you next week.Sara Giita Flores (35:59):There is one important thing to say, Amanda, which is The Pleasure Foundation is amazing. If you’ve all heard about this at the beginning of the podcast and you’re kind of like, oh, maybe it’s so worth it. I love it. And you will get so much into your feeling good and pleasure and in incremental ways by working with Amanda. So highly recommend.Amanda Testa (36:23):Well, thank you so much. Yes. So you can find out more about that amanda tested.com/tpf. And I just, I’m so grateful for you, Sarah, and thank you for being here. And for all of you listening, we’ll see you next time. Have a beautiful rest of your day or evening, wherever you are in the world. Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa, and if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden invitation. I invite you to reach out. You can contact me@amandatestthe.com slash activate, and we can have a heart to heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook and the Group Finder Feminine Fire Group. And if you’ve enjoyed this podcast, please share with your friends. Go to iTunes and give me a five star rating and a raving review so I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself. Thank you so much for being a part of the community.

How To Move From Shut Down To Turned On With Amanda Testa

January 24, 2024

Go From Shut DownTo Turned on with Amanda Testa

Are you longing to reignite your passion, feel more desire, and enhance your intimate connections?  

In this week’s Find Your Feminine Fire podcast episode, I’m revisiting my very first episode, from six years ago!

In the premiere episode, I share vulnerably about my personal journey from feeling disconnected and overwhelmed to sensually alive and deeply connected to myself and my relationship.

Tune in to discover how to embrace your pleasure, heal your relationship with your sexuality, and step into your true, confident self.

This enlightening conversation, hosted by my dear friend Rachel Rose, is filled with practical tips and compassionate advice, guiding you to rekindle your inner flame.

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands or seeking to deepen your relationships, tune in and you’ll gain a lot of inspo from this episode!Listen below, or tune in via: Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your fave pod player.

(Complete transcript below)

JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.

Would you please take  a moment and give us some feedback on the podcast here? You’ll get a special gift as a Thank you for your time. 

Want to connect with Rachel Rose? Find her on Instagram @rachel.irene.rose.

Want more support from Amanda? Schedule a confidential 1-1 call with Amanda⁠ here.

In this 45 min call, we’re going to identify your #1 block to pleasure, why it’s showing up in the way it is, and what to do to turn it around. ⁠⁠After doing this work for almost a decade, I can quickly identify the patterns holding you back, and show you the steps to change it. ⁠⁠Permission to reach out even if it feels scary. Permission to reach out even if you aren’t even sure you want to do this work. Permission to reach out to explore if this is right for you, no strings or pushy sales tactics here.⁠

If you liked this episode, please consider giving me a 5 Star Review on Apple Podcasts! It truly does help the podcast grow. 

Amanda Testa (00:01):Happy Saturday. This morning I decided to listen to the very first episode of my podcast. I have something exciting in the works that’s going to be happening late February, early March, which is super thrilling to stay tuned for that. But as I was preparing, I decided, you know what? I’m going to go back and listen to my very first podcast episode. That was six years ago, and I loved it. It cracked me up because first of all, not much has changed and everything has changed, right as we go through these evolutions, even in every so many years, things shift, and I was cracking up because my dear friend Rachel, interviewed me for this podcast when I first started it, kind of asking more about why did I start Find Your Feminine Fire? And it really made me remember, because sometimes after doing this for so long, I’ve been doing this work for a decade now, and so much has changed in my own life.(00:59):But just really going back to that moment when I was so shut down sexually and just so disconnected from myself, and it actually made me emotional because I think being so far away from that, sometimes I know how that is because so many of my clients are in that position where they are feeling disconnected from themselves, feeling shut down, feeling disconnected from their partner, feeling depressed and just stuck. And I had to just have a come to Jesus moment with myself. I remember this one morning and I talk about it in the podcast. I’ll share the link below because I’m going to re-release this podcast. I thought it was so great to just hear this again. I was like, what? It really took for me and my journey to move from shutdown to sexually empowered and to really loving every inch of my body, and how even just as recently as September turning 50 brought on a whole new slew of things and really having to go back and use my tools to reconnect to myself and to fall in love with myself again.(02:07):Because our culture teaches us so much about what things are supposed to be like, and this is when you’re in your prime or this is what makes you beautiful and all this bullshit, which none of it is true, but it’s very easy to let it in, but can’t do that, right? We have to remember what’s true for us, but just kind of going back down this memory lane of remembering that and how every year I just get more inspired to help others because I know what things can look like on the other side. Right now I’m on the other side. And yes, when I hit setbacks, I have the tools to get myself through it, to move through when it’s hard, and to have really good communication with my husband so that we can stay connected and in love and(02:58):We have so much fun together. We prioritize our relationship and really treat it like a special gift because it is. We both feel like this is a gift that we get to nourish the gift of us finding each other in this billions and billions of people in the world. And we have this amazing connection. And because we nourish it and because we nurture it, it continues to grow and our sex life continues to grow and it gets better and more deeply connected and more fun, and we still get so excited when we get to spend time together. We love each other. We just want to enjoy and soak up the goodness of one another and how that used to not be possible for me, even though I thought things were great. Now, on the other side, I realize, wow, they were not, I was putting on a good show.(03:49):I was great at acting. I was great at pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t. I was Pollyanna. My husband jokes like, you’re Pollyanna. And he used to be like, stop being like that. I’m sure now he regrets it in some ways because I am 100% authentic with what is true, and I do not force myself to do things I don’t want to do or say yes when my body is a no. Even today, we were going to have some alone time and we had planned to connect, and I was just like, I’m not feeling great today. I woke up with a migraine. I’m about to start my period any minute. I’m just not wanting to be touched. And so we just laid in the bed and talked and laughed, and that was our connection for today. So doesn’t always, it’s not always toe curling orgasms.(04:35):Sometimes it is, right? Yesterday it was, today was not. But that’s the thing. It’s listening to our bodies and what it needs. This is a big thing I learned. Anyways, I’m blabbing now, but I also was laughing at the end of the episode. I was sharing all these, my friend Rachel, she was like, okay, this might be hard. We’re really good friends, but I want you to share with me some things you don’t know about me. And again, that took me back to, wow, how many times have I needed to make things shift in my life? And I’ve done it, and it’s not always easy. It is not always easy, but trusting that inner voice in me, like that inner blueprint of health. It’s like, this is the way forward. This is what you have to do. And sometimes that voice is just a peep, but I know it’s in there.(05:17):And just trusting myself and listening to it has made all the difference in my life. And so I just want to share this with you in case you are looking to shift or you’re feeling that little voice that’s like, this isn’t right. Things need to shift, or I need to make some changes. And realizing it doesn’t have to be huge. You can take baby steps and baby steps make a huge shift. So needless to say, I’m going to put this podcast in below, and I want you to listen to it because it just really talks to you more about why I do what I do and what was my story around it, and how I really went from this on the outside Southern Bell(05:56):Debutante who had to unlearn a ton of things, that just right there in those three sentences can tell you how much I’m un learning. I had to do on so many different levels, holy moly. But how I was able to really connect with my authentic self and be able to express that and be happy in it and how it’s shifted my life in so many good ways and some fun things you never knew about me, you’re going to laugh. Okay? So enjoy this. I’m going to share this below. And yeah, I’d love to hear too your feedback. What are some of the things that you really appreciate about your own journey? We all have things that we’ve learned along the way, and I’d love to know if you want to share something below about something you’re proud of in your own journey. I would love to hear a celebration. You can post it below. All right, have a beautiful Saturday.

Amanda Testa (00:01):You are listening to Find Your Feminine Fire, the podcast where we talk sex, love, and relationships, and all things that light you up from the inside out. I’m your host, Amanda Testa. Thanks so much for being here today.(00:16):Welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa, and today I really wanted to talk to you about why I’m here and what this podcast is about. And I was so thrilled that my dear friend and colleague, Rachel Rose, agreed to interview me today. And she’s a confidence coach for entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs and coaches, and she’s just an amazing, amazing person and has been on my journey with me for many years. And she’s also the host of the HIT podcast Ripen, and we always have really delicious juicy conversations. So I thought what better person to get this party start? So thank you Rachel so much.Rachel Rose (00:58):You’re welcome. Thank you for that lovely introduction and this opportunity to have another juicy, yummy conversation. So I guess I’ll be leading charge here, which is kind of fun. I get to be in charge on your podcast. Yum. And yeah, I’m just so thrilled to get to have this opportunity to interview you and get to share a little bit more about your awesome, yummy juiciness with your audience.(01:28):So(01:29):To kick us off, I’d just love to hear a little bit about how you got started doing this work and what your journey looked like to get here to where you’re today.Amanda Testa (01:39):Yes, beautiful. So my journey began many years ago and I think what really hit me the hardest was when my daughter was around two years old. I just remember waking up feeling super resentful and annoyed before the day even began. And as soon as I would hear that first cry, I was just irritated and anything that would happen after that point, I just woke up in a bad mood. And even though I was trying to do all the right things, I was a personal trainer and trainer, had trainer a workout class that I led for moms and was doing all these things for myself that I thought were healthy and they were very healthy and they helped me a lot, but I realized something was really missing. And even though my husband and I have a great relationship, we’ve always connected and had a really beautiful partnership, I just was very unhappy and something was just not right, and I just never really wanted to connect.(02:34):I didn’t really have libido, I was depressed and I needed something to change. And so I remember that morning just looking in the mirror and being like, this cannot be my life. This really cannot be all there is because this really why I decided to leave my cushy corporate job and be a stay-at-home mom. And I was like, I cannot live my life this way. So I realized that some things needed to change and I talked to my husband about it. I was like, I’ve just got to find some support. One of the things I did was I hired a coach and that helped me tremendously and just really getting clear on what I wanted. And secondly, I found this course that I thought I would take to spice things up in the bedroom. And little did I know it would change the course of my entire life.(03:23):I stumbled upon these ancient teachings that were pretty incredible. And through learning more about Tantra and Taoism and sexuality and doing all this work, I realized it was really healing things at the root. And for me, I’d done years and years of personal growth and development. You could call me one of those personal growth and development junkies. I did all the courses and went to all the Tony Robbins things and did a million seminars and read all the books. I mean, literally, I probably read about a hundred books at least on personal growth and development. And I found that these things are all great. But when I really started looking into my sexuality and kind of healing things at the root, it was so profound and so healing more than anything I’d ever done, which is why I decided, you know what? This is work that needs to be shared with every woman. And this is my calling. I want to introduce this to other women and have it be something that’s not scary, have it something that’s safe and realize, you know what? It’s just like going to the dentist or brushing your teeth, your sexual self-care is just part of your holistic health.Rachel Rose(04:35):Yes, and I agree with you now completely, but I do have to, there’s a couple things that came up from what you shared, but I really want to take us back to that moment when you woke up. This cannot be my life because we actually met during that time.Amanda Testa (04:54):Oh, that’s right.Rachel Rose (04:56):And I have an in it. So first of all, we’re on audio now, but I’m actually looking at video of Amanda with her beautiful earrings and her lipstick and her glowing, and I just could bask in her beautiful face and not talk at all. But I have a very clear memory of the first day that we met and we were at this coffee shop in Denver for a little woman’s group, and I can see you arms crossed, maybe no makeup on, just kind of in this sort of shell or just in this kind of heavy place. It wasn’t the shell necessarily, but this heavy kind of disconnected place. And it’s just remarkable. You seem like a different person, but in this way that you’re so much more yourself. Does that feel true?Amanda Testa (05:45):That does feel true. And that’s amazing that you reminded me of that because that is another thing that I did at that time was join that book club that we were in. And I do recall, I remember the first day I showed up there, I think I was just, I cried the whole time. I thinkRachel Rose(05:59):I wasn’t going to say that, but yourself. That’s okay.Amanda Testa (06:07):But just the change that I do agree, I do feel like a totally different person and so many good ways. But also knowing that’s not an overnight journey and that you have to accept that to get to the next level. You’re going to have to go through some dark times and they don’t have to be forever. But knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel and to get through that shadow is what takes you to get to the light at the other side. And then every time you go through a different, it’s like peeling an onion. People say that, but it’s true. You get through this level and then this other version of yourself, which is more true to who you really are, emerges. So yeah, that does feel true.Rachel Rose (06:47):

And I feel so inspired by you. And so just excited to see, excited that excited that you really committed to yourself in that moment that things were going to change and you just really did whatever it took to get there and to experience this new truth of you. And I have a couple of questions about that, but the one that’s coming up is what’s the best part of all this juicy growth and change that you’ve experienced?Amanda Testa (07:18):Yes. I can tell you for me what the best part is is being at home in my body, really feeling at home in my body. And it’s such a divine gift in that I think for me that is the hugest thing, just feeling so comfortable, so confident, so happy, so much joy and pleasure and so much more energy in general.Rachel Rose (07:41):

So good. It’s so true. Oh my God. Not being at war with your body and just being at home with her and in love with her is the best thing ever. So what’s coming up for me is for sure, when I first started learning about sexuality, I think the idea that it was the root, that it was the thing, you’re a personal growth junkie. I’m a personal growth junkie. I think a lot of women were searching and we’re reading and we’re listening to things. I think there was a way in which it was intimidating, I guess, because I was really pretty sexually shut down. I wasn’t really experiencing any pleasure in my own sex life with my lovely husband, but my body was just shut down. And so I think I felt like I didn’t have a sexuality, like, oh, that’s nice that those women are doing that, but that’s not really going to work for me. Or just it felt intimidating, scary, and intimidating. So just wondering for our listeners what you would have to say around that, because there might be some women feeling that way.Amanda Testa (08:45):And I think that’s a good thing to point out too, because sexuality doesn’t just mean sex. It’s so much more than that. I think of it as an energy. It’s an energy that we can cultivate and then use for anything that we want. It doesn’t have to. I mean, yes, if you want it to be for sex, that’s amazing, but it doesn’t have to be. And that it’s just the way that we feel about that part of ourselves. I mean, it’s a primal part of who we are. Just like eating, drinking water, shelter, clothing, sexuality is a huge part of who we are as humans, and we can’t just shut that part of ourselves down and think that everything else will be fine. And I think that many times we don’t even realize that it’s an issue. Things maybe just dandy or things are fine and you don’t even give it much thought, and that’s fine too. But if you are curious and want to learn more about it, it’s so worth diving into because I find that you may not even realize the messages that you have or that society has given us how they show up in your body. And I think that is the big key, is really getting connected to your body, what the messages it has to say are, and listening and learning how to do that and through the sexuality is a big way of how you do that. At least in my experience.Rachel Rose (10:05):

And I had this experience, and I think maybe this is what you’re saying too, that really nothing helped me love and accept and embody my body sexuality work. It was like all of the, I love myself, affirmations in the mirror, heady stuff that I had tried. We read Renee Brown, we read, read all the books, and it was just like a theory, but actually laying down with yourself is that’s the game changer.Amanda Testa (10:42):And really being able to look at all parts of your body and feel gratitude and beauty when you see it and not feel ashamed. I mean, that’s who we are. It’s part of our anatomy. It’s a beautiful part of who we are and how we were created. And women, I feel so grateful to be a woman because we’re such amazingly complex, glorious creatures. Totally. Yeah.Rachel Sizemore (11:08):And there’s this way in which the way culture has kind of disconnected us or put us at war with our bodies, it’s like dimm and our shine. It’s taking our power to put us at war with our bodies. It’s really kind of radical to say, I’m going to try and create a new relationship with my body,Amanda Testa (11:27):And I can see how the part that’s intimidating, you mentioned that earlier, kind of addressing this work is intimidating. I knew for myself it was super intimidating and although I feel like I always felt like my husband and I had to find sex life, we do, and we did. But it’s so much more amazing now. I mean, it’s exponentially better and there’s so much more depth to it and so much more connection, and we just keep growing deeper and deeper. Our relationship gets better every day, and we just really respect it for the gift that it’s so that too has been huge. I think on this journey is that realizing this can be sexuality can just be a container for so much. It’s not just for pleasure, obviously that’s a great part of it, but it’s for connection and it’s for that vital part of us that as humans, we long for connection. And you have to find that first by connecting to what you desire, what you want in life, what do you even want? Secondly, connecting to your body and feeling really at home and connected to your body. And third, connecting to the people that surround you.(12:38):It may seem scary, but it’s really not. It’s very simple actually.Rachel Rose (12:42):

And what would you say to the person who’s like, I don’t have any feeling or sensation. This sounds lovely, but this is not, I’m not a sexual person, or this isn’t possible for me because that’s kind of how I felt at first when I started.Amanda Testa (12:57):I would say you just have to start and be accepting of where you are in this moment and knowing that we all start somewhere. And the beauty is of the acceptance of where you are now and making little steps along the way to make change. I feel like anything, it’s baby steps, whether it’s your health, whatever it is, maybe start drinking more water and start taking walks that’s going to help your health, your sexuality, the same thing. You can start with little baby steps that aren’t too overwhelming. Maybe just listening to your body and maybe just literally putting your hands on your lower belly and just feeling what that feels like. What does it feel like to touch your own skin? What does it feel like to touch your face gently getting into your just sensations, your sensuality? That is such a baby step is your five senses. So I would say you can start small and know that every little bit of the way is going to take you to where you want to be. It’s like the, what is that book that I read that was so good? The Slight Edge? I think basically a two degree shift and how that makes such a huge impact in the long run. It’s like just two degrees.Rachel Rose (14:09):

I love what you’re sharing because you’re just saying get into your body. Just start. It’s all ego. It’s all fear-based stories. Oh, I don’t have this. It’s not possible for me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you’re just saying, yeah, that can all be there and just be with yourself. Just hold your lower belly and see how that feels. And I think, oh, it’s so beautiful and exactly right. We can just have all the stories and be like, cool. I’m just going to take this first little baby step. Yeah, so good. So tell me a little bit more about this podcast, what the hopes and dreams are for it. What’s the yumminess?Amanda Testa (14:53):Well, the reason I started this podcast, number one is that I really want to open up these conversations around sexuality. I feel like it’s something that so many women are afraid to talk about or only talk about behind closed doors. And I just want to open it up and let people know this is a safe thing to talk about. This is a normal thing to talk about. This is an everyday conversation. It doesn’t have to be something that there’s shame around or that I want to make it easy and accessible. And I also just feel so grateful that I’m surrounded with so many amazing women who have done work in this area, and I want to really showcase what is possible. And I have so many amazing women that I’ve interviewed and their story of how they went from feeling disconnected and numb to having this thriving sexuality or thriving career or creativity and just how things can shift positively when you do this work. So that is the purpose of Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. And I really just want people to know that this conversation is so important and it’s so needed now more than ever.Rachel Rose(15:56):

Oh, I completely agree. And it feels so lovely to have this safe space to be having this conversation. So then even if you are feeling a little intimidated or overwhelmed or whatever, you can just start with listening and getting curious. Well, what are these crazy women doing? And they’re like, well, that’s kind of intriguing. Oh, okay, well, here’s this simple way to get started. And yeah, you’re creating that beautiful safe space for this conversation. And that’s so needed. ThankAmanda Testa (16:28):You. And I really have such amazing experts that have come on and just shared so many great easy implementable tips. And I really feel like having the opportunity to showcase the variety of ways this can show up in your life and the variety of ways you can work with it, so it’s not just a one size fits all kind of approach. Everyone’s different. And so maybe I’ll resonate with you, maybe someone else will resonate with you, but just to let you know that there’s plenty of resources out there should you decide to get more curious.Rachel Rose (17:05):

And that is one of the things about sexuality work. I feel like it’s just curiosity upon curiosity. Oh, what is, yes, totally. I’m just feeling like I want to know a little bit more about what you do with your clients. Can I ask you that?Amanda Testa (17:29):Of course. So my main client base I would say is moms. I work with a lot of moms to reconnect to their libido and their sexuality and who they are as a woman after having kids, because I know from my own experience, that was a huge thing. It just feeling disconnected. It’s such a huge shift as a woman to turn into a mother and that comes along with so much and just every single trigger coming at you with a kid, all that stuff comes up. And so that is what I specialize with is just really helping moms. But then through that, obviously I work with a lot of other women and many times then couples as well, because women have had such awesome results and then they want their husbands to get on board. And so it really is amazing how this work just opens up relationships to yourself and just watching women blossom, it’s incredible. Really isRachel Rose (18:25):

Yes, it’s so good. And you’re totally right. I think it’s true. You get to start to create this growth for yourself. And it’s kind of a common theme that I see where we as women have a lot of support. We’re growing, we’re expanding. We start to access some of that yumminess, and then we’re like, oh, this guy, crap, I love him and all, but come on buddy. Have you seen that with yourAmanda Testa (18:55):Clients? Oh yes, of course. And I think one of the things that’s interesting is that the more they see you kind of stepping into your own and really making yourself a priority, they actually get more out of it as well in the end, because you’re more vibrant to be around, you’re more fun, you’re kinder, there’s more harmony in the home. You are better with your kids. The communication piece is so big too, with your kids so you can communicate better. You’re are just more available for them too, because when your cup is full, this is such a common phrase, but it’s so true. You have to take care of yourself first before you take care of others, and giving women permission that yes, you are important. Yes, taking care of yourself should come first. This is huge. So against what we’ve been taught in our society that as a woman, you should come first.(19:46):That is not what we’re taught. And so taking that step for yourself and giving yourself that permission, I’m giving you permission, everyone listening, put yourself first. You have permission. And then when you do that, everyone else benefits. And then typically, I’ll tell you, nine times out of 10, the husbands come along because they want to know more, and they see the change in you and the change in your energy, and then you have the opportunity to help them, to help awaken them at a deeper level. But it all starts with yourself, all the healing in the world, every change that happens has to start with you. You are the example for everyone in your family, and especially as a mom, that’s important. You are teaching your kids, you are teaching your daughters how they should treat themselves. You’re teaching your sons how they should treat women. It is really important.Rachel Rose(20:38):

Oh, so important. We learn as kids, we learn what our moms do more than anything. And so it’s like, yeah, if you’re struggling to find the permission to take care of yourself just because you’re worth it, it’s like, yeah. Also because you’re teaching your kids, and I think you’re right, it is a common phrase, but it needs to be said because we’re still not doing it. What would you say to the piece that’s like, I feel guilty for doing that. I feel like I don’t even know where to start. I’m so busy. I’m so overwhelmed.Amanda Testa (21:16):And that’s so common. And the number one thing is just to, like I said earlier, just accept where you are. I know that’s okay. And it can start as simply as making a list. What do I want? I always tell, I know we love this practice is what do you want? And literally taking out a piece of paper and set a timer for 10 minutes on your phone and just answer that question for yourself. Maybe it’s a cup of coffee, maybe it’s a trip to Bora Bore or whatever it is, but giving yourself that opportunity to even dream and think that way, because many of us don’t even take the time to do that. I mean, I know for a while there, I wouldn’t even go to the bathroom. I had to pee mad, but there was a million thing else to do, so I wouldn’t even pee.(21:52):I mean, come on. You got to take care of your own biological needs. And I’m sure that now I actually will be a couple minutes late if I need to run into the bathroom before I’d go somewhere. I’m going to do that where I wouldn’t before. So I mean those kinds of simple things like taking care of your basic needs. You need a cup of water, get a cup of water, don’t leave the house. You can be a couple minutes late if you need that water for your trip. That’s what I would say to start with is connecting to what you want. And it’s not easy and learning it’s okay to receive. And feeling that part of you that feels guilty, just holding that peace and just accepting it and allowing it to be there, knowing that it’s probably just trying to keep you safe in a way. All the parts of us that show up in resistance to what we want, it’s typically because they’re trying to keep us safe and in what we know and the status quo. And so change whenever we change parts of ourselves that really don’t want that to happen because it’s not what scared, but just again, I said before the baby steps and just reassuring that guilty part of you along the way that this is better for everyone. This is better for everyone.Rachel Rose (22:57):

Yeah, I love that. It’s like self-soothing. Just being able to kind of hear that voice that’s like guilty. You shouldn’t be taking this time for yourself and just reminding yourself, no, actually this works. Actually, I deserve this. Actually when I’m feeling good, the whole family feels better. And to just keep reminding yourself. Yeah, because it’s so true.Amanda Testa (23:20):So true.Rachel Rose (23:22):

Preach. Preach. It’s just so true. So I have this kind of fun idea that I thought I would kind of pepper you with some quick fiery questions that I thought would be kind of fun. So let’s see. Tell me three things that you love about yourself.Amanda Testa (23:47):Ooh, that’s a good one. I love my smile. I feel like I have a really jovial persona that helps people feel really loved and comfortable, and I really love that about myself. I also love this curve of my armpit where it hits the top of my breast. I just love that curve so very much. And I love all my parts. I really do love my whole entire body. I feel like now I can say that and actually mean it deep in my bones. It feels so good. That to me is a huge blessing right there.Rachel Rose (24:24):

So good. Yeah, I’m like, I could tell all the things I love about you, but those are some good ones. Okay. Tell me three things about what you do that you wish people understood, that you wish people understood better.Amanda Testa (24:44):That’s a great question.(24:46):I think just letting them know that it’s not that hard and it’s simple things. It’s simple ways to really embody the things you want, not just mentally, but in your body as well, through breath, through using your body, through getting all parts of your brain on board. And I feel like a lot of people are intimidated by this work and think it’s weird, but it’s really simple. It’s not that, I mean, it’s deep and it requires commitment, but it’s not scary. It doesn’t have to be scary. It can be fun, and I’m pretty fun. No matter how deep and dark it may get, we always will make it fun.(25:28):Super fun. So yeah, I think it doesn’t have to be hard. It can be simple. And the second thing that it actually can be fun. Anything else that you wish people understood about what you do and just(25:46):How transformational? It’s just the difference I see in the women, how much more confident they are, how they drop weight without even trying how their relationships together, how they maybe switch jobs or get new careers or things start taking off in their lives. I mean, it is incredible the difference that I see before and after. And it’s just, to me, I feel like such a powerful key and I’m grateful for the women who have chosen to go down that path with me and to be able to find their own keys. I like how we heard this once in one of our classes, that a great teacher will help you find your own keys. It’s like they’re not giving you the key. They don’t own the key. You have the key just helping you find your keys again, so that you have all the tools you need, everything is within you. You already have everything you need. You’re already perfect. You’re already whole. You’re just perfect as you are. It’s just reminding yourself of that and finding your own keys to unlock that fire back within you.RachelRose26:47):

Yes, and it feels so good to have a teacher who’s like, bring me home to yourself. And I think it’s really cool to actually sign up to have a coach and a teacher, because I think we get stuck in the theory, let me just read this next book. Let me just listen to this next thing. And really having a teacher and a coach is about, and doing the sexuality work too. It’s about moving from theory into practice. It’s like all the ideas and getting into the body with it. Yeah,Amanda Testa (27:17):I’m sure people can relate. How many times have you read a book and it got to the part where you had to do the work and you’re like, oh, yeah, I’ll get back to that. Yeah,Rachel  (27:23):I’ll do that next week.Amanda Testa (27:25):You never touch it again. And it’s also just great to have someone reflect back to you and really guide you to go deeper and hold you in a way that is going to get you to go a little bit further than you would do on your own.Rachel  (27:41):Yeah. Yes, definitely. Much further. Sometimes understatement a little further. Okay. Okay. Next one. This one’s a good one. Tell me three areas of your own personal growth or that you’re working on right now.Amanda Testa (28:05):Oh yeah, that’s great. I love this because I think to be a teacher, I always have to practice what I preach and that is what I do. And so I’ve realized now the more self-aware I, I laugh to my husband. I have a queenly amount of time I need for myself. And so I have to schedule that in. And if I don’t, I can tell a huge difference. So I have to schedule in at least four jeg practices a week. And that’s one of the practices that I teach my woman. It’s working with a yoni egg. So basically it’s an egg made out of jade, and it’s kind of like a yoga for your vagina basically. But it’s so much more than that. Oh my god, so much more than that. And so that, another thing that’s really important for me is scheduling in time to just be, because I am always so focused and driven and I have a million projects I work on at the same time, and so it’s taking that time every day to focus. So that is the area for me. Where I’m really working on right now is just focusing on one thing at a time. Because as many years have, I thought I was a great multitasker, no, I’m really not.(29:15):Nothing gets done that way. So just really focusing on one thing at a time and asking myself that question every day, what is my focus? And coming back to that, when I start going down the a million squirrel pathways, I like to go down. So for me, that would be it, but it’s making that time for myself. I’m really good about that. But the part that I’m not as good about is staying focused. So yeah,Rachel Rose(29:38):

Thank you for sharing that. It is kind of nice. See, we’re human and it’s a growth process and you experience lots of yumminess on the way, and also we’re still growing.Amanda Testa (29:50):And also another thing too is constantly re-rooting in my own worthiness because I think as anyone out there, we always, there’s a part of us that thinks we’re not good enough or that thinks, oh wait, I need to be doing this. Or, oh, this person’s got all this going on, and then maybe you’ll compare yourself or whatever it may be. I know for myself, the way I combat that is by rerouting in my own worth, through just taking time to maybe breathe through that and find trust in the ground beneath me or whatever it is that I create for myself to reroute into that is key as well, because it’s easy, especially as an entrepreneur to get caught up in the, oh, I need to be here, or, oh, this person’s there and I need to be there. And that’s what really helps me to kind of come back to my own worth. I’m perfect as I, I’m enough. What I’m doing is enough. So that to me is huge, and knowing when I need to reach out for help with that.Rachel Rose (30:44):

So taking time to re-root, you mean taking time to reassure yourself and say, I am worthy. I am doing enough,Amanda Testa (30:53):And getting into some embodiment about that. Yeah. I love breathwork and you’re an amazing breathwork teacher, a guide as well, and I really find that it’s such a healing tool for me, and that is a way that, the thing about I love about breath work is that it basically kind of shuts off that cortical control so you can get into your body and you don’t have all that noise going on, so your brain can actually hear what you’re saying. The root part of you can hear what you’re saying. And that’s what I love about. So that’s what I will do is literally breathe into my worthiness and if things come up, which they typically do, let it out through my moving, my body, shaking, screaming. I mean, I always joke the neighbors think I’m crazy, but that’s just how we roll over here at Testa household.Rachel RoseRose31:41):

Yeah. We’re primal beings. Sometimes you need to sound and move and Yeah, so true. And I love what you’re saying too, recognizing that sometimes you need to reach out and you need a little more support to reroute and to get back to that place of feeling yummy. And yeah, that’s just how it goes sometimes.Amanda Testa (32:01):That to me is a big part of my healing journey as well, is being able to ask for and receive help. I remember even, I think I’ve told this story before, but when my daughter was born, you’re not supposed to drive right after you have the baby. And I was bleeding like crazy, and I needed pads, and I didn’t want to go out to the store, and then I didn’t call anyone for help. I mean, I probably could have, but I didn’t. So I just shoved some toilet paper in my pants and went along my day and I think back now, wow. I really needed some help and I didn’t ask for it. There were many times where I really could have used some help and I didn’t ask for it for whatever reason, and now I can easily ask for help when I need it, and then more importantly, let people help me. And realizing that we’re not meant to do it alone. That’s the other thing that our society has grown so away from is having that community of support and it’s so important. And so you have to create that for yourself in some way and know that you have people that have your back.Rachel Rose(32:59):

Yeah, it’s like the abundance we’re seeking of love, of support of community. It’s like we’re seeking abundance, not realizing that asking and receiving or actually, if we were just willing to slow down and do that, the abundance would be there.Amanda Testa (33:21):Yeah.Rachel Rose(33:22):

Yeah. So good. So true. Okay, last one I have, and this one could be kind of tricky. We were very dear friends. Tell me three things that I do not know about you.Amanda Testa (33:36):Oh my goodness. That is fantastic. You know me so well. We’ve been through some deep transformation together. I think you know me better than mostRachel Rose(33:48):

Can just be some fun little things. It doesn’t need to be like,Amanda Testa (33:51):Yeah. Let me just think here. Oh, well, I used to play the banjo when I was in fourth grade. I’ve always loved music, and one of the things my parents are really awesome about is whenever I showed interest in a musical instrument, they would really encourage it and get me the instrument and get me lessons and really support that, which I’m really grateful about because I love music. It’s one of my favorite things. So that would be one of the things I would say. On that note, I’ve seen probably about 500 concerts, if not more, and I used to follow the Grateful Dead, and that is something that everyone knows about me.Rachel Rose(34:30):

I love it. I actually did know that you followed the Grateful Dead. I’ll let you have that one because it’s one of my favorite things about you that I’m so glad you shared. I know 500 concerts I did not know, but I completely believe,Amanda Testa (34:43):Yes, that’s always one of the things I wished for in my partner is that they would be just as comfortable in at a concert at Red Rocks as in a tuxedo at a fancy event. And I’m grateful that I found that in my husband because that to me, I love that versatility and that is a fun thing that I have all these different parts of myself, and I like that he goes along for the ride and is into that too.(35:10):But I can(35:10):Express themRachel Rose(35:11):

All and it’s so good to give yourself permission to express all those parts of you.Amanda Testa (35:17):Yes. What would the third thing be? Yeah, let’s see. Well, when I was 18, I went to Europe with some of my high school friends and we traveled for six, eight weeks, something like that. And it’s pretty hysterical when I think back now, because I was only 18 and as an 18-year-old, the most important thing that we enjoyed about Europe was that you could drink when you were 18,Rachel Rose (35:45):

The wine.Amanda Testa (35:48):So we actually, it’s funny, this past weekend had a reunion trip with 11 of my girlfriends, many of whom were on that trip with me, and gosh, did we laugh so hard at our antics. It’s kind of amazing that we made it to this point today. But we laugh, we’re like, Hey, at least we really did get to know some locals and hang out and learn about the cultures where we were versus going to all the touristy things. We did some of that, but we also really rooted into the people, which is kind of fun.Rachel Sizemore (36:19):So good. Yes. I love hearing a little bit more about you and the other things. I know you grew up in the south, and then did you move to Colorado after the Europe trip? Did you move to Colorado?Amanda Testa (36:31):When I graduated from college, I moved out to ColoradoRachel Rose (36:35):

And lived in the mountains. IAmanda Testa (36:36):Did. I actually lived in a tent in the middle of nowhere for about two months. That was awesome. It was such a great, that was a good transition for me. Literally letting go of all my material possessions and moving across the country by myself and living in a tent and starting this whole new life for myself was revolutionary for someone who grew up the way I did. So it was pretty awesome, and I’m really grateful for that experience. It taught me so much about resilience and creating something from nothing. And although now looking back, I was like, maybe I should have taken advantage of family and community more, which I do still love so much, but for me, my path was to move here and to start this new life, and I’m so grateful that I did. So, yeah,Rachel  (37:26):I just really admire and see you, Amanda, as a person who is just really willing to go for it, follow your heart and follow your path. And I know it’s looked windy and different over the years, but it was a cutting edge sort of huge to yourself to go live in that tent. And it’s the same, it was a cutting edge, huge to yourself, to be a depressed, stuck in the mud mom and to say, I’m striking out. I’m doing something a bit radical. I’m going to do whatever it takes to feel better to follow my heart. And I just love that about you, and I’m absolutely obsessed with the fact that you now are helping other women do the same because we need you and this beautiful podcast, and I’m so grateful for you and for your gifts.Amanda Testa (38:12):Thank you. Thank you. I’m so grateful for you, and thank you so much for taking the time to interview me, and it’s been so enlightening for me as well. It’s always so fun to talk to you, and I really do feel so grateful that I have been able to find such amazing people to support me on my journey, so thank you.Rachel (38:32):I think that is one of the things, right? You step up to yes to yourself and the other women who are doing the same flow into your life more and more, and then you’re just like, ah, this is the best feeling ever.Amanda Testa (38:42):It’s definitely not easy. I mean, hello. Standing up for sexual empowerment is not easy and people don’t like it a lot of the time, and so you will get knocked down and beat up, and it’s really important to have that support and know when you need to reach out for refueling. I’ve taken all the lashes I can take for one day. Lemme connect with someone who knows and can reassure me that just keep stumbling down the path and you’ll get to going.Rachel Rose (39:10):

I love it. I love it. Aw, love you so much.Amanda Testa (39:14):Thank you. Yeah, and hopefully if you guys like this, you’ll please share it with other women who could benefit and give it some positive reviews and really help this be something that can help other women and everyone out there listening. So thank you.Rachel Rose (39:30):

Yay.Amanda Testa (39:32):Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa, and it would mean the world to me. If you enjoyed this episode to please share it, go to iTunes and give me a five star rating and array review so I can meet other wonderful listeners like you to continue these opened and honest conversations. You can always find me on Facebook in my group, find Your Feminine Fire Group, and also on my website, amanda testa.com. Thanks so much again.

How To Feng Shui Your Life with Marie Diamond

January 10, 2024

How To Feng shui your Life With Marie Diamond

Are you ready to transform your living space into a vibrant sanctuary that not only boosts your Feminine Fire but also rejuvenates your soul? This episode of the “Find Your Feminine Fire” podcast is an absolute must-listen, as we dive into the transformative power of Feng Shui with the renowned master, Marie Diamond.

In this week’s episode, Feng Shui Master Marie Diamond unravels the mysteries of Feng Shui, illustrating how simple changes in your living space can profoundly impact your life goals and personal energy. 

Marie’s unique approach, which includes tailoring Feng Shui techniques based on individual energy numbers, offers listeners practical and specific advice to optimize their spaces for career growth, health, and relationship enhancement. 

Whether you’re a Feng Shui novice or a seasoned practitioner, this episode is packed with insights and tips that promise to enlighten and inspire. 

Tune in to discover:

✨ What’s possible when you change your surroundings, and how to overcome the obstacles in the way of changing your space.

✨ What makes Marie’s approach to Feng Shui unique, and the science behind her method.

✨ Learn practical tips for your home and workspace- and what you should NOT be doing!

✨How to use Feng Shui to manifest your desires, and inspiring stories of transformation.

✨ How to make your bedroom a “Love Sanctuary”, and the common thing we need to get out of the bedroom STAT for better connection.

✨ And much more!  

This is just a glimpse into the treasure trove of insights Marie Diamond shares in the episode. Be sure to listen to the full podcast for a deeper dive into the world of Feng Shui and personal transformation!

(Complete transcript below)

Listen in here on Spotify, or Apple Podcasts

JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.

Marie Diamond is one of the world’s top transformational leaders, star of the major network TV show Feng Shui Your Life, bestselling author, and expert teacher on the Law of Attraction and Feng Shui. She is an Energy Master and was featured in the worldwide phenomenon The Secret.

Get her latest book, Feng Shui Your Life: A Beginner’s Guide to Using Your Home to Attract the Life of Your Dreams here. 

Grab her app here to find out your unique Energy Number and your Feng Shui Diamond Compass. 

After a near-death experience as a teenager, Marie has made it her mission to enlighten 500 million people with her teachings and wisdom. A “seer” in the modern context, Marie merges her profound intuitive knowledge with her extensive studies of quantum physics, Feng Shui, and meditation to help her students attract financial success, improved health, long-lasting relationships, and spiritual growth.

Marie has taught more than one million students over the last 30 years and has spoken in more than 30 different countries. She has published best-selling online courses with MindValley, Learning Strategies, Younity, and the Shift Network. She is also a founding member of the Global Transformational Leadership Council and is both founder and president of the Association of Transformational Leaders of Europe.Marie is a business and spiritual mentor to celebrities, CEOs, and top entrepreneurs alike.

Connect with Marie Below!

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Website

Want more support from Amanda? Schedule a confidential 1-1 call with Amanda⁠ here.

In this 45 min call, we’re going to identify your #1 block to pleasure, why it’s showing up in the way it is, and what to do to turn it around. ⁠⁠After doing this work for almost a decade, I can quickly identify the patterns holding you back, and show you the steps to change it. ⁠⁠Permission to reach out even if it feels scary. Permission to reach out even if you aren’t even sure you want to do this work. Permission to reach out to explore if this is right for you, no strings or pushy sales tactics here.⁠

If you liked this episode, please consider giving me a 5 Star Review on Apple Podcasts! It truly does help the podcast grow. 

Have a topic or question you’d like Amanda to address on a future episode? Submit it on this anonymous form.

Amanda Testa (00:02):Hello and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome.(00:21):Hey, what’s up? It’s Amanda. If you’re enjoying this pod and you know are ready to say yes to more pleasure and you are just wanting to know, how the hell do I do it? Well, you are in luck because as of now we have spots available in the Pleasure Foundation, which is my pleasure membership, where twice a month you get an amazing practice that teaches you how to drop into your body to become more connected to yourself and to learn the art of sacred self-care. So if this is something you’re interested in, go to amandatesta.com/tpf as in the pleasure foundation, amandatesta.com/tpf and we will see you there.(01:01):Imagine transforming your home into a vibrant sanctuary that not only ignites your feminine fire, but it rejuvenates your soul and can transform your entire life. Today’s episode is a must listen as we delve into the world of feng shui and its transformative power, I am so excited because today I am beyond thrilled to introduce you to our esteemed guest, Marie Diamond. She is a renowned Feng Shui Master and has transformed the lives of countless individuals with her expertise and intuitive approach. She’s here to share valuable insights from her latest book, Feng Shui Your Life, A Beginner’s Guide to Using Your Home to attract the Life of Your Dreams. So get ready to be inspired and learn how your home can become a catalyst for profound personal growth and joy, welcome Marie. I’m so happy to have you.Marie Diamond (01:45):Thank you so much, Amanda. It’s so exciting to be here with all your fans, listeners, and viewers.(01:51):Yes. Well, I’d love to start for those who are tuning in and maybe they don’t even know what Feng shui is, if you wouldn’t mind sharing a little bit about what that means and what kind of connected you to this path.(02:01):Thank you for asking. Yeah. Feng Shui is something people I’m sure have heard of, but they don’t always know what it means. And it is really a Chinese energy system that has been around for thousands of years. And I would say we already are connected, perhaps more popular with some other energy systems that are used in the Chinese tradition like acupuncture, Tai chi or Qigong. Well, you have to think this is all about the flow of energy, the qi as we call that. And feng shui is really, I would say a sister system, but for beyond your body, literally for the home that is a bigger body around you. And so finding out how the flow is of your home and how to use what we call the Feng and the Shui means the wind and the water vibration. What we also have in our body, we literally have water in our body and we have air.(03:00):So it’s the breath that we need and we know if we’re without air that we feel suffocated. Well, sometimes in our home we feel the same way. We feel like we come in a house or we come in a part of our home, we feel like suffocated, we feel like there’s not enough energy there. And then the first thing I think women always do is cleaning up or they want to redecorate things or they want to open up the windows and let the sunshine come in. So in a way we do that instinctively when there’s not enough air and good vibration in our space. But feng shui is really the energy system that has found over the thousands of years, the principles behind it, the formulas how to really by doing certain things and certain placements and certain colors to really always enhance your space around you.(03:55):And because of that will enhance the space within you. And so for me, that has been a journey since I’m 15 years old after a near death experience and being really on the other side, coming back asking myself, asking God, what is it that I did do wrong? And the answer came to me through a spiritual mentor that I had bad feng shui. And literally the place where I slept, I really felt the heaviness of that space. I felt I was suffocating in that room. And so I changed to another room, painted it in a different color, did hang other images around me, and literally my life start turning around because what is around you is subconsciously affecting yourself, your mind, your heart, the actions you’re taking. And I start going on that journey from that moment on. And once I understood what an impact it had and I started studying with the grand Masters in the Asian tradition, I really understood that this is something I wanted to share with the world because it is so impactful and so easy to change things around us. And because of that, your life will change also.Amanda Testa (05:12):That’s fascinating. So I’m curious for you too, you mentioned, I know you’ve been doing this for decades and you have such experience, you’re a master in this. I’m curious to know when you think about some of the biggest impacts you see that this has on people, particularly a lot of the people that are listening to my podcast are women that are looking to feel better in their skin and have more energy in general. And I love how you just said what happens around you is affected inside. But I was curious if you maybe could just share maybe a story of some kind of that impact that it has on people if you wouldn’t mind.Marie Diamond (05:46):Yeah, of course. So immediately a story comes to mind of a woman in New York and she was like, Marie, I feel stuck. I feel like people are not respecting me. I feel really down on my luck. And I was like, that’s interesting. So I came to visit her and as I walked into her space, there was a image, a modern painting, but with words in it. And one of the words that was on it, it was the first thing she saw when she walked in was in big letters, the word victim. And I was like, oh my God. I said, do you feel like you’re a victim? She said, oh yeah, I am a victim from my husband, from this. And I was like, well, it’s interesting you’ve been telling that to yourself and perhaps because of that you’re attracted buying a painting that has that word in it or that word was there and you start thinking that way.(06:47):And she’s like, oh my God, I never thought about that. And so this is a story that I feel, but I’ve seen also people feeling so stuck in their life and I think about this one woman, and actually she was from Denver, Colorado, and she called me and she’s like, Marie, I am so stuck, I don’t know what to do in my future anymore. And I said, can I just see your home? And everywhere in her home was so much clutter and she had collected so much things over the years and she did not know how to get rid of it because it’s not so easy always to organize yourself. And I said, let’s go through it together. And so we went through it. I helped her to clear the energy in herself to forgive herself, first of all to hold on to all so much stuff because she had a lot of judgment about it.(07:40):And so before we knew it, all this energy opened up for her and she was like, Marie, I’ve been trying to get money from an insurance claim that never has been paid out. And as she was opening up her space and reorganizing things, she started seeing that people started coming back to her home. Her family came to visit her. There was space now for her family, the insurance claim got paid out. And it was like, yeah, but now there’s space for new things. And she used it to paint her house and to make everything more beautiful. And she also got a new partner. So it sometimes we are holding onto so much and one of the first step is also to open the space. And to open the space is also to let go of things that are broken and go of things that we do not longer use anymore.(08:32):Things that we feel we’re holding on to, I dunno, for whatever reason, but that actually stops the chi, stops the flow of energy. And I share always in the book Feng Shui your life, it’s like everything around you is affecting your subconscious mind. So every color, every item, every clutter that is around you is affecting you. And we don’t understand it, but we are getting more stuck because of what is around us because it’s the easiest to change literally is pick something up and turn it away or change. I literally, I moved into a new home, I painted a wall in the beauty of my favorite color. So when I look at it, I feel always joyful. So putting things around me through a certain system that will actually help you to get to become aware of everything is affecting me. And once you understand that, you can start letting go of things.Amanda Testa (09:33):That makes a lot of sense because it is hard to declutter for a lot of people. That is one of the hardest parts.Marie Diamond (09:39):It is. And we have in a functional life book of a specific system that I have used for hundreds of thousands of people. And that is proven. I mean people say it works, it helps them to get to the next level of decluttering. And I would say first of all, try to get somebody to help you with that. And that asks you the question, do you need to use this in the next year? It’s not about does that gives me joy because a lot of things gives you joy, but just practical will I still need to use that in the next year? And if one person can be with you and ask you that question because we find something or take you, oh my God, I got it from my aunt. Oh, this is a memory connect with dad. But the question is sometimes we want to keep some of the memories, but not everything you need to a little bit challenged by somebody that says, really, is this something you can use for the next year?(10:37):So it’s like you ask yourself certain questions and that’s very helpful. And you also understand that in the system that I’m talking about in Feng shui is very personal. And so we have seen that based on your birthday and your birth gender, you actually have an energetic profile and that energetic profile connects in with the wind directions. So compass directions. So everyone has what we call a personal success, health, relationship and wisdom direction. And once you know these directions, that’s the first corners of a space that you will declutter because it’s possible you can’t declutter everything but your success direction where you will attract success in your career and money you’ll always want to declutter first your health. If you have a challenge with your health, if you have problems with your relationships, you’ll first focus on your relationship corner. And this is very personal and people, of course the book Feng Shui Your Life explains all this. But you also can download my free app, Marie Diamond. You just put in Marie Diamond on any Apple store and you will actually need to put in your birthday and it will calculate a number. And once you have that number calculated, you will get a compass. And that compass will indicate the four directions that are important for you. And I know you have downloaded that too, Amanda,Amanda Testa (12:08):I was really fascinated because it makes a lot of sense because I have a basic understanding of Feng Shui, but not as really appreciate your unique method because it makes it a lot easier to just with the compass, you don’t have any questions, it’s just very simple. You can just hold it and it will show you. And I think that’s very helpful for people. And I also appreciated just all the resources that are there on the app as well as in the book. I would love if you would share a little bit more about what makes your method unique.Marie Diamond (12:38):Yes. So there is in America a system called the bagua system that is more a general system based on the front door. And when I was trained as I’m a classical Feng Shui Master, so I’m really trained in the ancient traditions that are thousands of years old and about a thousand or 500 years ago, they start understanding that the qi comes from the wind and the compass direction. It shows the wind energy and that is very personal. So based on that is something called the Compass School. And I use that as a method to help understand people that certain wind, certain wind directions will actually affect you more than others. So it’s a very personal system. What I love about it, because it’s not general, you can always say, well this area is general for everybody, but is it for you because you have a very personal energetic profile.(13:38):And so I found a way to make that accessible in an app and I wanted to make sure that the access was free for people so that they could really use the app and all the time find out in the place where they sleep, where they work, where they live, or any place that they’re spending a couple of hours in to at least find out where’s their success direction. And so what you do then is that in that success direction for you, it really affects you the most, more than the general system. And so whatever is there is affecting you. And we’ve seen that within three seconds, it goes so fast that we can see if there is clutter or the wrong images in your success direction. We’ve seen that the brainwaves are changing. And so I put that whole system together and we did testing with the brainwaves.(14:33):And so when people are in beta brainwave, they are much more focused on the past, they’re much more in fear. So when your success direction has the wrong images and has clutter, you go faster into fear, into worries about the future, about money, about your career. When people then put the right images up there and they declutter that area, that success direction, in that case, their energy changes within a few seconds. It goes very quickly. More and more alpha brain waves are occurring in your brain. And even if you don’t even look at it, it’s just being present in that room because it’s really a quantum physics field. And so when people then are there, they feel like more creative, they feel more uplifted, they feel more inspired, more solution driven. And so it’s like your energy shifts really and your brain shifts. Your mindset is there’s a lot of people do wonderful things intuitively, right?(15:38):Oh, I put something intuitively, yes, it’s possible that you write on and you put the right thing, but there is a proven energy system based on your birthday that you have certain colors that work for you. You have certain, I would say images that work better for you. Today I tuned into Amanda and I felt I needed to put myself in a gold look right now. I did not know and you immediately commented on my outfit, but you’re number six and one of the colors for the number six is gold. And so everything metal, so I always tune in to what does that person needs, but also gold is definitely one of my colors. So I will use some of the colors to come across. And that is all really explained in the book and it makes such a difference because it’s so personalized and it works for you all the time the same way. So from the moment of birth till the moment you pass on it is the same directions, it is the same colors, and you can even use that for your website or your branding or anything you’re doing. It’s all aligned with your energy.Amanda Testa (16:57):I love that. It’s so interesting because I don’t know if you notice behind me, but I have these kind of metal panels which I did not realize were connected and I’ll have to double check where they are in my directions. But I noticed such a difference in the energy in my office and my business. I reorganized my office, I don’t know, maybe 18 months ago and it felt so much better and I put these up, which I really love. So I think that’s interesting. Yeah. So I’m curious too, I know you’ve seen so many thousands and thousands of homes. I would ask curious maybe what are a couple of the things that a lot of people do that they should not be doing? What should most people avoid? What are the things that we should not be doing?Marie Diamond (17:39):Yeah. Well the first thing I always share is especially for your romantic luck and for your health is in your bedroom, try to avoid having mirrors because our mirror, the facade of a television can be a mirror too. So when you have mirrors, you’re actually doubling the energy and when you’re asleep, you’re doubling your sleeping energy. But it also doubles your stress that you come in with. And there have been tests seen in China that when you have mirrors, you are easier doubling your weight, easier doubling your inflammation, your blood pressure, the white blood cells. So it really affects your health. But also if you are single and you’ll have mirrors, you’re doubling your solitude. And if you’re with two people in the bed, you’re doubling the partnership. So it means that there’s not such a confidence and trust in the relationship. So first of all, always cover anything to do with mirrors in the bedroom.(18:42):You can put the screen in front of it or you can hang something like a curtain or you remove them. So that’s the first thing I would like you to do. The second thing is a no-no is remove anything that is dead looking. So a plants that are dead looking pottpouri, but some people have dead skin, cow skin as a carpet or anything that is broken. So anything that is not vibrant needs to be replaced. That doesn’t mean you cannot have fake plants, but for example, I have a fake plant behind me, but it looks so real that it’s okay because I travel so much. I’m not always so good at watering my plants, but it cannot be a dea orchid, for example. So because then you’re creating stalling vibration and when everything is stalling around you, you can literally not get to the next level.(19:43):And then also I always suggest people look through your house, walk through your house, you would be the universe, you would be God. And look through this eyes of awareness and see I have pictures still up from my children when they were five, but now they’re 25. How do I treat my children as their five year olds? Or do they feel like they’re listened? They can be listened to as adults, perhaps you have images of a lot of single women or men around you and you really want to be focused on the romance, then you need to change your images around you. So you really have to look around and thinking, is this what I desire? Is this the kind of energy I want in my life? So because I really say your home is a three-dimensional vision board and everything around you is affecting you. So are these images reflecting of what you want in your life? So look through your home with a little bit more, I would say critical, but little bit more aware eyes and to see, yes, I need to update my life, I need to change the energy.Amanda Testa (20:55):I’m curious. This was a really important tip that you mentioned about for your relationships. And I’m curious too because a lot of my listeners are oftentimes need to get the spark back in their relationship or to feel their desire reit. And so I’m curious when it comes to the bedroom, if you have any tips around that, anything else you can do in the bedroom to spice things up?Marie Diamond (21:14):Of course. So first of all, make sure that you’re aware of what hangs above your headboard. So what hangs above your headboard will inspire you and your partner. So if that’s an image of water, remove it. We do not want any water. Images in the bedroom creates a lot of emotional arguments. So release that, put something above your headboard that is romantic, have a beautiful heart above my bedroom, above my headboard. Or it could be an image of you and your partner. You don’t have a partner hangs something that is about love and hearts and a couple, but just make sure it’s not connected with water. The second thing I would suggest is add some warmer colors to your bedroom and especially earth colors like pinks and oranges, yellows try to avoid too many reds. I know people think reds is passion, but you cannot have, for example, a red bedroom because that’s too much fire and you’re always on alert energetically.(22:19):You can add a few red symbols like candles or little pillow, that is fine, but not painting a tin red. Yeah. Also, like I said, water is not good. So even if you have a lot of blue around you, like blue curtains, blue carpets or blue covers, remove that because when there’s too much water, there’s no passion. So people get too emotional, they get a little bit on the depressed side, so warm up the space with earth tones and even metal tones like golds are very good to put in there. Now also remove the clutter, put some images around you. Even on the nightstand, people sometimes are single and they only have one pillow and one nightstand. Now invite already a new person to come in by putting a nightstand on the other side. Make symmetry with two lamps. So to pillows, make sure there is space enough for both partners in the closet.(23:21):If it’s a walk-in closet or even in your bathroom, make sure there’s enough space for the perfumes and toothpaste and whatever for both partners because then you will feel more equal connected with each other. Last step is when you wake up and the first thing you see, make sure it’s not a television, so make sure it’s a beautiful image of both of you or something romantic. So adding that towards and redirecting, we have a whole chapter on relationship and of course checking out your personal relationship direction based on your birthday. For my example, mine is west and I just moved into a new house and in the west was a mirror. Of course the first thing we took out was a mirror. And instead I put a beautiful table with a picture of my husband and me and the first thing is always ask is this good Feng shui is bedroom because we’re already 33 years together. And I said, Feng shui really works because we’re not the easiest combination as characters, but the love is always there because we always make sure our bedroom is a love sanctuary.Amanda Testa (24:34):I love that word, love sanctuary. And I also, I love this too because I do not recommend people have electronics in their bedroom. It’s not good for your relationship, I don’t think personally. So I try to advise people, if you can avoid having electronics in your bedroom, great, right?Marie Diamond (24:49):Yeah, it is really important is what you focus on. So what you focus on will grow as I was one of the master teachers in the movie The Secret. So for us it’s really important that people become aware. It’s not just what you consciously focus on, but also what your subconscious is connecting with. And if you have your tablet and your computer and your phone too close to you, before you know it, you’re grabbing it and you’re scrolling and you’re looking at things instead of a book of inspiration or a journal or just having time to talk to each other before you go to bed to cuddle, make time for each other. If you can’t do that in the bedroom, where will you do it? Sometimes life is busy.Amanda Testa (25:36):That is so true. And congratulations on 33 years. That’s amazing. Thank you.Marie Diamond (25:39):Yeah,Amanda Testa (25:41):Yeah. So I’m curious too, because you mentioned earlier about your diamond number or your personal number. I’m curious if you could share a little bit more about that and what that really means, how people can utilize that through your teachings.Marie Diamond (25:57):So it’s really interesting when we look at the energy number. So what it first gives, it gives you an archetype. This is kind of, for example, I’m a connector, so I love connecting people, I love networking. So it’s a way of how your soul purpose is actually connecting in with your vibration. And so it indicates part of your soul purpose. Of course it’s possible to say I don’t feel like I’m the creator, but there’s more to that word than just the word creator. And that’s kind of something we explain deeper of course in my teachings. But it also first of all gives you the four best directions that are important for you that you can then start activating around you, but you can go even deeper into it. And a second book that I would then suggest from me is called the Energy Number book.(26:50):So when you go to Amazon and get FengShui Your Life and you want to do a little more information about energy number, you can go and get the Energy Number Book. And there it’s actually even what kind of professions, professional activities or passions that you attract, for example, what kind of things for your health that you need. Also, what kind of relationship techniques are working good for you. By knowing this, my energy number of my husband, I know what he really likes and he knows what I like. And so we found a new love communication language because of it also what inspires you and what helps you to have more mental wellbeing. So that’s all connect with your energy number. Plus there are also certain colors and you will see around when you go to the compass that you will receive, you will see that there are certain colors around the compass and these colors will really affect you.(27:54):So you will put them around you, you can put them on you as in your garter rope. And so it’s very interesting, it’s a whole system of not just implementing in your house, but also using it for your personal and to understand yourself better knowing your energy number. And so it’s a beautiful way to find who you are. And I remember the one man and he was telling me, most time people would come to me and say, oh, Marie, I know you’re from The Secret, and this man comes to me and is like, oh, I’m a number two, I’m a teacher. And I said, oh, interesting. And he’s like, I always wanted to study and I always wanted to teach and bring my wisdom to others, but I work in a hotel and it just gave me the courage and I put things out in my success direction. And now I just started to study to be a school teacher. And I was like, wow. It’s like it brings out, as you’re activating things around you, it brings out your soul purpose even stronger. And that is what I love about the system.Amanda Testa (29:05):I think that’s amazing because a way of also focusing your thoughts and your minds on what you want, but using the energy to help bring that in. And I’m curious if you could share a little bit more about how you can use feng shui to call in your desires.Marie Diamond (29:21):Yeah. So one of the first things we always do is ask yourself what are the goals of course that you have? And in Feng Fhui Your Life, we talk about the four pillars. So there’s like in order to build a house, a house of happiness, we need four pillars. Or your house falls over. So it is about success and money, it is also about your health and relationship and your wisdom and wisdom. For us, it’s about your connection with God. And because feng shui is not a religion, it supports any religion or spiritual practices that you have. So when we activate these four pillars, what happens? You start feeling a more harmonious and happy life because you feel more grounded. You feel like your goals are manifesting easier. And so a lot of people that wants to do manifestation, they write their goals and then they perhaps forget about it or they create a vision board or they try to pray or do affirmations for it.(30:23):Now what I’ve learned from my Grand Masters is that there are three aspects to manifestation. And so the first aspect is what you call your heavenly aspect of manifestation, of the law of attraction. And that is when you are born, you come in with some talents, you come in perhaps with a gift for mathematics or a gift to play piano. There is some basic manifestation already at place. You have chosen your parents or country where you live in. Now can you change that? You can change some of these things through decisions that you’re making, but there’s some basic vibration that you have. And most people think that destiny or that karma is like everything. No, it’s not true. We have the power to change that around. And the second part of that manifestation energy that we have is what you call the human luck. And the human luck is what you as a human being have as the possibility to change your mindset, to change your behavior, and to change your actions.(31:27):So that is the self-help, the self-development world. The spiritual world we are actually focusing on is to every day to have the discipline to be grateful, the discipline to think positive. But let’s be honest, it is not easy because life happens to you and it’s not always to keep that up. And so the last part, that missing link is your environment and your environment can be also a part of your manifestation. So it’s possible that you don’t have the discipline to always think positive about your money or think positive about relationships. But by placing things in your four pillars, in your four directions, that reminds you about what your focus is, what your vision is, what your goals are, that will actually subconsciously give you all the time a storyline. And so as you walking into that space, you subconscious will pick up the story that you’re creating around you and it’ll start affecting your mindset.(32:34):It’ll start affecting your behavior and the actions you take because everything around you is aligned with your goals, even if you forgot about them. So many times I have goals written down and then I put things in my directions and then look back at it. I’m like, oh yes, that was one of my goals. But anyhow, they are manifesting already and I’ve seen them manifesting and I’m like, oh, this has happened. And I didn’t even think about it. I’ll give you an example. So when in 2001 I came for the first time to live in America, I put a vision board up and on my vision board that I put in my success direction by the way, I put, I’m going to be in a movie seen by millions of people that will transform the world. And I just put it literally on the little yellow post-it note, I put it on there.(33:24):And so it was there. And I put also a symbol of it out because it’s good not just to put words but symbols. So for a movie, what is the symbol that’s an Oscar. So I put an Oscar on it. And very interesting, within a few weeks I had my first Oscar winning client and I didn’t even think of having an Oscar, but the universe was sending that vibration out because it’s in the right portal to the universe that is linked with your vibration. And so meanwhile, I have more than 20 Oscar winning clients. And then one day I was like, well, I ended up in a movie called The Secret that has reached more than 500 a million people by the way. And so it’s like, oh. And did I think on that everyday consciously? No, I didn’t. But my home was holding the space for it in a conscious way and my subconscious was receiving and opening up doors in the energetic field.(34:26):And I remember one day I was telling myself, I only get Oscar winning clients that have one Oscar. So I was like, what if there are more people that I can reach? So I got myself two extra fake Oscars, and within 10 days I was actually Feng Shuing the home of Steven Spielberg that has one more than three Oscars and I have several three Oscar winning clients now. And so it’s really interesting. It’s like you give yourself permission to change, but it’s possible your home is telling a different story then what you have in your mind. And so if your home is aligning the story with the goals that you have in mind, then your home will keep working on it on a subconscious level. Each time you come into that space, it gives vibrations and your mindset will start changing and you start attracting things that you’re like, oh, of course it was, was literally there. And I am so surprised, but I put it out there. So we say that Feng Shui is 33% of the results of manifestation. So if you haven’t dabbed into that and you feel like you’re stuck in your manifestation, start using Feng Shui Your Life because what it does, it opens the portals. And I’ve seen this over and over again with more than 1 million online students that people have amazing results with just changing their environment.Amanda Testa (36:00):I’m curious too, and I know you talk about this in the book, but for those listening where they’re wanting to make these changes, what would you say would be the number one place to start? Which room in your house or where is the most, would be the most important place to start first do you think?Marie Diamond (36:14):Well, I would say people that have a workspace and they have an office or a space that they work, I would start there because it affects their business, it affects their money flow more, and it’s always a good thing they feel. They start attracting different clients, they feel that there’s more possibilities and opportunities coming through their way. So that’s one thing I would change. And in that space I would try and make sure you are in a power position. So what is a power position for women? I call it the Queen position is that you are sitting on your desk or when you are working on your computer, making sure you see the door. That alone changes your whole perspective on life. If you are sitting with your back to the door and you’re like with your desk against the wall or against the window and the door is behind you, you do not attract all the things that you desire because literally everything is happening behind you.(37:14):So that little thing can totally shift your life. I’ve seen people getting raises, getting promotions, getting new jobs, new clients just by turning their desk around. And yesterday somebody said, I just did that and I had such a hard time getting new clients. Within a half hour I had 12 new clients calling me just because you are seeing the flow of energy coming in, and this is the door through the hallway, it’s not the door of the bathroom or it is really people coming in, even if you work online, I work online right now with you, Amanda and everybody listening, but literally I can see who comes in. I am in power position. So that’s the first thing I would always work on. And if you don’t have a workspace, then focus on your bedroom and make sure your bedroom is more beautiful, more harmonious. So these are the two areas I would first focus on.Amanda Testa (38:12):Yeah, I love, and I appreciate the tip you shared earlier about the mirrors because I think that’s something that oftentimes people hear is like, oh, a mirror will make your space look bigger or, so it’s interesting to note what you don’t really want that in your bedroom,Marie Diamond (38:25):Not in your bedroom. When you want mirrors, you can use them definitely in a living room, in a dining room, in hallways, you can definitely do that. But in a bedroom you really try to avoid that. And I’ve always seen people sleep so much better. They’re much more rested in the morning, they’re much more energized because the mirror is always taking away some of your vitality. So I know this is typically, and especially in America, it’s like everywhere I come there are mirrors. And I was just recently with somebody and he had mirrors on one side and mirrors on the other side. So his bed was multiplied like hundreds of times, literally. And I said, how’s your relationship doing? And he is like, oh my god, nonexisting. And I was like, well, you only can make love with yourself here hundreds of times. So it’s like, oh, okay, I’ll cover them. And then interesting enough, an old friend to call, an old girlfriend called back and they’re dating again. And it was really interesting how this thing’s very quickly shift because you already have aligned yourself with your goals and your home can inspire you to get to these goals or can block you getting to these goals. So it’s up to you to make that decision to start working on it. Well,Amanda Testa (39:46):I have one last question too. I’m curious because oftentimes when someone’s wanting to make change, how can you get the other people in your home on board, like your family, your partner, your kids, what would you share as some tips to get your family on board?Marie Diamond (40:02):So one of the things is you start first yourself. That’s the whole point. So you activate your direction, and so there can be in your bedroom, can be in your workspace, in a place where you feel you have some control, and then they start seeing the changes that are happening. And one of the good things with the app is everybody would love to know their number. And on the app you can actually have and check out the numbers for somebody else. But in order for them to start working, they need to download the app themselves because it creates a separate profile. But everybody wants to know, oh, I’m number four or a number two, what does that mean? So well, this is your success reaction. I have seen people, women that said, oh, my husband will never go for that, but they want to know their number.(40:51):Like, oh, that’s my success. Oh wow, what is going on there? A dead plant? Of course, my success, well, let’s remove it. Let’s play with it. So invite your family to play with you, right? Don’t tell them you have to change this because according to Marie Diamond, this is wrong. No, don’t go into that. I play with that just if my children who are grownups, right? They have the app and they’re like, my daughter’s in UCLA, so she’s like, mom, I looked at my dorm room. Oh, this is going on and this is going on. And she replaces things because it becomes a way of living. And because it’s so fun to app that people are like, oh, I can do that. You don’t have to really get into learning all the intrinsics of feng shui. What can take years. I have created a system that is easy, that is practical, that is fun to do, and the Feng shui Your life book is really a beginner’s guide, but I’m telling you, this beginner’s guide, my celebrities paid thousands of dollars for this beginner’s guide when I come to their place and they see the shift happening.(42:03):And now I have just tried to make it so accessible for each person because I believe that mainstream America, mainstream the world needs that information. And even if it’s known in the Asian culture, I’m a big believer that all of us need to have this information.Amanda Testa (42:22):It’s been such a delight to talk to you. Thank you so much. I’m curious too, before we go, if there’s any, maybe if there was a question that I did not ask that you wished I would’ve asked or anything else that you really want to share, and then you can share where everyone can find your book. But I would love to know if there was maybe a question that I didn’t ask or anything else you want to share.Marie Diamond (42:41):Well, I would say that most people are a little bit afraid of change. And so I would say it takes a little bit of courage to change yourself, but changing your environment is something that is quite easier. I mean, it’s just changing your desk, hanging a different image, decluttering a little bit. So it’s not like you have to have tons of courage to change yourself, right? It’s like acupuncture, literally the acupuncture of your home by placing certain things, there’s new flow, you feel like this new energy coming in and do that with your family, do that with your friends and you will see it’s kind of becoming an easy, wonderful energy that starts unfolding. So it’s not that you need courage for it, it’s just you need to take an action step and you can start with buying the book in the good bookstores or on Amazon, download your app and start playing with it.Amanda Testa (43:46):That’s beautiful. Thank you so much again for being here and for sharing all this wisdom. Thank you. I’m so excited to do more rearranging. As I was telling you before we started recording, I had an opportunity to read the book and download the app, and I’m so excited to shift some things around. So thank you.Marie Diamond (44:01):You’re welcome. Good luck. Luck with everything. Thank you for having me on your podcast. I appreciateAmanda Testa (44:06):It. Yes, yes. And I’ll make sure too, for everyone listening that wants to connect more with Marie or download the app, you can just find her@mariediamond.com and the app you can find on all the stores, right? The old store, the Android, all the things. So I would encourage you to do it because it is really fun, and I do appreciate how these energies really can shift things in your life. So thank you again for being here. Yes. We will see you all next time. Thank you for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast. If you love this episode, please go ahead and forward it right now to someone who would love it. And if you’ve not yet had a chance to leave us a rave review on Apple Podcasts, please make sure to rate and review if you enjoyed the podcast, as well as make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week.

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About Amanda


I’m Amanda Testa, a Sex, Love and Relationship Expert and founder of Find Your Feminine Fire. I help busy entrepreneurial mom's ditch the guilt and overwhelm and live a life with a lot more pleasure and fun.

My clients feel incredible in their skin, tap into abundant energy, take sex from a "to do" to something they look forward to, and enjoy better connection and fulfillment in their relationships.

She can be reached at amanda@amandatesta.com.

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Recent Posts

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About Amanda

I’m Amanda Testa.

I’m a Sex, Love and Embodiment Coach and founder of Find Your Feminine Fire.

My methods bridge ancient tantric tools combined with the latest in neuroscience to help high performing women ditch the guilt and unworthiness and embody confidence, radiance and vitality in all areas of their lives.

If you’re ready to stop feeling like an imposter in your own body (and business, and life), I’m here to help.

Together, we’re going to light your fire so that you can feel tuned in and turned on about every area of your life again.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

And yes, it’s so totally time.

15 Minute Sensuality Activation HERE

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